Soul's Scars
by WrittinInStone
Summary: After he dies on the Death Star, Anakin Skywalker undertakes a Journey to find true Redemption and become one with the Force.
1. Arrival

Note 1: This is only my second fanfiction work. Please read and review. I hope you guys enjoy this venture into this Verse.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me, only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Thank you for all of your support, you are truly invaluable to my work.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 1: Arrival**

**By: WrittinInStone**

The first thing Anakin noticed when he woke was the seemingly infinite vastness of gray and the absolute silence permeating the air.

For a moment he lay where he was, confused. Where was he and how had he gotten here? Before the thought left his mind, memories began to wash over him. They were memories of a battle on the Death Star, memories of the death of the Emperor in a brilliant display of blue lightning; they were memories of the face of Luke, his son, as death finally claimed him…he was dead.

Anakin lay there a moment longer before he got to his feet. Slowly he did a 360° turn, looking all around him. Gray: there was nothing but gray and it was everywhere. Anakin stood there, unsure of what to do. Should he stay where he was, or should he go? Staying did not seem like an option, as there was nothing where he was. Yet leaving did not seem viable either. Everything looked the same and everyplace seemed to lead nowhere.

Anakin hesitated and then took a step forward. His eyes widened as he immediately felt a pull on his body. He took another step and his body tugged at him, so he began to follow where his feet led. It never occurred to Anakin not to go; the presence leading him seemed benevolent somehow, as though it meant him no harm.

After walking for what seemed like no time at all, he perceived bright light of white in the distance, piercing the oppressive grayness. Smiling, Anakin began toward the light. He frowned as his body began to pull him in the opposite direction. He clenched his teeth and fought against his body to reach the white light; it emitted from a large white door of ivory and gold. It was the most beautiful thing that the Jedi had ever seen. Anakin paused in dismay as the pull on his body became painful. Then, with the strength of his will, he dismissed the pain and continued on. If there was anything that he had learned in his life, it was to endure pain.

As he moved closer to the door, he began to feel a warmth wash over him. Anakin inhaled softly at the sensation as it flowed over his body, washing over him and filling every fiber of his being. It felt like…peace…and rest. Anakin did not understand this. He was a Jedi again; he had defeated the Emperor and brought balance to the Force. Wasn't this the place for him, did he not deserve peace? But as he continued on, a shadow grew in his heart and memories of his life began to flash before his eyes.

_He was marching on the Jedi Temple, an army of clones behind him. He knew what he was there to do, what he had to do for Padmé. The cost to his soul did not matter; all that mattered was that the Jedi had to die in order for Padmé to live. _

_He ripped through the Temple like a plague, slaying every Jedi he came across, sparing no one in his path. He killed until he came upon the training room containing the Younglings. He entered the room, the hood of his cloak covering his head and shielding his yellow eyes from sight. He watched as a Youngling approached him, pleading for his help. He saw the young one jerk as he enabled his lightsaber; saw the horror of disbelief and surprise dawn on his young face as he realized that death and not salvation had entered the room. _

_He would never forget their faces as he slew them without mercy. They did not try to run, did not even plead, they simply watched him with wide eyes as he slaughtered them as though they were little more than animals, much like he had decimated the village of Sand People so long ago on Tatooine…_

Anakin clutched his heart as a pain unlike any he had ever experienced flooded his body. The faces of the Younglings, the Jedi, all those he had murdered flashed through his mind with dizzying speed until he couldn't breath. He sank to his knees as agony overwhelmed him. Through the haze of pain, he looked upon the white door, and its warm lights mocked him with its promise of peace.

Pulling on the last reserves of his strength, Anakin turned away and ran where his body urged him, far away from the white door with gold and ivory adornment. Breathing gradually became easier as he put more distance between himself and the door. When the pain had completely subsided, Anakin turned toward the door once more. This was not the place for him; Anakin could see that now. Gazing at the door a moment longer, he turned and began his journey anew, more determined now than ever to reach the place that would give him_ peace_.

End of 1st Chapter: I hoped you guys liked this, if you did, please review.

**2nd Chapter: Felix:** Anakin meets a young man who shows him the path to redemption.


	2. Felix

Note 1: This is only my second fanfiction work. Please read and review. I hope you guys enjoy this venture into this Verse.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me, only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Thank you for all of your support, you are the true reason this verse continues! You are TRULY amazing. =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 2: Felix**

**By: WrittinInStone**

Anakin had no idea how long he walked. Time seemed to have no hold in this place. He simply moved knowing that there had to be a destination at the end of his journey. After what felt like an eternity, Anakin spied what looked to be a lake in the distance. Excited by some indication of difference, Anakin sped up hoping that this was the end to his journey.

He slowed as he reached the massive body of water; it was a river and it was immense, with the length of it stretching far out of his eyesight. The river was gray, just as was everything in this place and yet it seemed different. It was as though it was calling to him. He hesitated as he neared the embankment, wary of what he would see there. Then he took a breath and peered into its depths.

Anakin's eyes widened at what he saw; it was his reflection. With a shaking hand, he slowly touched his face and watched as his reflection in the water mirrored his actions. He had hair, there were no burns, no cuts, and no bruises; he was as he had been so many years ago during the Clone Wars; young and perfect.

Anakin backed away from the pool, emotions building inside his heart. He looked at his hands and marveled. How had he walked so long and not noticed that there was no pain, no suit? How could he be so oblivious to the obvious, so blind?

"Now that, Master Skywalker, is the question, isn't it?"

Anakin whirled around at the sound of the voice behind him. It seemed out of place in the heavy silence, peculiar almost to the point of sacrilege.

The voice belonged to a boy. He looked to be about twelve years of age. He was slim and wore nothing more than a simple tunic.

"Who…" Anakin begin and then stopped. His voice…it was different. It wasn't supplemented by the heavy breathing that had accompanied the suit, the suit that he had spent the last twenty years of his life wearing. It was the voice of his youth, rich and clear. It was something that he had not heard in a very long time. It was curious that he had missed the sound of his own voice, it was even more curious that the sound of it brought tears to his eyes.

"Who are you?" Anakin asked steadying himself. "How did you get here?"

"I am Felix, the keeper of this place and guardian of the River of Scars." Felix, the young boy, cocked his head at Anakin. "It has been some time since last someone was here, almost a millennium ago."

"A millennium?" The number was more than Anakin could fathom. "Why so long ago, and why am I here?"

"You ask two questions, yet the answer to both are the same. You, Anakin Skywalker, are here because there is no other place for you. This is where you belong." Felix moved to the edge of the river. He sat down with his legs folded onto each other.

Anakin paused a moment to digest Felix's words. "I do not understand. I know that I am dead, and I know that I must be placed somewhere, but I do not know why I am in a place that is filled with nothing."

"You are in a place that is filled with nothing, Anakin Skywalker, because you are filled with so very much," Felix smiled at Anakin and then gestured to the openness. "This place is called the Gray, for reasons that should be obvious to you. This is where people such as yourself are sent."

Felix dipped a finger into the river and slowly began to swirl his finger around in the water. Strangely enough, there were no ripples, the water only moved where his fingers touched. "You are an enigma to the Universe, Master Skywalker. You were an agent for good and did many honorable things in the name of the Force, and then you became an agent of evil and spent nearly the same amount of time causing pain and suffering throughout the galaxy. Yet in the last moments of your life, you reached for the light and rid the world of the great evil you yourself once served."

Felix paused in his swirling and turned to face Anakin. "If a Jedi you had remained, your path would be clear. You would even now be in the Force, reunited with your fellow Jedi, forever to rest as a reward for your loyal and faithful service. But you turned to the Dark Side and there you were supposed to remain, for never in the history of life has a Jedi who has turned to the Dark Side ever returned to the light. So, it is as I said before, Master Jedi, you are an enigma. There have only been three beings such as yourself who have ever entered the Gray. You are now the fourth."

"So, I have come to be in this place because I am a Jedi again?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, but that is too simplistic. You are in this place because you are a Jedi who has done great evil. You are in this place because your soul has been irrevocably scared due to your actions. You are in this place because your life is one big shade of gray." Felix jumped to his feet and began to circle Anakin, staring at him critically.

"You, Anakin Skywalker, have come to the River of Scars for both punishment and reward. Darkness yet remains in your heart but love holds equal place there. You are here because you are the Chosen One and you did exactly what you were supposed to do; you fulfilled the prophecy."

Felix waded into the River. He closed his eyes as though he felt the waters to his very core. "The River of Scars is the embodiment of suffering, the embodiment of pain. The River shows us what we have done, where we have lacked, the pain that our actions have caused. It shows us the scars on our soul and the scars that we have left on the souls of others. It shows us what could have been and what was not because of us. You must travel the River, and face the truth. You must face all those that you have hurt. Only then will there be a place for you in the Force."

Felix paused. He looked over the vastness of the River and stared as though he could see something that Anakin could not. "Retribution must be given, Anakin, for all the pain you have caused. But because you are not evil, you cannot be sent to the Land of Weeping and Sorrow. Yet justice must be done, for this is balance and balance is the way of the Force."

Felix turned in the water to face Anakin. "This is one journey that you cannot avoid, Master Jedi. The water is like fire. It will burn you; it will singe you and cause your soul much pain, adding to the weight that is already there, but at the end there is forgiveness, justice and most of all, true redemption. The gray waters show pure truth, which is so much harder to endure than lies. The truth can set free but it can also break the spirit, for truth is sharper than a double-edged saber."

Felix waded out of the water. "You will start your journey when you so choose. I cannot say how long it will be or what events will occur. I only know that it must be taken soon."

Anakin gazed at Felix and then at the gray waters of the River. Everything that Felix said rang with truth, every word that he spoke struck Anakin to his very soul.

_The River of Scars is the embodiment of suffering, the embodiment of pain_.

Anakin thought on those words. Suffering and pain…it was indeed what he deserved for all that he had done. Killing the Emperor was not enough to remove the stains from his soul. In truth, he had killed the Emperor for purely selfish reasons. He had lost so much: the Jedi whom he destroyed; Obi-Wan Kenobi, his mentor and best friend whom he eventually killed; and Padmé, his soul mate and the love of his life whom he had killed by destroying her husband. Through his deeds he had lost the things that had meant the most to him. Yet at that moment in his life, as he watched the Force-lightning of the Emperor rip through his son's body, he had made the ultimate decision. He would save Luke's life or die trying because Anakin refused to watch Luke die; he had refused to lose his son too.

Anakin knew that what he had done to the Emperor had been a miracle. Even now, Anakin could not guarantee that the events that occurred would have happened at all if the young Jedi facing Darth Sidious had been anyone other than his own flesh and blood. This was why Felix was right; this was the place he needed to be. He did not belong at the white door where rest and eternal peace radiated and shone. He deserved the river of pain and suffering. He had to make amends.

Anakin turned to Felix, "What must I do?"

Felix stared at Anakin for a moment. Satisfied with what he saw there, Felix turned and pointed toward the Eastern side of the River. "You will begin your journey here. But where the River takes you, I do not know."

With a wave of Felix's hand, a pontoon boat appeared at the edge of the River. "This will be what you will ride in." Anakin nodded climbed into the boat; there was no need to linger in this place.

"Wait!" Felix called.

Anakin turned at his cry. Felix waded into the River and with a deft jump, landed in the boat next to Anakin. "I must go with you. There is something you must see before you start."

Anakin raised his eyebrows, a question on his face. Felix simply smiled a secret smile. His raised a fist forward and with a lurch, the boat began to move. For a while, there was nothing but silence and gray water. The River fascinated Anakin, for it was not one color of gray but many. There was gray water so dark that it appeared black and gray water so light that it appeared white. All shades of gray in between were present in the River of Scars.

He started as the boat hit upon shore, they looked to be at a small island in the center of the River. Felix jumped from the boat and beckoned for Anakin to follow. Curious, he treaded behind Felix until they came upon a small house. From where he stood, Anakin could see what looked like a massive tree, standing tall behind the small cottage. It looked like three different trees; one was a birch tree1, one, a bonsai tree2, and the other a holly tree3. Anakin remembered similar trees on Naboo, many years ago.

"Wait here." Felix said and entered the house. Several moments later he returned, a small smile on his face.

"There," Felix indicated a path on the side of the house, "go around to the back. Someone is waiting for you; they have been waiting for you for a very long time."

Frowning, Anakin did what he was told and walked along the side to enter the backyard of the cottage. There was a flower garden there with the petals of the flowers being various shades of gray akin to the waters of the River. It was lovely in a strange and intense way and unlike anything Anakin had ever seen. It was quite amazing in its uniqueness; he would have never thought that gray flowers could be so exquisite. Anakin turned away from the garden and walked toward the trees, certain that this was where the person waited for him.

It was then that he noticed that although there were three trees, their roots were intertwined as one with the separation occurring at the middle of the tree. Anakin smiled at the uniqueness of it; his wife would have loved something like this. Anakin shook his head, his mind immediately shying away from thoughts of his wife. There promised pain and grief far worse than what had been experienced at the white door. His wife was a train of thought best left alone.

Closer to the tree, Anakin spied a bench. A figure appeared to be sitting there, facing away from him and staring over the River. Anakin's heart began to pound and his pace quickened to the bench. The form that sat there was achingly familiar as though he knew it intimately, as though it was a part of his soul.

Heart in his throat Anakin stopped next the figure. The identity of the person made his heart pound. It was so loud in his ears that he could hear the individual beats of his heart. Anakin could not speak; he could only stare at the one staring at him. The other had no problem speaking. Tears streamed down her face and finally after an eternity she spoke.

"Anakin. My Ani. I knew you would come to me."

Anakin opened his mouth to speak, but sound refused to manifest. He cleared his throat.

"Padmé," he croaked.

End of Chapter 2: I hoped you guys liked this, if you did, please review.

**3rd Chapter: The Will of the Force:** Anakin is reunited with his wife.

Footnotes:

1. Birch tree meanings include new beginnings and cleansing of the past.

2. Bonsai tree symbolism includes harmony, peace, balance and all that is good.

3. Holly tree symbols include protection, overcoming of anger and spiritual warrior.


	3. The Will of the Force

Note 1: This is only my second fanfiction work. Please read and review. I hope you guys enjoy this venture into this Verse.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me, only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Thank you for all of your support, you are the true reason this verse continues! You are TRULY amazing. =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 3: The Will of the Force**

**By: WrittinInStone**

It was his wife; it was Padmé, his heart, his universe, his soul. She was just as he remembered in life; beautiful. Her long dark hair fell in waves down her back, and her brown eyes were as warm as the sun. Here she sat, on this bench in front of him with tears streaming down her face and a brilliant joy in her eyes at the sight of him as though every prayer that she had ever prayed had just been answered.

Did she have amnesia? Had she forgotten how she died, what he had done to her while she was _pregnant_ with _his _children?

Suddenly, it was all too much. Forsaking the last remnants of his pride, Anakin fled. He could not face her, could not face all that he had done to the only person other than his mother who had loved him despite his darkness. She had loved him unconditionally, and what reward had she received for her devotion to him? Heartbreak by Force-choke, courtesy of her jealous and evil-minded, Sith Lord husband.

Stumbling to the front of the cottage, Anakin ran to the boat desperate to be off of the island. He would rather travel the River for eternity than to face Padmé. There was no way that she could still love him. No way. He could not accept her love; he deserved it much less now than he ever did in the past. He felt so filthy and unclean in the light of her goodness that he thought he would explode with the self-loathing that flooded him.

"Anakin, wait." Felix appeared inside the boat. "You cannot leave like this. She has waited long for you."

"Yes, I can leave." Anakin said dangerously. "I must leave here, do you not understand? I cannot _face_ her."

"Master Jedi, do you know how long she has waited for you? Do you know what she has risked, what she has given up to await you in the Gray?"

"Felix—" Anakin begin.

"No!" Felix cut Anakin off and suddenly he was no longer a boy, but a man. Anakin drew back in trepidation at Felix's sudden transformation. The man that was Felix swooped forward to peer directly into Anakin's eyes. Anakin met the ageless eyes of the guardian and found that he could not look away. "Maybe you need to see what she went through to be here for you, maybe you need to see what she gave up for the past twenty years so that she could wait in this gray hell for someone who might not show."

Anakin stared into the blazing eyes and time…_rushed_. Anakin felt dizzy as the world spun. Then suddenly everything stopped and the abruptness of it made Anakin experience vertigo. Through hazy vision, Anakin could see Felix standing near him. Reaching out a hand, Felix touched Anakin.

Then just as suddenly as before, Anakin's dizziness fled. He was…on Naboo! Anakin marveled at the sight of the lush paradise. It brought joy and sadness to his heart as memories of happier times came to his mind. This was where he and Padmé fell in love, where they were married and where they first consummated their union.

"Why are we here?" Anakin asked, suddenly wanting to be away. That time seemed a lifetime ago and only reminded him of what he had lost.

Felix said nothing, only pointed. Deciding that there was no reason to refuse, Anakin moved in the direction that Felix indicated.

Suddenly Anakin saw Padmé walking towards him. As in life, his heart began to beat a cadence at the sight of her. While alive, some people had called her plain, some people had called her the Ice Queen, but to Anakin, she had always been as beautiful as the sun and had warmed his world the same way.

He stilled, waiting, knowing that it was inevitable that she see him. But she simply walked past him as though she did not see him, her step mutinous, the look on her face determined. Anakin turned to Felix questioningly. Felix shook his head and nodded toward Padmé.

"Padmé! Padmé!" A woman ran toward her. Anakin recognized her as Cordé, one of Padmé's handmaidens who had died from an assassination attempt on Senator Amidala's life.

"Padmé!" Cordé repeated, catching up to her, "I know what you plan to do and you need to think about this! This is not the way! This makes no sense!"

"Cordé, I know what I'm doing." Padmé never paused in her stride.

"No, milady, wait!" Cordé pulled on her arm to forcibly stop her. Padmé shook her off and turned to glare at her.

"Please don't touch me like that." Padmé warned softly.

"Mistress, please just listen to me! This is insanity; you cannot do this! It is madness!"

"Cordé, I know this may seem foolish to you—." Padmé began.

"That's because it is, Padmé! You are trying to leave Paradise so that you can go to an awful place to wait for the husband that killed you! You want to leave your family and your friends to go to a place where there's only a whopping one chance in a couple _trillion _that he will be there when he dies? He's a _Sith_, milady! You know that people like that go to the Land of Weeping and Sorro—"

"No!" Padmé pulled away from Cordé, shaking her head. "I know Anakin! There _is_ good in him! He _will_ come back to me and when he does I _will_ be there to welcome him home."

Padmé paused and looked away, shaking her head with closed eyes. She opened them and turned to Cordé so that she could see the pain there, "Do you think that I have not weighed the risks?" Padmé whispered. "Do you think that I have not thought about all of these things?"

Padmé closed her eyes. "You do not understand Cordé. No one has ever been able to understand why I risked so much for him while I was alive and why I now risk my very existence in the afterlife for him. Cordé, I am more than just in love with him…" Padmé looked Cordé directly in the eye "he _is_ my existence, the reason that I am. I cannot explain it, but…when he looked into my eyes and told me that he loved me, when he held me in his arms, when he told me that I was in his soul, I knew that there was no going back. He said it and it was true; my soul had taken up residence in his. After that I was more than just Padmé, I was more than anything I had ever been in my life… I was complete, Cordé." Padmé whispered.

"And now…" Padmé's voice cracked, "Now that I am without him, knowing that he can never reach me here, I feel as though I am dying everyday in this place you call Paradise. Don't you see? I have to go to him. I have to. I know that he will come back to me, Cordé. I know in my heart that he will be there. I just know it," she murmured. "I have to do this and I don't want you to hate me or worry about me; just trust me, Cordé. Please."

Cordé was silent for a moment, then she took a deep breath and pulled Padmé into a fierce hug. "Anakin Skywalker had no idea what he did when he made you fall in love with him. I hope he can appreciate all that you are although words cannot express how truly great that is."

Padmé's eyes misted over and she returned the hug with all her strength. "We will see one another again, I promise. It is eternity after all."

"Yes, I know," Cordé tried to laugh, but tears streamed down her cheeks belying her sorrow. "I will miss you, milady, and I will pray to the Force everyday that your wishes come true."

Padmé squeezed her hand. "I know it will Cordé, I know it will." With one last quick hug to her former handmaiden, Padmé began again. She didn't look back.

Anakin had no time to process what happened before Felix pulled him into another place.

It was bright here, very much like the lights of the white door. Anakin immediately saw Padmé. She stood in the middle of what seemed like pure white nothingness. Her eyes were closed and she wore a dove white dress that flowed around her body.

"Please," she intoned in the voice she had used as Queen Amidala, "Please allow an audience with me. I wish to make a humble request."

"A humble request?" An amused voice seemed to echo from everywhere, and yet, nowhere. It sounded like many voices, yet they all spoke as one. "A request by its very nature is not humble. But ask what you will, Daughter of Light, for you have greatly pleased Us." The Voice faded into the white nothingness.

"I wish to enter the Gray." Padmé said strongly.

"You wish to be moved to the Gray?" The Voice confirmed, seemingly unsurprised by the request. "You wish to wait for _him_, do you not?"

"Yes, I wish to wait for my husband there." Padmé said monotonously. "I believe that he will defeat the evil in his heart and in the Galaxy. From what I have learned, this is the only place that he can go. I wish to wait for him there."

"Daughter of Light, do you realize that once you go there, you will be trapped there for eternity if he does not indeed defeat the darkness in his heart? This is the risk that you take. Only one before you has ever dared to do such and his love failed him. She was banished to the Land of Weeping and Sorrow for the deeds that she committed in life and he was forever cursed to live in the Gray. Only three in all the countless deaths in existence have ever entered the Gray through their life actions, and you will only be the second to enter by choice. An existence trapped in the Gray is a lonely and meaningless existence void of peace and rest. It is a place In-Between and not one where people are meant to go. The only chance you have for escape is if your love finds redemption and is welcomed into the Force, or if the Force itself deems that you may leave. Do you understand all that we have spoken to you?"

"Yes, Masters. I understand." Padmé replied.

"And do you still wish to enter the Gray?"

"Yes, Masters. I do." Padmé confirmed.

There was silence and then a sigh. "Very well, Daughter of Light. It will be as you have requested and because you are highly favored by Us, we will do that which has never been done. A place of your own will we give you in the Gray, until your love dies and is Placed. Normalcy and a companion will you have, until the days of your waiting are over."

Padmé's voice slipped into normalcy, as gratitude flooded her. "Your humble servant is ever grateful, Masters." She felt a warmth akin to affection spread through her before the presence of the Voice disappeared.

Anakin watched as Padmé sunk to the ground. The play of emotions across her face showed her doubt in her actions, her anxiety about the choice she had made. Then she shook her head and determination and an unfailing faith bloomed across her face; faith in him.

Anakin's eyes never wavered as Felix came to stand next to him. He watched as another Felix popped up next to Padmé.

Padmé's eyes widened at the sight of him.

"Hello!" He said cheerfully. "I am Felix and I will be your companion in the Gray."

"Hello, Felix." Padmé said, a smile gracing her lips. "I am Padmé, and I am your new neighbor."

"That's fantastic!" Felix said enthusiastically, "It'll be nice to talk to a real person for a change. Talking to gray water has gotten pretty old."

Padmé laughed, "Well with as much time as we may have to spend with one another, I may just start looking like gray water too!" She joked.

As the past Felix and Padmé became acquainted, the present guardian touched Anakin lightly on the shoulder, and suddenly they were back on the island.

"Now do you see? Do you understand? She has given up everything to be with you. You must face your fear, you _must_ face her, because if you leave her here, she will be trapped forever." Felix looked away, "As I was trapped by the one I loved."

"You were the one who was trapped here so long ago." Anakin stated, already suspecting the truth.

"Yes, it was I. I believed that she would change, that my love would change her. I didn't realize that she didn't want change, she wanted what she already had; power, riches, respect, and she didn't care what she had to do to get those things, even use me." Felix's eyes had grown dark, and he flexed his large hands as though strangling someone. "I could be in Paradise right now, but I foolishly decided to love someone who did not love me." He turned to Anakin, "But you, Master Skywalker, you made it here. You made it to the Gray and that is a large part of the battle. You took the first step on your journey to redemption simply by coming here and not to the Land of Weeping and Sorrow."

"Anakin—" Anakin started at the soft sound of his name, and there was Padmé, standing at the edge of the cottage, watching him. Anakin swallowed hard and turned to face his wife. She was exactly the way that he remembered her. Her long, dark brown hair fell to the small of her back in delightful disarray and although she wore a plain light brown dress, she shone like a flame in the darkness.

Her voice filled the void in his heart. It was like the singing of one hundred angels and it rang true, through to his mind and his soul. "Anakin, please don't turn away from me." Her voice was filled with pain.

"Padmé." Anakin whispered her name. He knew that after all that he had seen, he could not deny her. He stepped toward her, slowly. When he was within arm's length, he paused. Then he reached out a hand and gently touched her cheek. "Why, Padmé? Why?" It was all he could say, all that he could manage.

Padmé closed her eyes and pressed her cheek into his hand. "Because," She murmured simply, "I love you."

Anakin closed his eyes to fight back the tears but they would not be stopped. He emitted a sound; it was a sound of sorrow and despair, it was a sound of disbelief at the soul slaying devotion that Padmé had bestowed upon him. That's when the dam broke and the flood of tears flowed from his eyes.

His heart could not take this fullness, could not take her love. He felt so unworthy, so very unworthy, that her impossible love hurt him far worse than her well-deserved hate would have. Hate was something that he could have handled, was even something that he expected. But this dedication, this unmerited love? He did not know how to handle it. How could he bear this feeling of failure, of uncleanness? How could he abide this feeling of shame?

With tenderness in her touch and love in her eyes, Padmé pulled him into her arms as though she understood exactly what was in his heart. That's where he cried. He cried until his body felt weak and his throat felt raw. There Padmé stood, holding him, comforting him and not letting him go.

Finally his tears were spent, yet he did not release her, just held her close to him as though she were his lifeline. Padmé grasped his face into her hands and brought him down to her until their foreheads touched. She breathed deeply, her heart full of contentment because she was in his arms again. She inhaled, tasting his spirit, the life in his soul and then nothing existed as consciousness fled. There was no Anakin, no Padmé; they were not two separate beings, but one that was unnamed with no one before them.

"Padmé," he breathed her name as though it were life itself. "Padmé." Her name on his lips told her everything that he felt, and it was enough.

They stood there as perfect silence rolled over them, embraced them.

"This was always meant to be, you know," Anakin and Padmé turned their heads to find Felix sitting near the boat, facing away from them. "You two were always meant to be together, it was the will of the Force."

"I know." Anakin said quietly, his gaze returning to his wife. "I felt it as soon as I saw her. I was a slave boy of nine on Tatooine, but even then, I knew that I had to have her, that I had to love her. There was never another for me. During our ten-year separation, I wondered if I was crazy for planning to pursue a relationship with her. I wondered if I should allow myself to be controlled in such a manner by the Force. But then I saw how amazing, and brilliant, and lovely that Padmé was and I knew that I could not have made a better choice."

Padmé beamed at Anakin, happiness budding across her face.

Felix cleared his throat. "Look, I'm starting to feel like a third wheel here, so let me tell you what you must do."

Taking Padmé's hand, Anakin nodded. "Tell us."

"Yes," Felix nodded, "But before I tell you, there is something you must know, Anakin. When Padmé sacrificed life in Paradise to be here, not only did she trap herself in this place, but she bound her existence to yours. Because she has done this, Padmé must take this journey with you and she can only leave if you complete it."

At Felix's words, Anakin grew cold. "Are you telling me that Padmé must suffer as I will suffer?"

Felix did not answer, but the look on his face was answer enough. Fury building within him, Anakin turned to Padmé. "Did you know about this Padmé?"

"Yes, I did." Padmé said steadily, matching Anakin's gaze and unfazed by his anger. "I was meant to be by your side, Ani, no matter what. I chose this existence because I needed to be with you. Your destiny was to be the Chosen One and my destiny was to be with you every step of the way. So don't you dare stand there and get upset with me. I am here because this is where I want to be; there is no reason other than that."

Silence reigned after her firm dressing down. A reluctant smile tugged at his lips; he had been without her for so long that he had forgotten how feisty she was, how perfect for him.

"Sorry, milady." He said, grinning impishly at her. "I'd be much too frightened to get upset with a Senator."

Padmé smiled at him as memories of similar words filtered through her mind. "Oh, Ani." She leaned into him and inhaled. How was it possible that he smelled this good in the afterlife?

"Okay." Felix said loudly, "Now that we've gotten that out of the way. Anakin, Padmé, you must begin your journey. As I said before, I know not what you will encounter, only that you will make it if you face it together."

"I believe you, Felix. We've always been able to accomplish much together." Anakin smiled down at Padmé.

He took her hand and walked to the boat. Padmé paused and then as though remembering something important, she walked back to Felix and hugged him. "Thank you so much for your company, your encouragement, and your friendship." She squeezed him tight and then joined her husband. "Please, make yourself at home here. After all, the guardian should have his own place."

Moved by her kindness, Felix nodded. "Good luck milord, milady, and may the Force be with you."

"And may the Force be with you," Anakin replied his tone full of gratitude.

Anakin assisted Padmé into the boat and then pushed off. They immediately noticed the difference in the boat's movements. It moved with purpose as though on a set path. They watched the island as it moved farther away and disappeared from sight. Anakin pulled Padmé close to him, and laid his head on top of hers. He smiled and closed his eyes; she had always been the perfect fit.

The boat moved forward, barely disturbing the water.

"Ani, I think I see something." Padmé said after a long while, breaking the silence.

Anakin opened his eyes. The boat had made its way to a blue light, directly in front of them. The soft light beckoned him. Anakin stood, ready to face what was ahead. He reached for Padmé, but she shook her head.

"I don't think I can enter, Anakin. I think this is for you."

Anakin recoiled from the light. "Then I won't go." He had just gotten her back; he would not lose her again. He refused to.

"Anakin." Padmé pulled him down next to her, and took his hands into hers. "Fear of loss is what led you to the Dark Side in the first place. I know that we are dead, but it is not too late to change. Don't worry, my love. Go, and I will be here when you return."

Anakin bit his lip and looked into the blue light. Then he suddenly grabbed Padmé and pulled her lips to his. It took only moments for her surprise to melt away as a hunger for him rose like gale winds within her.

_By the Force his lips are soft,_ Padmé thought as she tried to consume him. This_ is what I waited twenty years for, Cordé_, this _is Paradise_.

Anakin finally pulled away from her and studied his work. Her eyes were wide, her hair even more frazzled than before and her lips were pink and slightly swollen. Satisfied with his effort, he leaned in and placed his lips on her neck. She stiffened and then sighed and relaxed as waves of desire crashed onto her.

"This is so you won't be lonely while I'm gone." His fingers were deep in her hair. "Wait here, I'll be back soon." Running his lips gently once more over the pulse in her neck, he pulled away from her and entered the light.

Padmé fell to her seat, dazed. "Wow," was the only word she could manage.

End of Chapter 3: I hoped you guys liked this, if you did, please review.

**4th Chapter: Fruits of Labor**: Anakin journey of Redemption on the River begins.


	4. Fruits of Labor

Note 1: This is only my second fanfiction work. Please read and review. I hope you guys enjoy this venture into this Verse.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! You are awesome.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 4: Fruits of Labor**

**By: WrittinInStone**

Anakin floated through the blue light, allowing it to carry him where it would. As he drifted, he reflected on the kiss that he and Padmé had shared. Kissing her had been as good as he remembered in life; passion had ripped through his body and rejuvenated his soul. He was dead but he didn't feel dead. He felt alive, more alive than he had felt in twenty-three years.

Anakin pulled his thoughts away from his wife as he began to slow down. He smiled as he realized he experienced no anxiety at what he would face, nothing could hurt him now; he had Padmé. As the blue light faded, Anakin realized that he was in what looked like a city. _It's Cloud City_, Anakin thought as he stopped, amazed at what he saw. The people were _celebrating_; they were behaving as though they had lost their minds. It looked as though the entire city was in the streets, dancing and singing and screaming _freedom_. Anakin's forehead crinkled in consternation as he was transported to Tatooine, then to Naboo, and then to Coruscant.

Every city was so different in their cultures, so different in their values, yet on this day, they were all the same. They all sang, they all danced and they all celebrated their liberation from the Empire.

Anakin watched, his heart in turmoil, as the Galaxy rejoiced at the fall of the institution that he himself had helped to establish. He had believed the Emperor's lies so long ago, had _wanted_ to believe them, had thought that he would bring peace to the Galaxy by destroying the Jedi and the Separatists. But how could that be when so many celebrated his death, celebrated the Emperor's death?

Anakin let out a deep breath as he remembered that it was he who had destroyed the Emperor. Did that mean that the Galaxy was unknowingly celebrating him? Did the Galaxy know that it had been him, Anakin Skywalker formerly known as Darth Vader, who had destroyed Darth Sidious's evil?

Anakin tried to calm his chaotic emotions as he felt himself being pulled to yet another place. Anakin gazed at his surroundings as he arrived. This place was different; it had no technology and seemed to be dense with trees. _It's Endor_, Anakin realized, _it's the forest moon of Endor_. Anakin tensed as he felt himself being let down gently. He moved his body and realized that he was in control. It was now his choice to continue or not.

Anakin hesitated and then moved forward as the blue light began to fade completely. Suddenly Anakin paused, a cold chill running down his body. He felt something, a presence he had not felt in many, many years. "Yoda," Anakin whispered. He stopped as he immediately picked up on another presence. "Obi-Wan." They were here; they were in this place.

Anakin looked back in the direction he had come; he could leave now and if he was in the Gray, it was possible that they would never know that he had been here. He could go back to Padmé, continue his journey on the River of Scars and not face neither Yoda nor Obi-Wan. But he was a Jedi; he knew he was better than that. He had not been a coward in life, and he would not be one now in death.

Taking a death breath, Anakin stepped out of the blue light. The presence of Yoda and Obi-Wan strengthened immediately, and he glanced at the two Jedi as he appeared next to them. Anakin smiled at them tentatively, noticing the knowing smile that passed between Yoda and Obi-Wan. Anakin felt himself relax as they returned his smile; they obviously knew what he had done, and they were pleased. He knew that it would take more than defeating the Emperor to make things right between himself and the Jedi Masters, but for this moment, it was enough. More at ease, Anakin turned his attention to the celebration before him.

_Luke_, Anakin thought, a cascade of emotion building within him, _it's my son_. Luke was leaning against a tree, looking directly at him, smiling, as though even in this young form, he knew who his father was. Anakin returned Luke's smile, his heart full of pride. _He did it_, Anakin thought, _he did what I was unable to do; he resisted the Dark Side_. Anakin watched as Leia, his daughter, went to Luke and pulled him close, smiling into his face.

Luke glanced once more at the three of them before allowing his sister to pull him back to the celebration. Anakin head lifted slightly as he watched the people celebrate. He recognized people he had interacted with while alive. Han Solo, the smuggler whom he had tortured, Lando Calrissian, whom he had blackmailed in an attempt to capture his son, and even his daughter, whom he had tortured by using a mind probe on her; a procedure that was known for its pain and brutality.

Anakin's joy faded as his sorrow returned. He had done so much wrong to people who had not deserved it, even to his own children. He had helped to bring this revolution to pass, but only in his need to save his son. As he watched the smiles, the dancing, the joy, Anakin's sorrow increased. He did not belong here; this joy belonged to the ones who had truly worked to end it, not to him.

Turning away from the celebration, Anakin closed his eyes and allowed himself to fade away. He opened them as he found himself once again in the blue light, being taken back to the River.

"Anakin! Anakin, wait!"

Anakin turned at the sound of his name and there stood Obi-Wan, smiling at him.

"Obi-Wan." Anakin paused, unsure of what to say. What could he say to the man that he had killed?

"Anakin." Obi-Wan said with a warm smile.

Anakin's stomach clenched. Obi-Wan looked so happy standing there, repeating his name, as though merely saying the name 'Anakin' confirmed that his Jedi friend was alive once more.

Anakin looked his old Master in the face. "Hello, Obi-Wan."

"Hello." Obi-Wan hesitated and then continued, "I…I would very much like to speak with you, Anakin."

Anakin turned his back to Obi-Wan, his head moving slightly to the left. "Now is not the time for us to speak, Obi-Wan, but I suspect the time for doing so will be upon us soon."

"Very well." Obi-Wan paused, "It was very, very good seeing you again, my old friend. Very good indeed."

A lump in his throat, Anakin nodded. He started back to the River of Scars without speaking again, feeling Obi-Wan's presence fading as he walked further away from Endor. Was there something in the water here? How could Obi-Wan be so happy to see him?

Anakin suspected the answer as to why they were so willing to forgive him. Obi-Wan thought that 'Anakin Skywalker' was back now that he had fulfilled the prophecy and destroyed the Sith. But Anakin knew that Darth Vader was still there, lingering just below the surface. Darth Vader had always been a part of him, had always been present in his heart. Vader had first appeared on Tatooine when his mother had been killed. After he had slaughtered the village of the Sand People, Darth Vader had rested until Anakin had needed him once more to destroy the Jedi. Now, his loved ones were so happy to see him because they were so sure that he was different, so ready to forgive him his sins because they thought that Anakin had returned to them; yet he alone knew the horrible truth. He was not different at all, he was the same; Vader was still alive and well in the darkness of his heart.

Anakin sighed as he finally reached the door through whence he had come. He was glad he was there; it suddenly felt like coming home because he knew that Padmé was there; she would soothe the ache in his soul. As Anakin stepped into the boat, fear stuttered through his heart; Padmé was not there.

"Padmé!" Anakin yelled, looking around frantically, his voice echoing off the water. But there was nothing but gray, nothing but an endless stretch of still water.

"Padmé!" Anakin screamed feeling as though his heart would explode, "Padmé where are you?"

Silence answered him. Anakin sat down helplessly as anger began to rise. "No," he whispered, "this can't be happening." Where was Padmé? She had said that she would be here, she had promised.

Anakin took calming breaths as he felt a familiar darkness rise within his heart. "No!" He said aloud, "No. I will not allow you entrance again, Vader. I will not."

Anakin jerked as the boat began to move forward. "Wait, no, we can't leave yet! We must wait for Padmé!" His cries went unheeded as the boat continued to move forward.

Anakin sat down heavily and wrapped his arms around himself as he began to give in despair. "Padmé," he gasped, pain radiating through his body. "Oh, Padmé, where are you?"

He sat like that for what seemed like hours as the boat moved. When it finally stopped, Anakin sat motionless for a moment longer before standing. He did not care where he was, or what was before him. All he cared about was the fact that Padmé had been taken away from him.

Without any preamble, Anakin entered the light. He walked until the blue light faded, unafraid of where it would lead. Anakin's curiosity piqued for a moment and then disappeared when he saw that he was on Naboo. He closed his eyes and cleared his mind of all thoughts, willing his pain to go away as he allowed the light to guide him. When he was placed gently on the ground, he opened his eyes to see where he was. He was at the Lake House, where he and Padmé had been married.

His eyes widened as he suddenly felt the presence he had so desperately been seeking. "Padmé!" He yelled. He quickly ran toward the presence. "Padmé." He said with a huge sigh of relief. She sat on a bench, facing away from him, much as she had been the first time he had seen her in the Gray.

"Padmé," Anakin said in concern, "Why did you leave, why didn't you answer me when I called for you? I was worried." His voice was raw with relief; he had found her; she was safe.

Anakin frowned when Padmé did not answer. "Padmé? What's wrong?"

He moved in front of her, and then froze at what he saw. Padmé's gaze was turned down and she was staring at what was in her hands. She was holding what looked to be a HoloNet news pod; but instead of playing any type of news, it was playing his life, showing her the things he had done as Vader; to the citizens of the former Republic, to their children.

"Padmé." Anakin began, fear abounding in his heart whilst wondering how she had gotten there and whohad given her such a device, "I can explain."

Finally, Padmé looked up to face him and he could tell that she had been crying. The knowledge was like a punch to the stomach. Her red eyes gleamed with fury as she spoke. "You can explain? You can explain why you tortured our daughter and why you cut off our son's arm? You can explain that?"

"Padmé, please." Anakin begged, "I…I don't know what you want me to say. I can't…I can't give you what you want."

"I think I know that, Anakin." Padmé said quietly, "Just answer me this, how could you?"

"Padmé, I love you so much." Anakin said desperately, avoiding her question. He closed his eyes, praying to the Force with all his heart that this was a bad dream, "I need you, Padmé, you have no idea how much I need you. I lov—"

"How, Anakin?" She said, her voice rising as she stood to her feet. "How could you _do_ these things?"

"I…" Anakin couldn't continue because he could give her no reason that would ease her pain. If he told her that he had shown their son mercy, she would laugh at him. He could tell her that it had been Darth Vader and not Anakin Skywalker who had done those things, but he would not lie to her. It _had_ been Anakin Skywalker; Anakin had been there all along.

How could he tell Padmé that not only had he tried to turn Luke to the Dark Side, but had threatened to turn his daughter to the Dark Side as well? And of his own volition too? She would despise him and he would be forced to watch the love fade from her eyes. He knew that watching her love die would destroy him far worse than the fires of Mustafar, it would hurt worse than the Force-lightning of the Emperor; it would destroy his soul. So Anakin said nothing, feeling as though he were moments away from being pushed over the edge of a cliff and falling into oblivion.

Padmé stared at him, her tear-filled eyes beseeching him for an answer, any answer that would redeem him in her eyes. And as Anakin saw the hope die in their depths, he felt it die in his heart.

End of Chapter 4: I hoped you guys liked this, if you did, please review.

**5****th**** Chapter: Soul's Scars**: Padmé confronts Anakin.


	5. Soul's Scars

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received. It's really encouraging to know that readers enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! You are amazing.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 5: Soul's Scars**

**By: WrittinInStone**

"I was in the boat, waiting for you after you left." Padmé told Anakin quietly, "I found myself dozing and when woke, I was here. Then I saw this HoloNet tablet sitting here on this bench and I was surprised and confused. I wondered at it because what good is the HoloNet here? It truly didn't make any sense. But after I saw what it was playing, I realized why I was here."

Padmé took the tablet into her hand and then with a shriek, she threw it into the waters of the lake. When she turned to Anakin, her lips trembled and tears poured down her face.

"I watched that tablet, Anakin. I watched it until I could not take it anymore. And as I did, I realized the horrible truth; this, the Empire, the Jedi purge, all of it is _my _fault."

"What? Padmé—," Anakin began, his heart squeezing in his chest at the agony in her voice, "Why would you think—?"

"No!" Padmé shouted, shaking her head, "It's my turn to talk now! I listened to you the whole time that I was alive! I believed your lies that everything would be okay; I believed it when you told me that you loved me, when you told me that I was in your soul. But you Force-choked me while I was pregnant with your children! You implied that I was unfaithful to you, that I had chosen Obi-Wan, that I had brought him to Mustafar to kill you. You believed the Sith's lies over my words."

She turned away from him, her heart breaking in her chest just like it had when she had died. Yet now it was worse because she had to endure the pain; there was no death after death and she suddenly wished that there were; that she could sink into sweet nothingness; the peace of not existing.

"It was after I saw those things on that tablet that I realized I was the problem." Padmé murmured, turning to stare out at the sea, "I knew that Jedi weren't supposed to have attachments, but I married you anyway. I knew that you were capable of killing children because of what happened on Tatooine, but I ignored it. I knew that you had a terrible darkness in you, but I thought that my love could erase it. I was wrong, Force-take-it, I was so wrong. My love was not enough; _I_ was not enough."

"Stop it!" Anakin growled advancing on her as anger built within him at her words, "I turned to the Dark Side to save your life! And it would have worked if I had not killed you! The Dark Side would have saved you from dying in childbirth, don't you understand? I couldn't lose you! I just couldn't! I did it all for you, Padmé, all of it!"

Padmé laughed, it was a humorless sound, void of mirth. "You didn't do it for me, Anakin. You once told me that you weren't the Jedi that you should be. You told me that you wanted more and I realize now that I was just the means that you used to get it."

Anakin sucked in air at her pronouncement, feeling as though he had just been stabbed in the heart. In a trembling voice, Anakin stated softly, "Do you really believe that, Padmé? Do you really believe that I used you? That I didn't love you with all of my heart?"

Padmé quivered at the pain in his voice and knew that she had hurt him deeply. She looked away, but then after a long moment of silence, she shook her head and said softly, "No, Anakin, I don't believe that."

Silence fell upon them like a heavy blanket. They refused to look at one another, neither of them wanting to be the first to speak. Yet they both knew that this confrontation had been inevitable; they both knew that their pain, that their _soul's scars_ could not be healed, that their _relationship_ could not be healed until this happened, until all that had been dark came to light.

"Anakin," Padmé spoke finally, "Do you know how I died?"

"The Emperor told me that…I killed you…in my anger." The words were spoken softly, as though they were hard to get out. "I killed you before you could die in childbirth."

"Anakin," Padmé let out a deep sigh and shook her head. "Physically, I was perfectly healthy when I died, and as far as I am able to tell, I would not have died in childbirth."

Anakin shook his head, denying the implication of her claim. "That…that cannot be possible. You would have died in childbirth, I saw it."

Padmé turned to gaze into Anakin's eyes, unwilling to let him believe the lies any longer, "Do you really want to know how I died?"

Anakin shook his head, turning away from her, suddenly afraid at what she would reveal. "Please stop this Padmé, I don't want to hear this anymore."

"The Emperor was right, Anakin. You did kill me in your anger, you killed me when you destroyed my husband." Padmé told him softly. "When you became Darth Vader, you murdered Anakin Skywalker. He was my heart, my soul, my reason for living. I don't think you ever realized just how much I loved you; I think you always thought that you loved me more." Padmé shook her head sadly, "That could not be further from the truth. When you did what you did to me. When you…choked me on Mustafar, I realized that my Ani was truly gone."

Padmé turned to stare at the water once again, "I could not go on. I was so destroyed, so devastated that even though my body was perfectly healthy, my spirit was broken. You managed to do in one day, what a whole lifetime of public service could not do; you shattered me."

"After your battle with Obi-Wan, he took me to a medical station where I had Luke and Leia. I died moments after giving birth to them." Padmé turned to him as once more, tears streamed down her cheeks, "I left my children, Anakin. I was so devastated by your loss that I left them to be raised by strangers because I could not bear life without you. You have no idea how much I hate myself for that. You have no idea how much I hate myself for breaking the rules and falling in love with you, for not telling the Jedi about what you did on Tatooine so that you could have received help. I hate myself for marrying you, for giving you a reason to go to the Dark Side." Padmé paused to look away from Anakin. "But do you know what I hate the most?"

"Me?" Anakin whispered. He hoped that this was the totality of his journey, it had to be, because nothing could compare to what he was feeling at this moment. Did she truly regret those things that had made his life worth living?

Padmé's voice dropped to a whisper, "Most of all, I hate myself because I still love you with every fiber of my being. I watched that tablet, I saw how you tortured those people, how you maimed our children, I saw how you killed officers on that Star Destroyer, I even saw that horrible suit that you wore to keep you alive after Mustafar and I still could not help but adore you."

"It was then that I realized that _I_ am the monster. How could I love someone who would do these things? How could I accept everything that you have done? How could I love you even though a horrible darkness lives inside of you?"

"Padmé," Anakin said softly, pain in his voice, but an inexplicable, indescribable feeling of relief and joy in spirit. His heart was heavy and yet his spirit was light due to the words she had spoken. He heard the torment in her voice, the self-loathing and knew it was because she could not stop loving him. But he would ease her pain; he would fix what he had broken. So he called to her so that he could make her whole again. "Padmé, come to me."

"I can't…I just—" Padmé' said brokenly as she began to sob large, body shaking cries. "I just can't…"

Padmé cried out as Anakin pulled her into his arms and covered her lips with his. He grabbed her face as he devoured her, tasting the rich nectar of her mouth.

Her sobs became muffled in his mouth as she clung to him. Starting from her elbows, Anakin slowly ran his hands up her shoulders and began to peel off her clothes. She sighed in blissful sorrow as her dress dropped to the ground. She fumbled with his shirt until finally, it was off. Her mouth returned to his as the rest of the clothes were pushed off.

Anakin pulled away from her to look into her eyes. "I know that I hurt you, Padmé. I know that I did, but I will never hurt you again; I will never be Vader again. I promise."

Biting her lip as her body quivered from her silent sobs, she nodded. Filled with a love so intense for her, that he became dizzy, Anakin closed his eyes as he once again invaded her mouth. He knew why Padmé had been his first test, his first stop on his redemptive journey. Out of everyone that he had ever hurt; he had hurt Padmé the worst. Physical pain had not killed her, his lightsaber had not sliced her down; love had killed her. Her love for him had been her undoing.

Anakin knew that killing something so pure as her love, so pure as her devotion made his crime toward her unforgiveable. Yet not only did she forgive him, but she accepted his darkness; she accepted Darth Vader. For that alone, he knew he was Chosen. Not because of the Sith, not because of the Jedi, but because out of everyone in the Galaxy, it had been him, Anakin Skywalker, who was selected to be the recipient of Padmé's perfect love.

"Ani, please. Please, Ani," Padmé gasped.

Anakin lowered her gently to the ground, placing his body between her thighs, making his home there. He took her face into his hands and stared into her eyes. She mimicked his action, taking his face into her hands. "We are going to be together for all eternity, Padmé." He spoke to her softly. "I will make amends for all that I have done. I will do it for you, I will do it for me, I will do it for us. Please trust me. I will not fail you again."

She closed her eyes as another sob ripped through her body. Anakin lowered his lips and lovingly and with great care, traced her collarbone. She gasped as his ministrations lowered and he began the task of tasting her body. They had made love countless times in their lives for both Anakin and Padmé were highly sensual beings. But this time was different; this was a meshing of souls, a combining of two existences into one.

_He did wrong, he did so much wrong,_ Padmé thought as she buried her head into his shoulder, _but I love him, I love him so much. I don't care what he did, I just want to be with him forever._

And as her husband took her over and over again in this small fragment of the afterlife, her cries of ecstasy echoed off of the stone and into the beautiful evening skies of the Lake House.

End of Chapter 5: If you guys liked this, review it. _Writers on this site are paid only by the reviews of the readers._

**6****th**** Chapter: Sand**: Anakin visits a familiar place.


	6. Sand

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader TACAitsH. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! You are awesome.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 6: Sand**

**By: WrittinInStone**

"Anakin, stop! This is inappropriate!"

"Really? Do you think so?"

"Yes, Ani! What if someone sees?"

"How is anyone going to see us? We're alone and surrounded by miles and miles of endless freaky gray water."

"Yes, I know, but it still seems sacrilege to do…_this_ in a place like this!"

"Hmm, do you _really_ want me to stop?"

"Uhh…y...yes?"

"Really? You don't _sound_ like you want me to stop…"

"I…I do. I want you to….ohhh…."

Padmé Skywalker closed her eyes as her husband's tongue continued to stroke her neck. Anakin smirked at the look of ecstasy on her face and delved his hand deep until he had reached below her dress and began his assault on the sensitive area between her thighs. Padmé's eyes widened at Anakin's hand movements; his quick, sharp thrusts into the core of her femininity were stealing her breath and making it hard to think.

"Anakin, oh Force, Anakin!" Padmé cried as she exploded into pieces around his hand, her screams of passion echoing loudly off of the gray waters.

Anakin removed his hand from her center and licked the evidence of his work. His smirk of male satisfaction made Padmé want to hit him, so she did.

If nothing else, Anakin's grin widened at her abuse. "What was that for, my love?"

"Don't 'my love me'!" Padmé said crossly. "I hope you're happy with yourself. Now the whole afterlife is going to think I'm a slut!"

"Oh, really? Why is that?"

Padmé bit her lip, knowing that anything she said about his sexual prowess would make his head swell even more. Suddenly, she smiled and said, "Because they're going to know I'm faking screams like that! Only people who are getting paid make sounds like that, my love." She said, smiling sweetly at him.

The look on Anakin's face at her words was priceless. Padmé laughed and threw her arms around him, once more fervently thanking the Force that he was with her again. Her eyes softened and the laughter turned to seriousness as she gazed upon his beautiful face, reflecting on how close she'd been to losing him forever.

Scowling and ready to combat Padmé's words, Anakin turned to her. Upon seeing the seriousness in her face and the love shining in her eyes, Anakin's comeback died in his throat. He leaned forward and kissed her, closing his eyes and savoring the feel of her in his arms. He broke away and then kissed her again, softly, like a whisper. Anakin gently nuzzled below her chin, in the crook of her neck. She closed her eyes and tightened her arms around him.

"Ani." The word was a sigh of contentment, of utter peace and happiness.

He smiled into her neck, but simply continued his gentle assault on her senses, reveling in the fact that he was with her. It was almost surreal to him; after being without her light for so long, he could now glorify in it, bathe his very soul in it. Anakin wondered if the Powers-That-Be understood that by giving Padmé to him, they had given him everything that he could possible want in the afterlife. What need did he have for redemption when his soul had already been returned to him?

Anakin pushed the dark thought aside, knowing that they were echoes of Vader. As much as he loved Padmé, he had hurt more than just her. There were so many that had fallen to his lightsaber, so many who had died just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had to make amends, _Anakin_ had to make amends for what his Darth Vader had done. _You won't win this time, Vader_. Anakin thought to the darkness within himself. _I will face utter and complete destruction before I allow you to ruin my life again. I know that in your own twisted way, you love Padmé, but know this; she could never love you. She could never love someone who would merciless kill children, who would annhilate a whole planet full of people. You could never love her the way that she deserves. You are incapable of it; the Sith are incapable of it. So if you love her, you will leave me. You will allow Anakin Skywalker to love her._

Anakin took a deep breath as he felt the darkness slowly recede. Padmé noticed the motion and looked down at him, a question in her eyes. He shook his head with a smile, telling her without words that all was okay. She smiled back at him and, after a moment of readjusting, laid her head back on his chest, her sigh of contentment flowing through her.

Anakin squinted as light began to appear ahead. "Padmé, look, light."

Padmé turned around and sat next to Anakin. She leaned into him and hugged his arm, taking his hand. "Do you think we'll be allowed to go together this time?"

"I don't know," he spoke softly, "I hope so."

Unconsciously, they braced themselves as the boat neared the light. But instead of stopping, the boat continued through. They both breathed a sigh of relief. At least for now, it seemed as though they would be allowed to remain together.

Suddenly, Padmé's eyes widened. "Ani! Your hair!"

Frowning, Anakin touched his hair. Whereas it had been long before, like in his days as a Jedi knight, his haircut was now that of a Padawan. He marveled as he touched his Padawan braid.

He looked at Padmé and laughed. "Look at you, your Highness!"

"What?" Padmé looked down at herself. No longer did she wear the brown dress that had been her only garment. Now she was dressed in a fine gray outfit, identical to the one she had worn that fateful day on Tatooine when they had gone to see Anakin's mother.

"Ugh," Padmé said distastefully, "I really like this outfit, but this huge cloak looks like a horrible gray tent."

Anakin shook his head and laughed at her rare feminine moment. He held her close as the blue light faded and sand began to whirl around them. Suddenly, they were dropped from the boat. Immediately Anakin reached out with the Force to slow their fall.

When they touched the ground, Padmé turned to look at Anakin with wide eyes. "I didn't know you could use the Force when you're dead."

"Neither did I," Anakin said grimly as he looked around himself. It was disturbing that he could use the Force, did it mean that they would need protection in this place? "We're on Tatooine, Padmé. We're in this Force forsaken desert hell."

Padmé looked around curiously. "Well, I guess we should start walking. I know we can't die again, but being forever thirsty doesn't sound too pleasant either."

Nodding his agreement, Anakin took Padmé's hand as they ventured forth.

As they walked, Padmé was pensive in her silence; she had many questions about the things they had seen thus far in the Gray. "Ani, I never thought that death would be like this."

"Like what?" Anakin asked, squinting at the sun.

"Well, like _this_. It's like everything is the same as when you're alive, except you can't die again. The Galaxy in the afterlife seems to be the same as the Galaxy in life."

Anakin shook his head. "I've thought about that a lot, as well. I don't think this is the real afterlife."

Padmé frowned. "Not the real afterlife? What do you mean?"

"Well, we're in the Gray, right? I think that things are different here. So far I've been to places that were of great significance to me. It's brilliant, actually, I mean, what better way to make someone suffer than to take them to the scene of the crime?" Anakin said the last part a bit bitterly.

Padmé paused and touched his arm, disturbed by his tone. "What's wrong, Ani."

Anakin looked away from her. "Padmé, I have lived in hell since I turned to the Dark Side, since I betrayed you and the Jedi. The constant physical pain that I endured in that wretched breaking suit, alone, constantly pushed me to the edge of sanity. It was a never ending battle not to strike out at any and everyone who passed. As you saw in the HoloTablet, I failed often. And now…?" Anakin shook his head, closing his eyes, "Now I have to relive the very moments that I have spent my whole life reliving. Now I have been damned not once, but _twice_. I've already traveled a River of Scars, Padmé. I've traveled it every day since I lost you."

Moved, but not sure what to say, Padmé did the only thing she could. She went to him and slowly turned him until he was facing her. He still refused to meet her gaze, as though uncertain as to how she would react to his pronouncement. She took his face in her hands and slowly, deliberately, brought his face down to kiss him. He did not respond at first, but then his mouth began to move over hers.

He shook his head as she suddenly and fiercely began to strip him. "Padmé—"he started breathlessly, trying to focus, "we can't…not on the san—"

"I know you hate sand, Ani." She interrupted as she pulled his shirt and pants off and laid them on the ground as though the items were a blanket. She quickly laid her clothing on the ground as well, creating a comfortable blanket on which to…engage him. "It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere."

He inhaled sharply as she placed her mouth on his chest. Her gentle sucking motions caused his body to harden, forcing away his worries, his pain.

"But not like you," Padmé whispered against his skin, her lips brushing his taunt stomach, "you're everything tight, and beautiful, and smooth…"

"I don't remember saying all of that," Anakin gasped as his ability to think quickly deteriorated.

"You described me," Padmé murmured, continuing to go lower on his body, "And I described you."

Anakin's eyes closed as he was swept away by bliss. And soon, the only sound in the desert was that of fulfilled desire.

#*#*#*#*#

"Do you think they heard us?" Padmé said worriedly as they continued to…nowhere.

Anakin could not help but laugh. "Did who hear us, my heart? There's no one here!"

"I know…but…." Padmé bit her lip as though contemplating the overwhelming embarrassment that would accompany someone hearing them.

"I promise you, Senator," he said smiling, "No one heard us."

Anakin had to bite back the smile at the unconvinced look on her face. She was so precious to him, so perfect. It was amazing how she could be incredibly sexy and bold one moment, but so shy and conservative the next. _As long as she's only sexy and bold with me, I can handle the shy and conservative Padmé_. _Actually, I think I'm in love with both of them_. Anakin thought, smiling down warmly at his wife.

Padmé returned his smile. Suddenly, she squinted and then she grabbed him tightly as fear overcame her. "Ani, that's a village of Sand People."

Anakin cupped his hands over his eyes and peered in the direction that Padmé nodded toward. "You're right," Anakin said, finally, "It's a village of Sand People…" Anakin hesitated as though reluctant to say the rest "…it's the village of Sand People that I destroyed."

Padmé's eyes widened slightly as she digested Anakin's revelation. "I think that's where we're supposed to go, Anakin."

"Yes." Anakin said, "I think you're right."

As they approached the village, Anakin tensed when he heard the braying sounds of the Sand People. Then he heard a scream of fright, terror and agony. He stood stone still as he watched a group of Sand Men pull a human woman toward their village.

"That's….that's…" Anakin could hardly speak as he watched one of the Sand Men slap her, "That's Shmi, that's my mother."

Padmé watched in horror as the other Sand Men began to pummel her as well. Satisfied that they had ended her screaming, they took her up and quickly carried her into the village.

"Anakin," suddenly afraid, Padmé turned to her husband. What she saw validated her fear. The look on his face sent chills down her spine. Refusing to allow this _disconnect_ to happen again, Padmé grabbed Anakin's arm.

"Ani," she began, "Anakin. Look at me. Look at me, now."

When he turned to look at her, Anakin was not there; she looked into the face of Darth Vader.

End of Chapter 6: If you guys liked this, review it. _Writers on this site are paid only by the reviews of the readers._

**7****th**** Chapter: Crimson Tears**: Anakin is faced with the consequences of his actions.


	7. Crimson Tears

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta reader Young at Heart21and TACAitsH . Thank you for all of your support! You guys are TRULY amazing. =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 7: Crimson Tears**

**By: WrittinInStone**

"Stop! No!" Anger filled Padmé at the yellow tinge in her husband's eyes. "You are not going to do this Anakin! Not again!" As she yelled at him, she pushed him in the chest, forcing him back. "Look at me, Anakin. Look at me now!"

He tore his eyes from the village of Sand people and silently turned to look at his wife.

"I want my husband back. Come back to me, _now_, Anakin! You will _not_ do this to me again!" She cried, attempting to shake his large frame. She bit her lip as tears sprang to her eyes and she began to tremble. "Please, Anakin." She whispered, gazing pleadingly into his eyes, "_Please_ fight your anger. Do not let your rage control you anymore. You are better than this!"

Anakin stood silent as he watched his wife. He saw the tears in her eyes, the distress that she was in, and suddenly, his anger evaporated and was immediately replaced by sorrow. He pulled her into a crushing hug. She tensed for a moment before she relaxed in his grip, holding him tightly against her.

"Please, Ani," she sobbed quietly, "Please don't leave me again." She buried her head into his chest, attempting to hide from the light, and from the sand; she simply wanted to be one with him, to merge with him so that he could never leave her.

"I'm so sorry, Padmé," he whispered finally, "So sorry for everything."

"Don't be, my love." She murmured against his robes, "It is not wrong to be angry, but it is wrong to strike out in rage. Anyone would have been angry if what happened to your mother happened to their loved one. To be angry is to be human."

She lifted her head from his robes and gently cradled his face. "We will not go to that place until you are ready," she said calmly, steadily. "We will stay here as long as you need."

Anakin turned to look at the village, and finally nodded. He sighed deeply and sat down in the sand, turning to stare at the microscopic pebbles that made up the beige particles. He wanted to help his mom but…what if he failed again, like before? He would not be able to bear it. Besides, this was the Gray. It was probably an illusion, she was in Paradise right now, enjoying her afterlife…

Padmé settled down next to Anakin and leaned into him, silently offering him her support.

"This was it." Anakin said, staring over the seemingly endless hills of sand. "This is where my journey to the Dark Side began."

Padmé said nothing as she continued to lie on him, refusing to reject him, yet wanting him to relieve the burden that was on his heart.

"I had dreams of her for a month before she died. I dreamt of her pain, I saw what the Sand People did to her," he continued quietly. "I begged Obi-Wan to let me go. But neither he nor the Council would hear of it. They told me to let go that which I feared to lose. They said that about my _mother_!" Anakin paused in grief as the memories of that time overwhelmed him.

Padmé closed her eyes as her husband fell silent. She curled tighter into him as the wind began to blow the sand all around them. She sighed as he wrapped his arms around her to shield her from the blowing sand.

"I blamed them. I blamed them all; Obi-Wan, the Council, the Jedi Order in general. To me, it was all their fault for what happened to my mother. They should have let me go to her, but they didn't; they didn't let me help my own mother."

Anakin gently disengaged himself from his wife, and as he stood he turned and walked a feet toward the village. "But the simple truth is," he spoke quietly, "It was _my_ fault that she died. I could have ignored their orders, I could have done what I felt was right, but I did not. I followed the orders of the Jedi like I was a slave who was unable to follow my own heart."

He paused for a moment and shook his head. Then he took a deep breath and continued. "I did not want to disobey the Council because I loved being a Jedi, I_ wanted_ to be a Jedi. I sometimes wonder if I chose the Jedi over my own mother." He stopped speaking and went silent as he finally voiced the agonizing thought that had plagued him since her death.

"I would have been kicked out at the worst, chastised at the least, either way, I would have had my mother. It was as though I was a slave to my own desire, my own need to _be_ somebody and my mom paid the price. As I look back on my life, I realize that I have always been a slave. When I was a child, I was a slave to Gadrulla the Hutt, and then to Watto. As I got older, I became enslaved to the Jedi, then to Palpatine, and always, always a slave to my own rage."

"I let her die, Padmé." He turned to her, and she could see the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes. "_I_ let her die. I knew what she was going through, I saw everything in my visions, in my dreams, and yet _I_ allowed people to keep me from saving her. The truth is, I killed the Sand People because of my own guilt. I blamed Obi-Wan too, because I knew that if I was honest with myself, I would have to admit that it was my fault."

Anakin sat down once again, facing away from the village, from his wife. "I failed her Padmé," Anakin whispered. "I failed my mother and I failed myself."

Padmé stood helplessly as she watched the anguish wash over his face. She went to him and held him, just held him until he fell into a fitful slumber.

#*#*#*#*#

"I'm ready, Padmé." He said softly.

She nodded. They had sat there for hours, and she had taken the time to gaze upon him as he slept. It was amazing how perfect he was in feature. His nose, his mouth, even his eyebrows were all flawlessly set in an extraordinarily pleasing fashion.

_I know I am insane_, Padmé thought with humor, _if I think his _eyebrows_ are sexy_. As Anakin slept, Padmé noticed that night did not fall. She attributed it to being in the Gray. There also seemed to be no movement from the village of Sand People since Shmi had been taken there.

Anakin stood up and reached down to take her hand. Padmé was both relieved and tense at the prospect of moving forward. But she knew that they could not complete their journey until Anakin finished this task.

Padmé took Anakin's hand as they walked toward the village. They tensed as they heard the braying sound of the villagers. She looked up to see his face, but it was stoic, expressionless.

Padmé bit her lip as they reached the village and Anakin slowly moved in front of her as they entered. When they were seen, every Sand Person in the village stopped. It was…_eerie_. Anakin tensed, prepared to defend Padmé by any means necessary. But the villagers did not move. Then suddenly, as one, they all pointed toward a tent.

Anakin became like stone as a fissure of fear went through him. It was the tent that he had found his mother in. He would never forget how it looked, how he had burned a hole in it with his lightsaber, how he had come out of it a completely different person. Shmi was in there; he could sense her presence.

He looked down as Padmé squeezed his hand, her eyes also full of apprehension. He took a deep breath and they walked, as directed, to the tent.

He did not stop when they reached the entrance, but pushed ahead, calling on the Jedi calming techniques to soothe his raging emotions. _Control_, Anakin thought to himself, _I must have control_.

His good intentions fled at what he beheld in front of him. He barely registered Padmé's gasp as the all too familiar rage began to overcome him.

His mother was in the center of the room, tied up. They were…._beating_ her…._violating_ her…._hurting_ her.

Anakin watched in horror as Shmi cried out in pain. Her face was swollen, her eyes were almost closed shut from the wounds on her face and her flesh looked as though it had been stripped from her bones. Her breathing was ragged, she looked as though she no longer had the strength to verbalize her agony.

Anakin stood there, frozen, as he watched the torture of his mother. Before he could react, before he could call on the Force to smite everything and everyone in that accursed village, once again, everything stopped. The Sand People ceased their torture, the rustling of the moving villagers outside stopped, even the animals seemed to quiet.

Then something extraordinary happened. Shmi jerked as though woken from a deep sleep. She looked around in confusion as the bounds fell from her hands. Her eyes surveyed the room calmly until they fell on Anakin.

She paused. Anakin breathed. Padmé sighed.

"Ani?" Shmi breathed her son's name. "Ani?"

Anakin tried to smile at her, but her torment was too fresh in his mind. The rage was too near; Vader was too close.

"Hi, Mom," He answered brokenly. "I…"

Anakin stopped as he could not continue. He looked away from her. He did not understand why she was in this place. Why was she not in Paradise? Why was she not bathed in sunlight and soothed by the lyrical sound of cool springs?

"Oh, my son! You're so handsome!" Shmi stood and limped slowly as she went to her son. She touched his face, and even with distorted features and a broken body, she shined.

With a choked sob Anakin pulled his mother into his arms, careful not to crush her as he clung to her. "I missed you Mom," he moaned. "I missed you so much!"

He buried his face into her neck; she smelled of warm bread, she smelled like home. Anakin inhaled at the storm of memories her smell elicited. Peace, acceptance, _love._

When he finally pulled away from her, Shmi's injuries were gone and they were no longer in the village of the Sand People, they were at the Lars family homestead.

Shmi simply smiled as though the change in location did not shock her. She released Anakin and stood back to look at Padmé. "I have been terribly rude! How are you Padmé? It's extraordinarily pleasing to see you again."

Padmé smiled at Shmi, her mind whirling at the happenings that were occurring. She took a deep breath and moved forward to meet her husband's beloved mother, barely able to believe that after witnessing Shmi's torture she was now exchanging pleasantries with her.

"It is good to see you again, as well, although under the circumstances…." Padmé's voice trailed off as she realized the tactlessness of her words. How had she ever become Senator speaking thusly?

Thankfully, Shmi seemed to take no offense. "I understand," Shmi responded graciously. "The circumstances could be better. As a matter of fact," Shmi said laughingly, "Just about any other type of circumstance would be better. But we have much to discuss! I know you both have many questions, so please, come inside."

They followed Shmi into the building. Anakin watched as his mother and his wife chatted happily as they both moved busily around the kitchen, setting up for what looked to be lunch.

Suddenly it was all too much for Anakin, "What in the seven hells is going on here!" He burst out suddenly, standing up quickly in his fury. "Mom, why are you here? What is this place? What is going _on_?"

The women quieted at Anakin's anger. Unconsciously, Padmé reached to take his hand, hoping her touch would soothe him. It did. Anakin took a deep breath as he steadied himself.

"Mom, please tell me why you are here."

Shmi hesitated, "Anakin, this was my choice. You don't have to wor—"

"Mom," he spoke quietly, a horrible feeling growing in his heart, "Why are you _here_? What did you do?"

Shmi did not say anything for a while as she continued to pull out items from the cabinet. "When I died, I…" Shmi paused and took a deep breath, "When I died Anakin, I was given the choice to go to Paradise. My place had already been set and prepared for me. But I could not go…"

Shmi sighed, "I could not go until I made sure that you would be okay without me. So, I asked a boon first. I wanted to make sure that you would be able to reach me wherever I was. I knew that my death would be hard on you, so I requested _Shainu'an_, a spirit state, which would allow me to watch over you until the point of your death."

At her words, Anakin felt cold touch his soul. His mother had been watching him? Had she seen Vader? Anakin closed his eyes as fear touched his soul.

Seeing the look on her son's face, Shmi could not look at him so she turned away and she forged ahead. "When I saw what you did to the Sand People, I…I was horrified. I understood, yet I didn't. I knew why you did it, but I did not understand _how_ you could have done it. How could my precious Anakin destroy young ones, women, the elderly? How could my son cut down everything that lived, even the animals?"

"I was devastated, and as I watched your descent to the Dark Side, I knew what I had to do." Shmi turned to her son, and there were tears in her eyes. "It was then that I made my request to the Voices of One. I asked them what would become of you. They said that you would spend eternity in the Land of Weeping and Sorrow for all the wrong that you had done. I asked if anything could be done to erase or reduce your sentence. They told me that I had the right of_ ka'tu'ra_, the right of substitution, because I am your mother. They said that I could take your place so that you would be spared."

She turned away from her son, at the agony in his face, the unrelenting pain. "So I did," Shmi whispered finally, "I agreed to take your place, Anakin. What you saw was what I have endured for the last twenty-three years in the Land of Weeping and Sorrow."

There was a heavy silence in homestead. Anakin felt sick. He choked as the world spun and nausea rose. He rested heavily against the table as his legs threatened to give way.

"But you did not go there, Ani!" Shmi hurriedly explained, turning back to him "You came here, to the Gray. You have freed me from my torment. When you entered the Gray, when you came to the Village of Sand People, you rescued me and I was able to break free from that place. I can now rest in Paradise with you, my son, as I have always wanted."

Anakin did not speak, he did not look at his mother. He did not look at Padmé. He pulled his robes closer to himself as though they would ward off the feeling in his soul. "You should go to Paradise, Mother." He murmured softly, "You deserve it."

He did not speak again. He slowly walked out of the homestead. He did not know what transpired next. He did not know how he got back onto the boat. He did not know how he got back onto the River of Scars. He was numb and he knew that this simple fact was the only thing that allowed him to move.

He sat away from Padmé, at the edge of the boat. He could not touch her, _would not_ touch her. As the boat moved forward, he turned his blank gaze to the water. He stared at his reflection, noticing that there were long dark strips running down his face. He touched his cheek, then he pulled his hand away and stared down at what was on it. Blood, it was blood; bright, red and brilliant, almost blinding him as it stood out against the sea of gray. He was crying blood.

He stared at his hands, knowing why his tears were red. There was no other color that would do justice to the haze of self-loathing in his heart. So it was quite fitting, this color that symbolized hate, passion, love. It was his love for his mother that spurred such passionate self-hate. It was the perfect color. _Crimson_, he thought in a fog, heavy with the knowledge that his battered soul would never heal; _my sorrow is as crimson tears_.

End of Chapter 7: If you loved it, review it. I read all reviews over and over! It only takes a moment to make an author ecstatically happy! If you don't, you're a square! =]

**8th Chapter: The Cure To Selfishness**: Padmé accuses Anakin of being selfish.


	8. The Cure To Selfishness

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Thank you for all of your support, you guys are the true reason this verse continues! You guys are TRULY amazing. =]

Note 5: I never actually gave a description of the boat…when I say boat, it is a Pontoon boat. Please Google it if you don't know what it looks like!

Note 6: Warning, this chapter is not for children. It is quite spicy. M rating.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 8: The Cure To Selfishness**

**By: WrittinInStone**

She was losing him. Padmé tried to quell her distress as she gazed upon her husband. He sat in a corner of the boat with his arms wrapped around himself. Ever since they had left Shmi Skywalker, he had not allowed her to come near him.

The revelations from Shmi had been horrific and Padmé could not begin to fathom what Anakin was going through. To find out that his beloved mother had made the ultimate sacrifice for him, had willingly allowed herself to be tortured in death as she had been in life solely due to her love for him? It was killing Anakin.

_How do I reach him?_ Padmé thought in fear._ How do I reach the man I love? Oh, Force, he is in so much pain, such terrible pain. He is dying in front of me; I can_ see _that his spirit is broken. How do I save him_?

Padmé winced as she accidentally hit the side of the boat with her foot. The noise echoed through the stillness, seeming almost blasphemous in the tense atmosphere. The heavy silence was like a dark shroud signifying the divide between Anakin and Padmé; and she hated it. She hated the silence, hated the stillness, hated the grief that she felt pouring off of Anakin in waves.

Padmé refused, absolutely _refused_ to just sit there and allow her husband to drown in his overwhelming grief, to implode. She had to help him; she _had_ to save her husband from his own sorrow and self-hatred.

Suddenly, an errant and completely wicked thought crossed Padmé's mind. She bit her lip as a plan began to form. _It's unorthodox and bordering on crazy,_ Padmé thought, with a frown_, but it could work. And if it does, it's going to be a whole lot of fun. _

She took a deep breath, stood up sharply and began to shuffle around, gathering her cloak and the rest of her things. She made a show of leaning over and testing the water with first her finger and then her foot. She made an even bigger show of pretending to leave the boat.

"Padmé," Anakin croaked, finally speaking as her antics caught his notice. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, so _now_ you've decided to speak to me? And what do you mean what am I doing?" She responded angrily. "I'm leaving, that's what I'm doing!"

Her heart thumped as Anakin turned toward her, his attention now fully on her.

"What? You're leaving? To go where?" Anakin looked around. They were still surrounded by the waters of the River.

"Anywhere but here!" Padmé said, turning to face him. "Anakin Skywalker, you are the most selfish man I have ever met!"

Anakin's expression crumpled. "I know Padmé," He whispered, looking away from her. "And I understand why you're leaving me. I don't deserve you or my mother. Both of you have suffered greatly because of me. I am so sorr— "

"Oh, stop with the pity party, Anakin!" Padmé said crossly, warming up to her role. "This is not about me coming to the Gray, or even about your mother! This is about you ignoring all the small things that I do for you!"

Padmé's heart leaped at the confusion in his face. "I'm not sure what you mean," Anakin said finally.

"Ever since we came back from Tatooine, you have not said a word to me! You didn't even notice how I changed my hair for you! I know that you are upset about your mom, but I have been over here trying to get your attention for hours and you haven't noticed a thing that I've done!" Padmé yelled at him.

She paused as comprehension dawned on his face. There was a long moment of silence. Her heart sank as she realized that he was not going to go along with her plan. She couldn't do this alone; she could only help him if he let her.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice your hair," Anakin said after a long moment. "I won't make that mistake again."

"Yes." Padmé said icily, her heart beginning to soar because he had decided to play along, "A man _would_ say that. But I want to make sure you _never_ ignore me again. If you want this relationship to work, you have to try harder to please me."

"I'll do anything Padmé," Anakin said solemnly. "What would you like me to do?"

"You'll see in just a moment. We're going to work on your behavior, right now!"

"Oh?" Anakin said, warming up to Padmé's game, a glimmer of a smile crossing his perfect lips. "And how are we going to do that?"

Padmé had to fight to prevent herself from smiling fully. She knew that Anakin was fighting his grief, fighting his sorrow, and he was doing it _for her_. She would make it worth his while. She swore to herself that she would make this the worst _and_ best day of his afterlife. With effort, she maintained her composure as she looked at him coolly. "Well, _you_ can start by taking off those robes."

Anakin's eyebrows rose, but he complied. Slowly. Padmé's mouth went dry as her husband began to leisurely peel away his robes. Her throat constricted as miles of golden flesh revealed itself under the offending cloak that masked its beauty.

When his robes were off, and he stood with nothing on but his pants, Anakin looked at his wife intensely, a familiar, leering smile on his face. "It is done, wife."

She nodded, trying to catch her breath. "The pants too," she said breathlessly, trying to maintain control of the situation.

"As you wish." Anakin slowly moved his pants down his toned legs. Padmé felt her heart pound as yet more flesh was revealed. Her tongue darted out, touching the side of her mouth. Anakin's eyes followed the movement.

"I have done as you asked, Milady." Anakin said, staring at her intensely. "I wish to make this relationship work. I hope you can help me with this…selfishness that I have displayed."

"Hmmm…" Padmé said thoughtfully, "I can see that you are willing enough, but I'm not sure how well you'd learn. I must test you," She stated briskly. "Come here. Now."

Anakin moved toward her slowly, careful not to rock the boat. The boat rocking would definitely come later, but for now, Padmé was in control.

"I am here, at your service, Milady."

"Are you?" She questioned him, sitting down and making herself comfortable in the seat. "Then show me. Service me. Now"

"As you wish, Senator." Anakin stated, leering at her. It made Padmé's heart thump in anticipation; it was so reminiscent of the look he had given her in what seemed like a lifetime ago, that day on Coruscant, when he had first been assigned to her as her Jedi protector.

He went to her and knelt down in front of her. "I will do whatever is necessary to make this relationship work."

Padmé inhaled sharply as Anakin delicately lifted the hem of her skirt, pushing it up until it was around her thighs.

"I like the way you are handling yourself so far, husband." She said thickly as he began to rub the inside of her legs with gentle caresses. "But I'm not getting any younger. Prove to me how sorry you are."

"Right away, Senator." Anakin said although his caresses did not pick up in speed. It was delicate work, pleasuring one's wife, and he would not be rushed.

He leaned down to nuzzle the sensitive area between her legs, grateful that there was no concept of underwear in the afterlife. It seemed as though there _were_ some perks to being dead.

After nuzzling her for several more moments, he plunged his tongue into her wet center. Padmé nearly came out of the boat with Anakin's abrupt, forceful invasion into her slit. She grasped the rails of the boat as Anakin licked, and sucked, and blew.

"Oh, Foooorrrccceeee…!" Padmé screamed, her eyes crossing as Anakin added his fingers and began pumping into her. She opened her legs wider to give him greater access. "Oh, Force, yeeeessss!"

"Do you like this, milady? Am I forgiven yet?" Anakin lifted his head to watch his wife's face only for her to push his face back down between her legs.

"No talking." Padmé said, panting breathlessly, "More service. Now!" She screamed shrilly. She had become crazed with power, crazed with what this man was doing to her. She wanted more of him, _now_!

She grabbed his hair to anchor herself as she began to pump her hips to the thrusting of his tongue. She arched as her husband positioned her left leg over his left shoulder, pulling her closer to his plunging tongue.

"Anakin, I'm…I'm…." Padmé's eyes closed and she screamed as she came, gushing into her husband's waiting mouth. She went limp as waves of ecstasy washed over her.

But Anakin wasn't done. Grabbing her hips, he flipped her over until her hands were on the boat rails and her sweet derriere was facing him.

Padmé held her breath in anticipation as she was lifted, turned around and then placed on her knees, leaning over the side of the boat. She was now able to see her reflection in the gray waters. This new position clearly gave Anakin control of the situation as she was prevented from pitching forward only by his strength. She loved being in control, but it was nothing like being thoroughly possessed and cared for by the man she loved.

"I'm sorry, Milday." Anakin said in grave repentance. "I am not worthy to see your face, so I must please you thusly." He leaned over until their bodies were pressed against each other. Padmé closed her eyes at the feel of his heavy, masculine body touching her from her neck to her thighs, pushing her into the plush seat of the boat. She shivered as she felt his warm breath on her ear.

She let out a gasp as he slowly entered her from behind. Her breaths became hard as he continued to move forward into her, and she exhaled when he was fully embedded in her. He nuzzled her neck and then, taking his hands off her hips, he placed them over her hands, once again pressing his body into hers. He anchored her there, not allowing her to move either her hands or her body. She bit her lip as he began to thrust into her, slowly, leisurely. She knew he was doing it to drive her insane; it was working.

"Anakin, oh Force." She gasped as he pumped into her, picking up speed. She closed her eyes as she felt every inch of him, every part of him. In a haze, she opened her eyes and caught her reflection in the river. She looked wanton; her hair was askew and her clothes were falling off of her, but her eyes were shinning.

She grasped the rails tighter as he thrust into her with added force. Padmé began to cry at the sensations assaulting her; pleasure, love, adoration, these emotions ripped through her with such strength that she thought that she would expire right there.

"Anakin. I love you." She sobbed, "I love you so much."

Anakin gritted his teeth as he plunged into his wife with all of his might. Her words of love steadied him, gave him purpose. In a sudden lunge, he gathered her in his arms and sat down on the seat, placing her carefully on his lap, yet never withdrawing from her center. She gasped, her head thrown back against his shoulder as he grabbed her hips and pushed his hips upward.

With a final strangled yell, Padmé exploded, her cream spilling over his manhood. Seconds later, he joined her, flooding her center with his release. They both slumped into each other as their strength left with the advent of their fulfillment. Anakin held her close with his left arm, and stroked her hair with his right hand.

"I don't think I can move." Padmé said, laughing breathlessly. She sounded exhausted.

Anakin said nothing; he simply continued to run his fingers through her hair. Padmé sighed and simply relaxed, reveling in the fact that Anakin was no longer apart from her. They were together again; he was no longer disconnected from her.

"Ani," Padmé said, "You are forgiven for your early selfishness—"

"Thank you," Anakin began only to be cut off by shake of her head.

"You are forgiven for your early selfishness," Padmé continued, "But only if you promise never to push me away again. I'm your wife, Anakin. Don't shut me out. I know that you are in pain, I know that you are _devastated_ about what your mother did for you, but I am here to help you. I am here to ease your pain. There's no reason for me to be here if you won't let me help you get through this journey."

She pulled away from him and turned to look into his eyes. She grabbed his face between her hands. "Ani. I see you for who you are, I always have. I see your darkness and I am not afraid. Let me love you through this pain. Let me love you through this darkness."

Anakin shook his head, overwhelmed. "I don't understand, Padmé." He said helplessly, "Why do you love me so much? I have done nothing to deserve it, _nothing_. Please tell me why. I _must_ know."

Padmé grew quiet. She slid off of his lap and took several steps away from him. "I can tell you why I love you Anakin." She spoke quietly.

"I love you because when I was alive, you loved me when you thought I was just the handmaiden to a Queen. You loved me despite my positions, even though you hated politics. You have always looked at me as if I were the only person you could see, as if I were the only woman you could ever love. I love you because you risked everything in life to be with me. I love you because you always made sure that I knew that there was nothing in life or death that was more important than I. With you I have always been able to be strong; I didn't have to change. Although I had been called the Ice Queen, you have always made me feel desirable and feminine, something I had never felt before I met you. You loved me for who I was."

She turned back to look at him; there were tears running down her face. "Anakin Skywalker, I love you because you made me laugh, you made me smile. All my worries disappeared when you held me in your arms." She paused and shook her head, at him a smile playing on her face, "I love you because you make me happy, Anakin."

"And although you have not been perfect," She continued, looking him directly in the eyes, "Although you have done wrong, you are a good person, Anakin. You love so fiercely, you are so loyal and kind and true, that it was almost as though I had no choice but to fall in love with you. Never doubt that you are good, Anakin. I saw it then and I see it now. You are so special, and agreeing to become your wife, to be bonded with you forever, is the best thing I have ever done."

Anakin couldn't speak. He just stared at her, his eyes huge. He had never realized… He had not known that he made her feel this way, that he fulfilled her so. He stood up and walked to her. She held her ground as her husband towered over her.

He grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her close. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him. Without a word, he picked her up into his arms and went back and sat in the seat of the boat. For the longest time he just held her. It was then that he realized that he was wrong. Although he was in pain, although his heart grieved, he could heal. Her patience, her…_cure to selfishness_, her love could heal him.

Anakin realized that this would be his saving grace; Padmé would be the reason he survived.

"I promise you," He spoke quietly into the silence, "I will not shut you out again."

Against his chest he could feel her nod. Silence fell once more. Padmé closed her eyes, reveling in the silence, because this time it was not heavy, it was not oppressive, it was not divisive; it was complete.

End of Chapter 8: If you loved it, review it. I read all reviews over and over! It only takes a moment to make an author ecstatically happy! If you don't, you're a square! =]

**9th Chapter: Jedi**: Anakin and Padmé meet Yoda, Mace Windu, and the Younglings.


	9. Jedi

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Thank you for all of your support, you guys are the true reason this verse continues! You guys are TRULY amazing. =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 9: Jedi**

**By: WrittinInStone**

Anakin took a deep breath as he drew on the calming techniques that he had learned as a Jedi Knight. He lifted his lightsaber just in time to block the fierce attack of the Jedi who was bent on destroying him. _Not that the Jedi in question does not have a good reason to want me obliterated_, Anakin thought as he parried the blow and turned to run. It was no good, his opponent Force-jumped in front of him, refusing to allow Anakin to end the fight.

"Now, Darth Vader," the Jedi spat, "You will pay for your crimes against the Galaxy."

Anakin mentally steadied himself, refusing to be shamed. He knew that he had done much wrong for which he needed to make amends, but he could not do that by allowing himself to be beaten down by every reminder of his wrongdoing.

Knowing that he had little choice but to fight, Anakin lifted his chin to his opponent. "Very well," he said finally, moving into Form V: 'Djem So', the lightsaber fighting form that he had used as a Jedi. "I will do what I must…Master Windu."

Anakin watched, as with cold eyes, the Jedi Master Mace Windu raised his infamous violet lightsaber into Form VII: 'Vaapad'; Master Windu's own unique form of lightsaber combat.

"You will make recompense for your actions in the Land of Weeping and Sorrow. It is the only place fit for someone like you." Mace stated coldly. "Now, perish, Vader!"

Anakin braced himself as the Jedi Master charged.

#*#*#*#*#

_***Sometime Earlier***_

"He has light brown hair, you say?" Padmé asked eagerly, scooting closer to her husband. "Did he look like you?" She had seen how her son looked on the Holotablet earlier, but it was nothing like hearing Anakin describe him.

"Luke?" Anakin replied with a smile, "Yes, he looks like me, but I can see bits of you in him. You should have seen me when I first laid eyes on him, I thought I had seen a ghost. But he is so beautiful, Padmé, and so is Leia. I cannot believe I did not recognize her when I saw her. Leia is the spitting image of you."

"She must be feisty," Padmé said with a knowing smile.

"You have no idea, my love." He stated, rolling his eyes, "She was always a thorn in my side when I was alive. She is so idealistic, so willing to stand by her beliefs no matter the danger to herself. Actually, she reminded me of a certain Senator from Naboo…" Anakin smirked at her.

Padmé felt a blush crawl up her neck at her husband's implication. "Okay," she conceded, "I did have a less than the proper amount of respect for my own safety, but I had to do my duty to the people!"

"Yes, that is what she would say." Anakin said quietly, a soft smile on his face, "She is exactly like you."

She smiled at her husband, pleased by his words. They had been discussing Anakin's journey thus far when he offhandedly mentioned their offspring. It was more than enough to elicit a torrent of questions from Padmé. _What did they look like? How did they meet? What did he feel when he first met them?_

By unspoken agreement, Padmé and Anakin had decided not to ignore his past crimes. It would not do either of them any good to pretend that they had never happened. In truth, it would have been impossible to do so. Instead, they strived to focus on the good things and one of the best parts of Anakin's life was meeting their children despite not knowing that he was Leia's father.

The conversation regarding their children was both painful and exhilarating, but they happily took both in equal measure. They discussed their children's possible likes and dislikes and the little quirks that made them unique human beings. They also speculated about their personalities and their favorite foods as well as how similar they were to their parents: did Leia have trouble with her hair like Padmé did, and did Luke hate sand as much as Anakin?

"Do you think I will be able to see them?" Padmé asked finally, her eyes shining, "Like you did before, on that moon of Endor?"

Anakin fell silent for a moment. "I don't know, Padmé." He said honestly, "It may be something that only Jedi can do. But that does not mean we cannot make sure that you cannot see them as I did. Don't give up hope, my love."

Padmé nodded, trying not to let her disappointment show. She wanted to see her children, if only just once while they were alive. While she hoped she would meet them in Paradise, if they became Jedi, they would go where the Jedi went, a place that was closed to her. She would _never_ get to know them, never get to hold them, never get to tell them how sorry she was for leaving them.

Anakin saw her disappointment and pulled her into his arms. "I will do all that is in my power to ensure that you see our children," He told her, hugging her tightly. "And do not worry, they will love you as I do."

Padmé buried her head in her husband's neck as she contemplated his words. If he could do this, if he could help her see their children, then it would be the greatest gift in either life or death that he could give her.

Anakin frowned as suddenly, with a jerk, the pontoon boat began to slow down. The waters of the River had begun to change color, turning so dark as to appear black. He slowly stood up, allowing Padmé to slide from his lap and into the seat.

"Ani?" Padmé said fearfully watching the water change color.

He moved forward, suddenly on alert. Something was about to happen.

Padmé moved to the side of the boat to take a closer look at the water. "Ani!" She called, "Ani, look at the water."

Anakin moved next to his wife and did as she asked. It looked as though the waters were…_solidifying_. He reached out a hand and touched it as the boat came to a complete stop. It _was_ solid.

"Anakin?" Padmé asked once more, her voice trembling. In front of them, the normally light tones of the River of Scars descended into shadows. The next trial was upon them.

"Stay here, Padmé." He told her, "I'm going to check everything out. Do not move from this boat until I come for you."

She bit her lip and nodded. She hated allowing her husband to go into another trial alone, but she knew that Anakin needed to be focused. They had no idea what could happen here in the Gray; whether they could be hurt or whether they could die again. It was better to be safe than to be sorry and Padmé knew that her presence would only distract him.

"Okay, I will stay here, but come back soon." She said fiercely. "If you don't, I'm coming after you."

Knowing that this was the best he could hope for from his headstrong wife, he nodded and leaned down to kiss her cheek before jumping out of the boat.

Anakin took a moment to activate his lightsaber before moving into the shadows. Moments later, he was out of sight as darkness swallowed him.

#*#*#*#*#

It did not take Anakin long to realize that he was walking through a maze. He did not know how he got there, or how to get out. There seemed to be no choice other than to continue moving. With every step that he took, light shone around him, allowing him to see several feet in front of him, but no more.

The walls of the maze were made out of the same dark gray material that he had encountered earlier on the River of Scars. When Anakin placed his hand on it, it was warm to the touch but quickly became cool to the point of discomfort. Anakin made a point of not touching it again.

He walked for only a little while longer before he came to his destination, a three-way fork in the maze. There were three doors, all of them made of the same solid, dark gray material, all of them the same size and shape.

Anakin paused, unsure of what to do. Should he choose a door, or would someone emerge to meet him?

His questions were soon answered as the door on the left slowly opened.

Anakin backed up, unconsciously falling into a fighting stance, as the shape of a figure became visible in the darkness. The figure began to walk forward, an eerie tapping sound following its movements. The sound echoed and bounced off the walls of the maze, filling the deep silence.

Anakin squinted his eyes trying to make out the shape of the figure moving toward him. His breath caught in his throat as the figure finally stepped into the light.

"Master Windu," Anakin said, heart sinking.

It was Jedi Master Mace Windu. He had been a great man once, second only to Grand Master Yoda. 'Master of the Order', 'Jedi Master', Creator of lightsaber Form VII, 'Vaapad'; these were just some of the things that had made Mace Windu great. But that was before Anakin cut off his arm, before Palpatine blasted Mace through the windows of the Senate building, causing him to fall many stories to his doom.

"Darth Vader." Master Windu responded quietly, quickly and efficiently activating his lightsaber. "Prepare yourself to fight."

#*#*#*#*#

As Anakin fought with Master Windu, he understood why this man was considered second only to Yoda. Master Windu's skill with his saber was incredible. He blocked all of Anakin's moves and thrust with speed and confidence. Indeed, it seemed as though he was able to anticipate all of Anakin's moves.

As he fought, Anakin could not help but think of an incident that occurred long ago on Coruscant, when he was still Obi-Wan's apprentice. They had been chasing a shape-shifter bounty hunter who had just attempted to assassinate Senator Amidala. He remembered how he had raced through the lanes of the city with Obi-Wan at his side, how he had arrogantly told his Master that his sword skills were up to par with Master Yoda's.

Anakin was in the body that boasted the height of his maturity and strength, yet he was finding it difficult to keep up with Master Windu, so how much more difficult would it have been to best Master Yoda? Only now, after a lifetime, he could see the supreme arrogance of his words. It made him a little sick; how had Obi-Wan put up with his…_hubris_ all of those years?

Faltering under the truths that this battle was revealing, Anakin stumbled. Seeing his opening, Master Windu pressed through, shattering Anakin's defense and disarming him, forcing the younger man down.

"I would have thought that the Chosen One would have better skills than this." Master Windu said quietly, as he held his lightsaber to Anakin's neck. "It seems that it is yet another area of your training that was neglected by Master Kenobi."

Anakin's teeth clenched at the insult to his Master. "Do not," Anakin began dangerously, "Speak of Obi-Wan in that manner."

Mace's eyebrows rose into his forehead. "So the Sith defends his old Master? Surprising. After your little battle on Mustafar, I would have thought that you would have no benign feelings left for him."

"Obi-Wan did what he had to do to stop me." Anakin answered, looking up into the Jedi Master's eyes.

"But he didn't, did he Vader?" Mace said coldly. "He could have killed you that day, but he didn't. By all rights, you never should have been alive to destroy innocent lives, to destroy Alderaan, to meet your children. Obi-Wan failed the Jedi and he failed the Galaxy when he refused to kill you, a monster."

Anakin did not speak, what could he say to these words that were nothing more than pure truth? So he did not dispute the words, he could not. "If you're going to destroy me, then do it." Anakin said finally, refusing to look away from Mace.

Master Windu was silent for a moment before he stood straight, deactivating his lightsaber. "That is not for me to do, no matter how much I wish it." Mace stated. "You have many to meet before your fate is decided."

"My fate?" Anakin said as he quickly regained his feet. "What do you mean? After I finish this journey, I will find peace."

Mace laughed, it was a harsh sound, void of joy. "Did the Guardian not tell you? The state of your afterlife is not predicated upon the completion of your journey on the River of Scars. It is all about the people you hurt. If your victims do not find peace in the afterlife, if you do not mend all that you have destroyed, your journey on the River will _never_ end."

Anakin stilled as his thoughts whirled. He mentally filtered through all the wrong that he had done, through all the people he had hurt. If what Mace said was true, it was possible that Anakin's journey would never end.

"I can see that you are shocked, Vader." Mace stated, matter-of-factly. "Well, that's not the only one you're in for." Master Windu nodded toward the door on the right. "There are some people here who would like to speak with you."

As Mace spoke, the door on the far right began to slowly open. Anakin braced for what was waiting behind the door.

He gasped at what emerged. They were still small and they looked as they had in life.

"Younglings," Anakin breathed. He had known, deep down, that he would meet them eventually. Destroying the children and the future of the Jedi Order was by far one of the worst atrocities that he had committed as a Sith.

"Darth Vader." A small one stepped forward. "Do you remember me? I asked for your help when the Purge began. You slaughtered me where I stood."

Another Youngling stepped forward. "Do you remember me? You used to sneak me sweets after training practice. I was so afraid when the Purge began. I was crying when you killed me."

One by one, they stepped forward, forcing Anakin to remember what he had done to them.

"I was the best pilot of all the Younglings," One of the older Younglings stated, "You were my hero. When I saw your yellow eyes, when I realized what you had become, I was devastated. I died before your lightsaber entered my body."

"Stop it," Anakin said, interrupting them, "Stop it, now. I know what I did was wrong, I know it. And you do not know how sorry I am. But I can't change what I did. If I could, I would, a thousand times over. So what do you want from me? By the Force, what in the seven hells do you _want_ from me?"

The Younglings stopped. They looked at Master Windu who nodded at them.

One of them stepped forward; it was the first Youngling that Anakin had killed. The little one opened his mouth and spoke, "We know that you cannot change the past, that is not our wish. Our wish is for you to know exactly what you did when you destroyed the Jedi; we want you to _know_. This knowledge will never leave you; will never die. When this has happened, only then, will you be forgiven by the Jedi."

"Speaks the truth, the young one does." There, emerging from the second door as the Younglings had, stood Master Yoda.

"Master Yoda." Anakin had mixed feelings about the ancient Grand Master. This was the being who had led the Jedi for many years; this was the Jedi who had trained his son, Luke.

"Forgive you, we will." Master Yoda continued, "In our ranks will you be accepted, but face the past, you must. Do this and into the Force will you be welcomed."

Anakin looked at the group of people in front of him: the strong, silent Master Windu, the innocent Young Jedi, and the ancient Grand Master himself; Yoda. He owed it to them to do this. This was how he would make amends.

"Yes," Anakin stated, "I will do this."

Yoda turned toward the last and final door, with a wave of his walking cane, the door began to open. "Face past, present, and future you must. Face what could have been, you will. Face own self, you shall. Self-discovery, a stronger man, will break. But as Chosen One, a polished sword, will you become. Final step of your journey, this is, though many parts it has. Survive this, and regain your honor, you shall."

Anakin closed his eyes and fell into a contemplative silence as Master Yoda's declaration rang through the air. This was the final phase of his journey? He could not take comfort in this. Master Yoda said that it had many parts… The thought made him uneasy. But if this were the only way to be redeemed, then he would do it; he was ready. Anakin was tired of being stained, tired of being dirty. He wanted to be clean and he would do whatever it took to be so again.

"Yes, Master Yoda. I accept." Anakin finally spoke. He opened his eyes only to find himself alone once more. The doors to the left and the right had disappeared as well, leaving only the door in the middle. He squared his shoulders and moved toward the remaining exit.

"Wait, Ani!" A voice called from a distance. "Wait for me!"

He turned as Padmé emerged from maze. She glared at him as she hurried forward. "You were not going to leave without me, were you?" She asked, her eyebrows in her forehead, giving him a look that promised retribution if he did not answer the question correctly.

Even in this dire situation, he could not help but smile. "No, Milady. I would never leave you."

"Good," She said briskly. She stood back for a moment and surveyed the door, then she took a deep breath and said, "Okay, let's go."

"You don't want to know where we're going?"

"Do I need to know in order to go with you?" She responded.

He shook his head. "Then, no." She said, "I will find out soon enough. We both will. Now come on!" Padmé said, winking at him, "We don't have all eternity."

"Of course not, Senator." Anakin said with a smile. He took her hand and together they walked through the middle door of the maze, to wherever their journey took them next.

End of Chapter 9: If you guys liked this, review it. _**Writers on this site are paid only by the reviews of the readers**__. _It will only take a few words to make the Goddess smile. Please, let your voice be heard.

**10th Chapter: What Is and What Could Have Been**: Anakin and Padmé are shown the life they could have had.


	10. What Is and What Could Have Been

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! _You guys are awesome; you guys are awesome (sing-song voice)!_ No, but seriously, you guys are awesome. =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 10: What Is and What Could Have Been**

**By: WrittinInStone**

They were falling and it was exhilarating. Much to Anakin's delight, as soon they walked through the door, they began to descend. They fell through nothingness; a white void. It was fascinating; as they fell, they could see flashes of things…people…places…_strange beings_. Anakin wondered if they were alternate universes, if they were the places that Yoda spoke of: realities that _could have been_.

Anakin's eyes had widened when they began to fall. He had always loved extreme activities and now, even in the face of the dire circumstances, he could not help but yell in delight as the familiar rush of flying came over him. It had been so long since he had flown for pleasure alone. Free falling like this was wonderfully close to it.

But Anakin could not completely enjoy the sensation. If her screams of fear and her death grip on his waist were any indication, he had to assume that Padmé was not pleased with their current situation.

Anakin tried to pry her hands from around his waist, but he could not break her choke-hold.

"Padmé," he yelled over the rush of the air, "Let me go."

She shook her head, clinging tighter to him.

"Padmé," he tried again, straining to be heard, "Please, trust me."

She hesitated and then, with a squeak of terror, she released him. Anakin quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her around so that she was facing him. Her arms immediately went back around his waist as she sobbed. She buried her head into his chest, her body shaking with nausea.

"It's okay, Padmé." He leaned over and yelled into her ear. "Don't be afraid to fall. You're in control. The wind is at your beck and call. Listen and you can hear what it is saying, you can speak back. Don't fight it, but don't let it control you. Don't be afraid. Relax…" He said.

With great effort, Padmé forced her body to relax. Moments later, she felt the difference. She peeked out of one eye to look at her husband. He was grinning down at her.

"That's better, isn't it?" He asked loudly, grinning.

She smiled bravely at him and nodded. It was much better now. She loosened her grip on him and took a deep breath as she tried to control her descent. She completely relaxed when Anakin moved behind her to help her control her movements.

She began to laugh as joy spread through her. This was kind of…fun! Anakin leaned close and kissed her neck. She closed her eyes at the warm sensation of his lips on her skin, and then she grinned as she spread her arms. Pleased by her lack of fear, Anakin shouted in excitement.

Padmé reveled in the sensation of being in complete control, yet having none at all. It was wonderful that they were granted this brief reprieve before facing the next trial.

All too soon, they began to slow. Anakin sighed in disappointment and he heard Padmé echo the sound.

"Padmé, look. It looks as though we're heading to Naboo." Anakin squinted at the beautiful scenery that began to appear as they burst through the void.

Padmé clung to her husband as they slowly descended toward the ground. As they moved, she felt a curious sensation run down her spine. She frowned and looked down only to find that her clothing had once again been changed. She was now wearing a white dress with a brown cloak, nearly identical to an outfit she had worn in life.

"Ani, look at us." She said.

Anakin looked down and saw that his clothing had also changed. His hair remained the same, but his clothing was that of his childhood; he wore beige clothes similar to those worn on Tatooine.

Anakin shot Padmé an uneasy look as they were set gently on the ground. They were not in any place that Anakin had been before. In front of them was a large house that sat alone on top of a small hill. The house was surrounded by trees and waterfalls: it looked like a tropical paradise.

"We _are_ on Naboo," Padmé said, unsure of how to feel. Part of her was elated to be on her home planet once again after being away for so long, yet another part was afraid of what she would find here.

"I guess we should go in," Anakin said finally. Padmé nodded. As they moved toward the house, Anakin could not help but marvel at the beauty in front of him. Growing up on Tatooine had made him grateful for lush planets such as Naboo. He would never get tired of the green grass, the bustling waters, the singing crickets. He loved it all.

When they reached the door of the house, Anakin moved forward and knocked on the door. Maybe there was something waiting for them. They both tensed as they heard footsteps approaching the door.

Seconds later, the door sprang open and in front of them stood two young children who looked to be around age nine. One was a small boy with honey wheat hair and blue eyes. The other was a girl who had dark hair and dark brown eyes. Both of their little faces lit up when they saw Anakin and Padmé.

"Ma! Da! It's about time you got home!" The young boy said impatiently. "We're starving! And you know 3PO is a terrible cook!"

"Stop badgering them, Luke!" The young girl told the boy crossly, "You know they had important things to do while they were out! Stop thinking with your stomach!"

"That's easy for _you_ to say! You're a girl, Leia! I'm a growing boy! I need more food than you, Da said so." The young boy said it with confidence, as though the mere fact that his father said it, made the words law.

The girl, no, _Leia,_ rolled her eyes. "I'm a growing girl! I need food too!"

"But not as much as me," Luke replied with certainty.

"Oh, shut up…you…you…wiener head!" Leia cried.

Luke gasped. "You take that back!"

As the two children bickered, Anakin and Padmé stared in shock. Luke…Leia…these precocious young people were their…children?

Padmé gaped as she beheld the two children who undoubtedly belonged her. Luke, who looked like his father, displayed many of her mannerisms and looked like her in his actions. While Leia, who was the spitting image of Padmé, moved her head like Anakin did. These were her _children_; the ones that she never got to hold, that she never got to kiss. They were standing here, in front of her. Suddenly, it was all too much.

"My…my babies," She choked out, before succumbing to the emotions that bombarded her. Seconds later, she slid to the ground as darkness overcame her.

#*#*#*#*#

Anakin caught her before she hit the floor. He swooped her into his arms and walked swiftly into the house, gently placing her on the nearest couch.

Luke and Leia exclaimed in trepidation as Padmé fell. They rushed to her side as soon as Anakin laid her down.

"Oh, Force! She fainted!" Luke said with a mixture of fear and excitement. "Is she going to be okay, Da?"

"Yeah, Daddy!" Leia cried, a worried look on her face. "Why did Mommy faint? She looked fine earlier, before you guys left…." She said, biting her lip.

Anakin blinked. "Yes, she's going to be okay…son…daughter." He tried to keep his voice steady as he vocalized his relationship to them. This was his son, standing in front of him, anxiously wringing his hands; his little girl, staring at him with wide trusting eyes. Luke did not look at him with pity; his son had no fear in his eyes when he looked at his father. Leia did not look at him with disdain, with barely disguised disgust, no; she sidled next to him as though just being in his presence took away her fear for her mother.

Suddenly, all Anakin wanted to do was to gather them into his arms, to hold them. So, he did. With a huge sigh he snatched Luke and Leia into his arms and held them close. He felt tears come to his eyes as his children stiffened with surprise and then gradually relaxed and returned his embrace. Finally, when he thought that he was able, he released them.

Leia looked at him as though he were crazy, "Are you…okay, Daddy?" She asked tentatively. She reached out and touched the tears that were running down her father's face.

"Yeah," Luke said, his look identical to Leia's, "You're acting kind of weird. Why are you crying?"

"What?" Anakin said lightly, trying to hide his near emotional collapse from his children, "Can't a father hug his children anymore? And I'm crying because I love you both so much. Is that okay?"

Luke and Leia looked at him carefully before smiling and exclaiming, "Yes!"

"As long as you don't do it in front of my friends," Luke added seriously. "They'll think I'm a sissy if I still get hugs from my Da."

"Of course," Anakin said, trying to smile through his tears. "I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of your friends."

"Well, I can get hugs anytime I want," Leia announced, bestowing a shinning smile upon her father. "Now, when is Mama going to wake?"

"She should be waking up any moment now."

Sure enough, seconds later, they heard a groan as Padmé began to regain consciousness.

"Oh, Ani." She said as she rose from the couch, "I had the most amazing dream. We went to this strange place and I got to see my babies…"

Her voice trailed off as she caught sight of Luke and Leia. Padmé's breath caught in her throat as she gazed upon her children for what was only the second time in her afterlife.

They were so beautiful; the Holotablet truly did not do them justice. Luke looked so much like Anakin, with his golden colored hair and his bright blue eyes that it made her heart hurt. And Leia was her clone, sporting Padmé's dark hair and dark eyes. Unable to speak, Padmé simply stared at them.

She opened her arms to them, wordless calling to them. Luke and Leia smiled in delight and quickly scrambled to her. The force of their impact almost knocked Padmé back into the couch, but she didn't care. She simply held them and wept…loudly. She sobbed in their hair as she touched their faces and ran her hands over their small shoulders.

Luke and Leia gave each other a long-suffering look, as though resigned to the fact that their parents were acting weird today.

"Momma?" Leia said hesitantly, "Are you okay? You and Daddy are acting weird."

"Yeah, you guys keep crying over us!" Luke said, but with a smile on his face.

Padmé gave Anakin a knowing smile before turning back to her children. "Hugging and crying over you guys makes us feel better, that's all," Padmé said, laughing through her tears.

"Well, I guess if it makes you feel better," Luke said tolerantly with an imperial wave of his small hand, "You may kiss and hug me then."

Padmé beamed. "Thank you, Luke." She said solemnly, "I appreciate that."

"But not in front of my friends," Luke said quickly.

"Of course not," She agreed with a smile, her heart full of love.

"Mama, Daddy, can Luke and I go outside and play?" Leia inquired. She went to Anakin and bestowed upon him a puppy dog look that seared him to his soul.

"Of course, my sweet." Anakin said in a haze, dazzled by his beautiful daughter.

"Yeah!" Luke and Leia whooped and shouted as they grabbed a couple of toys off the floor.

"Puppy dog look: works every time!" Luke said with a smirk as the twins sailed outside.

Anakin and Padmé stood side by side, dazed. They went to the window of the house and looked out to see their children. They were laughing and playing and chasing each other around the yard.

"So, this is an alternate world, a reality that could have been?" Padmé asked, her eyes on her children.

"I believe so, Padmé. Look at them…they're so…they're so…" Anakin paused unable to continue.

"Amazing? Beautiful? Incredible?" Padmé replied.

"Yes…Luke and Leia are all of those things." Anakin grew quiet before saying, "How long do we have with them?"

"I don't know." She said quietly, "But we have to make every moment count."

"I suspect that this will be the toughest trial that we will experience." Anakin said, his eyes never leaving his children. "This trial will break my heart, _our hearts_."

Padmé nodded. This trial gave them a piece of the life that they could have had, that they _should_ have had. Now, they would experience the joy of being with their children and would also inevitably experience the pain of having this life ripped away.

"Let's go. We should be out there with our children," Padmé said, forcing a smile on her face. Although pain would surely result from this, now was not the time to think about such dire things. For the first time in either life or death, they could be a family.

"Yes." Anakin said, returning her smile. "Let's go!"

He grabbed Padmé's hand and laughing, they burst through the door and ran toward their children. Delighted, Luke and Leia screamed and immediately began chasing their parents.

Hours later, the sounds of play and laughter could still be heard, echoing through the evening air.

End of Chapter 10: If you guys liked this, review it. _**Writers on this site are paid only by the reviews of the readers**__. _It will only take a few words to make the Goddess smile. =] =]

**Chapter 11: Breakfast Club**: Anakin and Padmé have breakfast with Luke and Leia.

A/N: If you're wondering, yes, Luke calls Anakin "Da." I got it from my nephew who calls his father "Da."


	11. Breakfast Club

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Gifted editors are…amazing! So…if we lead those thoughts to conclusion…you guys are amazing! =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 11: Breakfast Club**

**By: WrittinInStone**

Anakin woke up to the sound of childish giggling. For a moment he was disoriented. Where…was he? He sat up and looked down as a movement caught his eye. Facing away from him, cuddled in the covers next to him, was Padmé. Her long, dark hair fell around her shoulder and she sighed in satisfaction as she burrowed deeper into the warm sheets.

Anakin took a moment to gaze upon her, happiness filling his heart. She was so beautiful and he loved her, even if she _did_ hog all of the covers. He smiled at the errant thought and then frowned when he heard the giggling again.

Turning toward the source of the sound, he looked to the end of the bed only to see what looked to be two mops peeking up from above the top of the covers. One of the mops was yellow and the other one was dark brown.

Anakin smiled as an indescribable feeling came over him. Quickly lying back down, he wrapped his arm around Padmé and gently shook her awake.

"Padmé," He whispered, to her as her eyes opened. "I believe we have guests." Slowly, without turning his head, he moved his eyes to indicate the bottom of the bed. Moving slowly, so as to still appear sleep, she turned in his arms to face him, glancing at the bottom of the bed in the process. When she grinned at him, he knew that she had seen the mops as well.

"Luke…Leia?" Padmé called. Seeing them there filled her with so much joy that she had to force the cascade of emotion out of her voice. "Do you want to hide down there or do you want to come up here and snuggle with your father and I?"

The two mops jerked, then Luke and Leia rose from their hiding space at the foot of the bed and hastily moved to join their parents. Luke made a beeline for Anakin while Leia sidled next to her mother.

For a long time the four of them just sat there. Luke turned his face into Anakin's chest and closed his eyes, his small hand resting on his father's side. Leia peeked at Luke and hastily copied his position. She twisted and turned on Padmé several times before sighing in contentment and growing still as sleep overtook her. Moments later, soft snores drifted from the young ones as they floated in the comforting and safe embrace of their parents.

Padmé gazed down at her children. They sat in silence for a moment longer. "We should really make breakfast for them," Padmé said softly, gently nuzzling Leia's neck.

"Yeah." Anakin replied, yet neither one of them made any move to leave.

Finally, Anakin sighed in regret and gently disengaging Luke from his body, carefully placed him on the bed. Anakin stretched as Padmé did the same with Leia.

As they moved toward the door, they paused once more to look at their children before turning and leaving with a smile.

When they entered the kitchen, Anakin's eyebrows rose to his forehead. There were gadgets and cooking utensils and…machines whose names Anakin did not know. How was he supposed to cook when he didn't even know what half of these things _did_?

Seeing the look on her husband's face, Padmé laughed. "It's okay, Ani. I know how to cook. We'll make the kids some blueberry pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon. We should also have some fruit like grapes and strawberries. I actually saw a garden out back. Let's go see if we can pick some fresh fruit for them."

"Wow," Anakin murmured, his eyes widening, "That sounds great and I am definitely ready to eat!"

"Hold on there, buster!" Padmé said with a smile, "We haven't even made the food yet and you're ready to eat?"

Anakin smirked. Sidling up to her side, he leaned close and stared into her eyes. "That's not all I'm ready for," He murmured, leering at her. Padmé's eyes widened at his words and she bit her lip as she tried to contain her giggle.

"Well, I think we may be able to cook up something like that later on, after we put Luke and Leia to bed." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Anakin smiled, "I'd like that," He said, his voice deepening sensually as he wrapped his hands around her waist. "I'd like that a lot."

"Mama, Daddy?" At the sound of Leia's voice, Anakin and Padmé quickly pulled apart and pretended to be busy around the kitchen.

Seconds later, a sleepy-eyed Leia walked into the kitchen. "Where did you guys go?"

"Yeah!" Luke exclaimed, following closely behind his sister, "You guys just left us in there!" He looked at them accusingly.

Anakin and Padmé exchanged smiles. "We didn't want to wake you," Anakin explained. "You guys are young, you need your rest."

"That's what you guys are always telling us," Leia said sassily, grinning at them. While Leia was calm about the matter, Luke clearly was not.

"You know it's tradition for us to make breakfast together!" Luke said crossly. "Why did you leave us?"

Anakin went to Luke and crouched in front of him. He grabbed his son's shoulders and forced Luke to look at him.

"Son," Anakin began, "We did not leave you because we did not want you with us. We were just concerned about you. But I promise that if you go to bed on time, your mother and I will never again attempt to make breakfast without you. Deal?"

Luke relaxed as a large smile covered his face. "Deal!" He cried, throwing his arms around his father.

Anakin hugged him tight before releasing him.

"Now come on, troops!" Anakin said, grabbing a wooden spoon, brandishing it as though he were a general in an army. "Let's go and pluck some fresh fruit!"

With a wave of his hand, Anakin marched out the door, his faithful family following closely behind him.

#*#*#*#*#*#

"No, Leia, you cannot set the eggs free, sweetie. They're already…prepared for eating." Padmé said in exasperation as her daughter tried to explain to her why it was wrong to eat the chicken eggs.

"But Mama!" Leia exclaimed, "Didn't you say that it's everyone's right to be free and happy? I don't think chickens like us eating them."

Padmé bit her lip as she tried not to roll her eyes. Anakin covered his face to prevent from laughing. He stood at the sink rinsing the grapes and strawberries. After he finished washing them, he handed them to Luke to place in a serving tray. Luke stood by his side, strangely silent.

"Come on, dear." Anakin said, a smirk on his face, "Please explain to Leia why it's okay to eat eggs."

"Okay!" Padmé said, glaring at Anakin, refusing to back down from her husband's unspoken challenge.

Padmé knelt in front of her daughter who looked at her with distress in her eyes.

"Leia, you know how some animals have teeth that are meant to eat meat and how some animals have teeth that are meant to plants, right?"

Leia nodded, "Yes, carnivores and herbivores."

Padmé nodded in approval, "That's correct, my love. Well, other animals have teeth and digestive systems designed to eat _both_!" Padmé said the last word dramatically, with emphasis.

"Omnivores." Luke piped up in a muffled voice.

"That is correct, Luke." Padmé said smiling in his direction.

"Do we get angry at carnivores for eating meat, or herbivores for eating plants?"

"No!" Leia exclaimed with a frown, "That would be silly."

"Exactly, so why get angry at omnivores for eating both?"

"…We are omnivores!" Leia exclaimed, thrilled at making the connection.

"Yes!" Padmé shouted, mirroring her daughter's excitement. "We are omnivores. We eat what we eat and that's okay. What's not okay is to kill for sport or to kill when we don't need it. You kill to eat or to prevent from being eaten."

"Wow, Ma," Luke said in awe, "You're really smart…and you're pretty too." He said the last part offhandedly, as though it was only fair and right that his mother be pretty.

Padmé beamed at her son. "Thank you, my heart." Suddenly, she frowned. "Luke!" She cried, "You're bleeding!"

Luke quickly turned away from his parents as they rushed forward.

His claims of 'I'm okay' were quickly silenced as Anakin grabbed Luke's chin and forced it up for inspection.

"Wait a minute…" Anakin said suspiciously, eying the red on his son's face, "That's not blood…that's…strawberries! Luke!"

Anakin turned back to the serving platter designated for the fruit. Sure enough, half of the platter was gone.

"Luke Skywalker! You ate half of the fruit!" Padmé exclaimed, trying to bite back a smile. She recalled a similar incident in which Anakin had done the same thing, but instead of fruit, Anakin had…_misappropriated_ some special chocolate from a foreign Senator…

"I'm sorry!" Luke wailed, "They just looked…so delicious! I couldn't resist!"

Anakin smiled, and gathered Luke into his arms. "I guess it's okay, son. But since you've already eaten your fruit, you don't get to eat it with your breakfast, okay?" Luke nodded, happy to be out of trouble.

As the family moved around the kitchen and fluffed pancakes and grilled bacon, Padmé could not erase her smile as she watched the family drama unfold. She watched Leia and Luke bicker about who would sit next to whom during breakfast. She watched her husband look at their children with amusement in his eyes as Luke and Leia finally decided on a seating arrangement that they were both satisfied with. She watched as Anakin moved to the stove to try his hand at the pancakes. Her husband cockily took the nearly cooked batter into the spatula and flipped it into the air. She burst into laughter as the rebellious pancake attached to the ceiling before falling with a plop onto Luke's head.

She folded her arms as Anakin scooped Luke up and rushed him into the bathing room to clean him up, both of them laughing the whole way. She watched Leia make sure her father and brother were gone before sneaking to the pot and grabbing a bit of scrambled eggs. The young girl looked around quickly before stuffing the eggs into her mouth. Leia gave Padmé a huge grin, confident that her mother would not chastise her and was backing up to look innocently at Anakin and Luke by the time they emerged from the bathing room.

They were all here, together as a family; it was still kind of hard for her to believe it. While alive, Anakin and Padmé had been forced to sneak around, to keep their relationship a secret. They had been unable to do something as simple as go to the market together or hold hands in public. For so long their actions had been ruled by outside forces; by their positions, by people who would abhor what they were to each other.

But now they were in this alternate reality and she was happy: blindingly, unquenchably, irrevocably happy! She would explore this life that she should have had with Anakin and their children, she would spend every moment hugging her children, touching them, loving them. She would spend every moment snuggling next to Anakin and rediscovering exactly why she fell in love with him.

She already knew that leaving this life would be the hardest thing she would ever have to do in her existence, but she would take the pain for this time that she was allowed to be with her family. She would happily accept the impending sorrow for the opportunity to hold the memories of this time close to her heart. And it was those memories that would be her saving grace; it was those memories that would see her and Anakin through the dark times, and they would be glad. With her resolve firm in her mind, she turned back to her family to enjoy every single moment that she was blessed to have with them.

End of Chapter 11: Please review if you loved it. If you've never left a review before, consider this a fine time to make your voice heard. =]

**Chapter 12: What A Wonderful Life**: Anakin and Padmé live a normal life with their children.

((***If you simply LOVED this, please check out my other story: **Chosen: Restoration**.))


	12. What A Wonderful Life

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. You guys help make this story possible.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 12: What A Wonderful Life**

**By: WrittinInStone**

_**3**__**rd**__** Day in Alternate Reality**_

Upon further exploration of their surroundings, Anakin and Padmé discovered that there was a whole neighborhood just beyond the forest of trees that protected their house from the outside world. The very same day, the family packed into a hover car and went to play baseball at the local park with the local families. Padmé thought it was a brilliant way to meet their neighbors.

The baseball games were split into games of one family versus another. The Skywalker's opponents were the Y'los, a family who was known to be the best baseball players in the neighborhood. Yet the Skywalkers were not intimidated; they were there to win.

When Anakin and Jeniah, the father of the Y'los family, saw one another, they immediately swore to demolish the other. This created a fiercely competitive game, yet wildly fun time as a rivalry between the two families was born.

The Skywalkers dominated the field. Luke hit a storm of homeruns while Leia was the best pitcher in the game, throwing five outs and numerous fouls. Anakin stood on the sidelines and coached his family like a General directing an army. Padmé, though the least competitive of the family, was having a wonderful time. But that was until she noticed that the other team seemed to be having an inordinate amount of accidents on the field. She turned and found her husband staring intently at them. Padmé scowled and bopped him on the head, telling him that it was cheating to use to Force on the opposing team. Anakin smiled sheepishly and stopped at once.

They ended the day with a community cookout where they good-naturedly congratulated the other team on their playing prowess and when the Skywalkers went home that night, they knew that they had made many friends.

_**5**__**th**__** Day in Alternate Reality**_

The fifth day in their alternate life, Padmé decided to cook dinner for her family. For the past few days, they had ordered out and though this was something that she was accustomed to as a former Senator, she wanted to create a delicious home-cooked culinary treat for the most important people in her life. Upon delivering this news to her family, Anakin, Luke, and Leia looked at one another uneasily before giving her wide and obviously false smiles.

Icily, Padmé asked them why they were all looking at her that way. Leia hesitantly responded that it was because although Padmé was a genius at cooking breakfast, her…dinner ventures…were not as successful. Annoyed, Padmé, insisted that she would make the best dinner that they had ever had in their lives. Jumping at the chance to spend time with his mother and to assuage her hurt feelings, Luke immediately volunteered to be her helper.

Smug, Padmé gave her husband a superior look before entering the kitchen with her son in tow.

#*#*#*#*#

She blew up the kitchen.

Anakin was pushing Leia on the swing outside when they heard the explosion. Heart pounding in his chest with fear, he ran toward the house, almost breaking down the door in an effort to reach his wife and son.

What he found when he arrived almost made him cry with the effort to prevent from laughing. Luke sat on a stool, stunned. His eyes were wide and he was covered in what looked to be meat, red sauce, and cheese. But the crowning point was Padmé. She stood in the middle of the kitchen, holding a roaster, and was completely covered in the same meat, sauce, and cheese goo that was on Luke.

When Leia entered the kitchen and saw the mess, she did not have the same discipline as her father and began to laugh outright. Anakin bit his lip trying to control himself, but finally, he gave up.

He tried to stop when he saw how upset his wife was getting, but he couldn't seem to. Anakin did not notice when Leia, finally concerned for her mother's feelings, stopped laughing and went to stand behind her to rub Padmé's back comfortingly.

"Great job, Padmé." He gasped out, "This looks like a really fine mea—"

His words stopped abruptly as a wad of meat-sauce-cheese mixture hit him square in the cheek. Anakin's laughter stopped immediately. Silence reigned in the room as he raised a shaking hand to his face.

"Did you just hit me with a meat ball?" He asked carefully, dangerously.

"Yes, I did," She said in a sugary sweet voice, "Isn't it delicious, _honey_."

"I don't know," He answered, his voice just as sweet. "Why don't you _try some_!"

He picked up a glob from off the counter and threw it at his wife.

Sensing the attack, Padmé ducked the throw, allowing it to hit Leia right in the forehead.

Anakin and Padmé gasped while Leia's eyes filled with tears. The young girl's lips trembled, but that was until Luke burst into laughter.

"Wow," The young boy said, smirking, "Looks good on you, Leia. _Now_, who's the wiener face—" He paused as a slab of meat him in his forehead.

"No," Leia said with a grin, "It's still _you_, Luke!"

They all laughed as they continued to pelt each other with meat balls.

After their fun was done, the Skywalkers spent the rest of the day cleaning up the kitchen from what was indeed, the best meal that they had ever had.

_**10**__**th**__** Day in Alternate Reality **_

It was on the third day of the next week, after a conversation with his children, that Anakin realized that in this reality, he had a job. Unwilling to let on to his children that he didn't know where the heck his job was, Anakin decided to take Leia with him, allowing her to 'drive' him to work.

When he reached his job, he was not surprised to find that he was a mechanic and a famous one at that. As he entered the shop, he looked around in awe at what he saw. There were modern pod racers, antique speeders, partially constructed engines; there were so many amazing things to put together, to create. It was a mechanic's dream.

He quickly became acquainted with his staff who seemed to worship the ground he walked on. He frowned at a particularly…_friendly_…female employee, knowing that he'd have to watch out for that one. It would not do for Padmé to be imprisoned for bludgeoning the amorous female employee to death.

Everyone was delighted that he had brought Leia to work with him, saying that he usually brought Luke who seemed just as talented as their father when it came to fixing things.

Although not as savvy in mechanics as Luke, Leia was a genius in procuring and handling customers. She used her cuteness and charm to the fullest and because of her, business boomed the whole day.

Anakin knew that being a mechanic was nothing next to the thrill, rush, and prestige of being a Jedi, yet when Anakin went home that night, he realized that he had never felt so satisfied after a day's work. He knew the reason why; as a mechanic, he could go home to his family everyday. He concluded that this simple fact was the part that made being a mere mechanic, worthwhile. And with this knowledge, Anakin was content.

_**13**__**th**__** Day in Alternate Reality**_

Early in the morning, about two weeks into their new life, Luke announced that he wanted to go skateboarding. Anakin's eyebrows rose as he exchanged startled glances with Padmé.

"Skateboarding?" Anakin asked his son. "Why ever would you want to do something so dangerous?"

Luke rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Da!" The nine year old said patiently, "You promised that you would take the whole family to that new outdoor skating park. Remember?"

"I did?" Anakin said incredulously. Padmé, not subtlety, elbowed her husband who quickly corrected, "Oh, yes. Of course I did."

"I'm sooo excited!" Leia announced from the doorway. "I want to try some new moves I saw on this Holonet show."

"Wait," Padmé interrupted, "Do you two actually _know_ how to skateboard?"

Luke and Leia exchanged glances. "We've…uh…dabbled in it." Luke said avoiding his mother's gaze. "We're getting better every day!"

"Yeah," Leia said grinning at them, "Luke and I didn't even break any body parts last time! We should be _golden_ this time!"

This time, Anakin and Padmé's expressions were the same as apprehension flashed across their features.

"There is no way in the seven hells that we're taking you two skateboarding," Padmé said flatly. "No way."

"Your mother is right," Anakin said, glaring at his children. "Other parents might allow their children to engage in such dangerous activities, but in this house, you will abide by our rules and we say that you're not going skateboarding; not outside, not in a skating park; not _anywhere_."

#*#*#*#*#

"I thought your speech was great, honey," Padmé said sympathetically, rubbing his back.

Anakin glared at his wife as he unloaded the foldable chairs from the hovercraft. He glared at the young people walking pass him with their skateboards tucked under their arms, making their way toward the new skate park that was a mere few feet in front of them. Then, he glared at his offspring who were chatting gleefully at the entrance of the park.

"You know what we are?" Anakin asked his wife angrily, "We're two sopping, wet pieces of milquetoast. We're putty in the hands of our children. I mean, who knew? Anakin, the 'Hero With No Fear' turns into jelly with one tearful puppy dog look from his daughter. And all he needs to see is disappointment in his son's eyes, and he caves like he possesses no spine whatsoever."

Padmé smiled at her husband's rant. She took the chair out of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Anakin," She said, smiling into his face, "You and I both know that we can't keep them from doing things that they enjoy. Yes, skateboarding is dangerous, but this is something we can actually do with them. We can make sure that they're okay. And if we have to be milquetoasts, then let it be for something like this. Okay?"

Anakin rolled his eyes and he pulled his wife close. "Fine," He said petulantly. "But I'm making them go to bed early tonight."

"Of course, my heart," Padmé said, her heart warming at his gruffness. "Show our babies who the bosses are."

"Damn, right." Anakin said grinning down at her. "But they aren't the only ones who are going to find out who the boss is." He said, murmuring in her ear. "When Luke and Leia are put to sleep, I'll show you just how…authoritative I can be."

"I'd really like to see that," Padmé said, her cheeks warming as desire shot through her body.

"You will." He said, bending down to nuzzle her ear. "You will."

"Ewww!"

Anakin and Padmé looked away from one another, toward the disgusted moans of their children. Luke imitated gagging while Leia grabbed her throat as though she were trying not to puke.

Padmé rolled her eyes at their antics, "You guys should be happy your parents are still cuddling."

"Yeah," Leia admitted with a smile, "We are."

"Ma! Da! Come on!" Luke said, tired of the pleasantries, "There is air to be had. Moves to be busted! Come on!"

Anakin and Padmé exchanged amused glances. "Very well," Anakin said with long suffering, "Let's go, gang!"

Luke and Leia shouted in excitement as they ran toward the skating park.

Anakin pulled Padmé under the crook of their arm as they moved toward the skate park.

_**18**__**th**__** Day in Alternate Reality**_

The next week, Luke and Leia had a dentist appointment. Thankfully, the children had not had to remind them about that; Padmé found a calendar in the nightstand next to their bed detailing all important dates and appointments.

That morning, they roused the children, made them breakfast, and then packed them into their transport to go to the dentist. When they got there, they ran into one thing that they did not anticipate: Leia was deathly afraid of the dentist. Luke, torn between being a good big brother and satisfying his need to rag on his sister, decided to do both. He teased her and comforted her in equal measure.

But Padmé found that she did not mind Leia's fear of the dentist. When they were finally called to the back to be worked on, Leia held her mother's hand tightly the whole time. Padmé could hear Anakin and Luke in the room next to them, laughing and joking about some guy thing. It sounded like they were engaging in a mock battle; it made her smile.

Padmé left the dentist that day in happy tears. The normalcy of this trip touched her heart in a way that no heated debate or Senate hearing had ever been able to.

She cherished these days and put them in a special place in her heart, knowing that each day could be the last.

_**21**__**st**__** Day in Alternate Reality**_

By now, Anakin and Padmé had fallen into a comfortable routine with their children. It had not occurred to them to ask about school until Leia made the comment that school would begin in a mere three weeks.

The surprised parents exchanged looks. Would they be here long enough to see Luke and Leia to school? It was something that they both looked forward to.

They began to question their children on their grades for the past school year. While they did, Anakin and Padmé began to realize just how like them their children truly were. Luke looked guilty while Leia enthusiastically launched into a detailed description of the major events that occurred at school.

From what they could gather, Leia was excelling in school, while Luke, though as brilliant as his sister, was too unfocused, often being accused of 'having his head in the clouds' by his teachers. Luke would not look at his parents while he told them about his failing.

Anakin smiled, completely unable to be mad as his son. He couldn't be: all that Anakin saw in front of him was a clone of himself. He had been exactly like that at Luke's age. How could he fault his son for things that he himself still had trouble controlling?

Pulling his son into his arms, Anakin hugged him tight.

"You'll get it one day, my son." He said, looking Luke directly in the eye. "And when you do, you will be more amazing then you already are."

Luke smiled brightly at his father, hero worship shinning from the depths of his eyes.

"And Leia," Padmé continued, not wanting her to feel left out, "You are just like me when I was your age. You have done well, my love."

Flushing, Leia beamed at her mother and rushed quickly into her arms to hug her. That night, Luke and Leia went to bed, determined to make the upcoming school year, the best in their career.

End of Chapter 12: If you loved it, review it.

**Chapter 13: White Picket Fence**: Anakin and Padmé continue to live in the alternate reality.

((***If you simply LOVED this, please check out my other story: **Chosen: Restoration**.))


	13. White Picket Fence

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. **Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors**! Gifted editors are…amazing! So…if we lead those thoughts to conclusion…you guys are amazing! =]

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 13: White Picket Fence**

**By: WrittinInStone**

_**26**__**th**__** Day in Alternate Reality**_

About three weeks into their alternate life, Luke and Leia had a fight. When the two came down for breakfast, it was obvious to their parents that there was tension between the two. Neither Anakin nor Padmé mentioned it although Padmé wanted to, but Anakin thought it would best if the two settled it themselves.

But the matter did not stop there; indeed, it lasted all day until finally, the reason for it came out when Leia suddenly burst out, "Just because you're stronger than me doesn't mean you're better than me!"

Luke looked stricken, "I've never thought I was better than you," he said in disbelief. "You're my sister and I love you."

At her brother's sincere proclamation, Leia seemed at a loss for words. Finally, she turned and ran out of the room, leaving her parents and brother stunned.

"Okay, Luke," Padmé said finally, standing up to face her son, "What's going on? You two have been fighting all day, and that's not like you. What did she mean you're stronger than her?"

Luke's eyes darted back and forth as though looking for an escape, but when Anakin stood up to stand behind Padmé with folded arms, Luke released a breath of resignation.

"She means this," he mumbled before closing his eyes, his forehead creasing as though in concentration.

At first, Anakin and Padmé did not think anything happened, but that was before they noticed that items in the room were floating…._by themselves_.

"Oh, Force," Anakin breathed, completely floored as he watched the items fly and dance in the air. Luke was strong in the Force. How had he forgotten that Luke was strong in the Force? And more importantly, why was he just now feeling his son's ridiculously strong Force signature? _It was a question I had in life too_, Anakin though ruefully, _it wasn't until I learned that he was my son that I felt his Force signature from across the Galaxy_.

"I'm sorry, Da!" Luke exclaimed as he allowed the items to rest gently back in their places, "Leia and I were just playing! We used to be about the same in strength, but then…I don't know! I just began to get stronger than her. I didn't mean to make her feel bad!" Luke's eyes were filled with tears of distress; he was clearly upset that his sister was unhappy.

Padmé looked at Anakin, at a loss for words. How did one make their child feel better about not measuring up to a sibling? She pulled Anakin to the side, "You take care of Luke, and I'll go talk to Leia."

Anakin nodded and went to crouch in front of his son.

Padmé quickly went to Leia's room where she found her daughter lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Padmé went to the bed and lay next to her, silently staring at the ceiling with her daughter.

"I hurt Luke's feelings," Leia said finally, sounding forlorn, "I didn't mean to! But he just…he does it so _easily_ and...it just gets harder for me."

"Hmm." Padmé said thoughtfully, "So, using the Force is something that Luke is good at, right? He keeps beating you at that game?"

"Yes," Leia said miserably, "I want to win! I mean, he makes it look so cool..."

Padmé turned on her side to face her daughter, "Does he flaunt it in your face?"

"No! No…." Leia sighed, running her fingers through her hair, "No, he doesn't. But it still makes me feel bad."

"I understand, my love. Is there anything that you're better at than Luke?"

"Uh-huh." Leia said, biting her lip, "I always win our arguments and I can remember things better than Luke."

"Does he ever get angry when you beat him at those things?"

"No…not really," Leia said with a sigh.

"Honey," Padmé began, sitting up and pulling Leia next to her, "The wonderful thing about being a twin is that you are close to someone who is strong where you are weak. His skills might seem cooler, but they are no less important than yours. Doesn't your brother admire you when you do better than him?"

"Yes." Leia bit her lip, "I'm a horrible sister, aren't I Mama?" Leia's eyes filled with tears.

"No!" A loud voice exclaimed from the door; it was Luke. He ran to his sister and threw his arms around her. "You're not a horrible sister," he said fiercely, hugging her tightly "And I'll cream anyone who says different!"

Leia smiled, her sadness evaporating as she hugged her brother tightly.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk, Luke." She whispered.

"It's okay," The young boy said, shrugging. "If it makes you feel bad, then we can stop playing the Force game."

Leia paused, thinking for a moment, and then shook her head. "No, Luke. Using the Force is something you're good at and I don't want us to stop just because I'm a wiener head. Maybe instead of playing a game, you can…help me to do better with using the Force?"

Luke beamed, "That sounds great." He said, grinning at her.

The two smiled at each other before embracing again. Seconds later, they were chatting happily about some subject that their parents had no clue about.

Anakin grinned, his eyes misting over. He and Padmé would have to address the issue of their children's Force ability eventually, especially since they were getting older. But for now, he would not worry about it. Watching his children resolve their differences was enough for him.

'Our children are awesome,' He mouthed to Padmé.

'Yes, they are.' She mouthed, her eyes full of unshed tears, 'Yes, they are."

_**30**__**th**__** day in Alternate Reality**_

After a day filled with fun and adventure, Luke and Leia were ready for bed. They had both begged for a bedtime story until their parents caved. Excited, Luke quickly settled into Leia's bed, knowing that he would probably fall asleep during the story. Anakin and Padmé were sitting on the bed in Leia's room, both of them mentally sorting through their repertoire of nighttime tales, when Leia announced what story she wanted to hear. Per some unspoken agreement, the twins have decided that it is her turn to pick the tale.

To her parent's surprise, she wanted to hear the story of Anakin and Padmé's love. Excited, Luke immediately jumped up to begin the story. Soon, the children are so caught up in the romance and surrealist nature of the story that they began to tell it themselves.

"One day, right after safely arriving home from a trip, Da began to have nightmares about Ma—" Luke begin before being cut off by Leia.

"No, Luke!" She exclaimed, rolling her eyes, "Get to the good parts!"

"Okay, yeah," Luke said quickly, glaring at her, "So, Da tells the Jedi Council about the evil Sith lord, and they go to confront him! Jedi Master Mace Windu finds him, defeats him in a duel and then arrests him! The Jedi quickly take him before the shocked Senate where he is sentenced to death!" Luke's eyes get wide as he tells this part of the story.

"But their secret is exposed, because everyone wants to know how Daddy knew that the Chan…Chancellor…was a Sith, 'cause no one else knew." Leia continued in excitement. "And instead of keeping his dumb mouth shut, the evil Sith lord told everyone about Luke, Daddy, Mama and me to get back at Daddy."

Padmé sat next to bed listening in amazement as all of her questions regarding this reality was finally answered. _How did it happen? What did Anakin do? How did the Jedi Council – no, the Galaxy—react to the events that occurred on that fateful day_? She had wanted to know so badly, had burned to know. But now she did know and she would never have guessed that those answers would bring such pain.

Anakin sat on the bed, his face stony, as he listened to the things he could have done, the thing he _should_ have done to have this life. Suddenly, he didn't want to hear anymore.

"Luke, Leia," He began, but Luke and Leia had _become_ the story and as they jumped and spun around and danced around the room to illustrate the more exciting parts of the tale, their faces glowed:

"Da was called before the Jedi Council to give an…" Luke paused as though searching for the right word. "…account…of his actions. That's when Da admitted that he and Ma were married and that they were having children! Us!"

"Yep!" Leia continued, enthusiastically, "The Jedi Council was…conflic..conflicted…because Daddy saved the Galaxy. They didn't want to just expel him or put him on trial because he married Mama."

"So they compromised!" Luke said as he took up the story, "The Jedi Council expelled Da but did not formerly charge him with anything."

"Mama wasn't kicked out of the Senate, though." Leia said cheerfully, "But she didn't want to stay there because everyone kept taking pictures of her and Daddy."

"So, as soon as they could, they gathered everything that mattered and disappeared here!" Luke and Leia echoed together, happily.

"It's sooo romantic," Leia said, stars in her eyes.

"It's okay," Luke said, nonchalantly, trying to be tough, but it was clear that he was just as enchanted with the tale as his sister.

A little while later, Anakin and Padmé put the children to bed, both of their minds whirling with the things they had learned.

_**31**__**st**__** day in Alternate Reality**_

Very early in the morning, before the sun rose, Anakin brooded in the kitchen. Padmé walked in to find him sitting in a chair, staring at a wall. She knew what was wrong with him, but she wanted him to tell her. She wanted him to open up and not shut her out, like he promised he would.

After a long silence, he finally spoke. "This life could have been ours," He said quietly. "It should have been ours."

He paused for a moment as though trying to regain…_something_…before beginning again. "For so long I was so selfish, thinking that I could have it all. But now that I'm here, now that I'm no longer a Jedi, now that all I have is this life, I realize that this is all I ever needed. I didn't need the adventure or the fame. I didn't need to be the 'Hero With No Fear.' I needed _this_, just this.

The biggest rush I've ever gotten in my life was playing baseball with my children and having a food fight with my family. And if I had not tried to have it all, I would have had it."

He paused for a moment and when he finally began to speak again, Padmé could hear the tears in his voice. "But now," He said, choking on his words, "Thanks to me, we have _nothing_; nothing but a life of pain, misery and agony. I have never hated myself more than I hate myself now. All of this is my fault and…I…I don't know what to do, Padmé. This self-loathing is so…large, so huge…that I don't…I don't want to be me. I wish…that I had not been born, Padmé, that I did not have to look at myself in the mirror everyday and see the failure that I truly am."

"I sat here thinking how to make things right, how to make amends. I admit, I even wondered if I could die again, if I could just erase my existence. But then…I realized my problem."

"…What is your problem?" Padmé asked quietly.

"That very way of thinking is my problem." Anakin shook his head, a bitter smile on his face. "I've been running for so long, from my mother's death, from the true reality of our relationship, from the Jedi…Force, I've been running all my life and I never realized it until now. I always take the easy way out. I always try to bend the rules for myself. I always try to avoid punishment, censure, trouble, everything… I realize now that I've always thought that I was smarter than the Jedi.

I was _Anakin Skywalker_. I had the highest Midichlorian count ever recorded, I was stronger and faster than any other. The truth is, I felt that I should be exempt from the rules; I was the Chosen One and I should be able to do whatever I wanted. And when restraints were placed on me, I bucked. I brought down the Jedi because they got in the way of what I wanted. I destroyed the Emperor because he tried to kill what I loved." Anakin shook his head turning his face to the ceiling.

"And as I sat here, I realized that I have never been a man in my entire Force-forsake existence. I have never faced the consequences of my actions. I have never stood up and laid everything out on the table. If I had been the man that you needed, that my children needed, we would have had this life."

"Padmé," Anakin stood up and turned to look at her. "Obi-Wan used to tell me that it's never too late to do what's right. And finally, after all this time, I'm going to believe him. I am going to do what is right. For the first time in my life, I'm going to be a man and own up to the things that I have done. Not grudgingly, not…in annoyance or with any negative emotion, but with the knowledge that I am making right that which I made wrong. I might not have this life which is truly everything that I want, but I still have you and even if you're _all_ I have. I'll _make_ that enough. It will always be enough."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, they felt it; a pulling sensation. And suddenly they both knew, their time was up.

Padmé swallowed hard as the pull on her body grew stronger. "Anakin," She said in panic, as she began to sob. "I'm not ready yet. I'm not. I can't leave them. I can't. Anakin plea—."

Her words stopped in a sudden choke as her husband took her face into his hands. She was captured by his expression, by the look in his eyes; they were pain-filled, but solid with a strength that she had never before seen. Her sobs began to quiet as she fell into his strength, as she clung to his body.

"Let's go and say goodbye to them," He said quietly, "They'll be asleep."

Biting her lip, she nodded. He took her hand, and together they went to their children's room.

Luke and Leia lay on the bed, curled into one another. Anakin's breath caught at the sight of them. In unison they parted and went to either side of the bed. They lay on the bed next to their children. Padmé cuddled close to them, pulling both as close as possible, and Anakin moved closer, encompassing his whole family into his arms.

There they laid as the pull on their bodies grew stronger, fighting it, but knowing that it was useless.

Finally, they both gasped as they were _separated_. It was as though they were specters being ripped from their bodies; they could see that their bodies remained in bed wrapped around their children, but their souls, their essences were being taken away.

The flight was quick and within minutes, they were placed back on the River of Scars. They both stared ahead as they were placed gently in the boat.

Padmé closed her eyes fighting her pain. She gulped as a sob escaped. Suddenly, she couldn't hold it anymore. She covered her face as her shoulders began to shake and her body wracked with agony. She began to wail to the skies, her head thrown back and tears falling down her face.

"Anakin," She gasped as her pain threatened to overcome her. "Anakin…"

She continued to sob as she was pulled into his strong arms. She clung to him and his strength; he was her lifeline.

"Anakin," She sobbed, "My babies. My babies…"

"I know." He said, and she could hear the tears in his voice. "I know."

She said nothing as she continued to weep into his chest. How long they stayed like that, Anakin did not know. All he knew was that all they had now was each other, all they could do was cling to one another, so that's what they did, and they didn't let go.

End of Chapter 13: If you loved it, please review. I like reviews.

**Chapter 14: To Do or Not To Do**: Anakin and Padmé experience another alternate reality.

((***If you loved this, please check out my other fic, **Chosen: Restoration**.))


	14. Threat

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.

Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 14: Threat**

**By: WrittinInStone**

"Master Skywalker! Master Skywalker!"

Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker looked up at the sound of his name being called. He smiled as a Youngling appeared, waving a note around. He paused so that the young one could catch up.

_Was I ever that young?_ Anakin thought as the Youngling stopped in front of him, trying to catch his breath.

"Master Skywalker, I have a missive for you from Master Yoda. You are called to the Jedi Council at once." The Youngling looked at Anakin with wide eyes, clearly in awe of the 'Hero With No Fear'.

Taking the note, Anakin dismissed the young one with a nod and a smile. He opened the missive and his eyes widened at what he saw.

"Oh Force," He moaned. "No. Not this, anything but this." Anakin forced a smile as a nearby Jedi looked at him curiously. It was difficult to appear unaffected; this was a letter concerning the one person he spent most of his time trying not to think about: Padmé Amidala; legendary senator of Naboo and…Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.

He took a deep breath as he made his way to the chambers of the Jedi Council. Why now? Why did this have to happen now? _As if this happening at any other time would help._ Anakin thought. _Why does my past continue to haunt me? When will I ever be okay with this?_

He took a moment to compose himself before stepping into the Jedi Council chambers. It would not do to allow them to sense his unease and in truth, he shouldn't feel uneasy at all. Padmé Amidala meant nothing to him, nothing. So this matter should be quite easy to handle.

_Keep telling yourself that and you might just fool yourself into thinking it's true._ Anakin thought as he nodded to his fellow Council members. He smiled slightly at Obi-Wan as he sat in his designated place right next to his former Master.

"This meeting to order, we call." Master Yoda began immediately as soon as Anakin sat down, taking no time for pleasantries. "A great threat we have to Supreme Chancellor Amidala. An attempt on her life, there has been. A rogue sect from the Separatists, we believe it to be, but no proof have we. A protector in the Senate we must give her until found, this threat is. Master Skywalker…"

Anakin stiffened, dreading what he knew would come since he had seen the letter.

"…you will be the Chancellor's protector until removed, this threat is."

"Master Yoda," Anakin began. This was not a good idea and he was sure that the good Senator did not know, if she did…well, his protests now would not be necessary. "I don't believe that I would be the best person for this mission…"

"Master Skywalker," Master Mace Windu interrupted him, "We are aware that you have been the protector for Chancellor Amidala before, when she was a Senator. We need someone who is accustomed to her practices, someone who she will not easily reject. We all know how difficult she is when it comes to her protection but we will not indulge in her usual stubbornness this time.

She is the best thing that has happened to the Republic. Under her leadership, the Republic has bounced back from the devastation caused by the Sith, Lord Darth Sidious. Because of her the people trust the rule of the Republic once again and they trust the Jedi. She must be protected at all costs. You must convince her to take you as a protector. This must be done, for the Republic."

Anakin was trapped and he knew it. There was no way he could refuse now, although it was also true that he could not have refused before.

"I will make contact with Supreme Chancellor Amidala immediately." Anakin stated, inclining his head to the ancient master.

"Very well." Master Yoda said, nodding. "Take Chancellor Amidala to a safe place, you must. There you will remain until called back, you are."

Anakin stood up, knowing that the meeting was over. "The will of the Council shall be done."

#*#*#*#*#

"The Jedi are trying to banish me again, Cordé. I will not allow them to take me away from my people." Padmé Amidala, Supreme Chancellor of the Republic stood at her window in the Senate building and gazed out at the bustling lanes of Coruscant.

"Well, considering you are Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, your people are everywhere, so that would be pretty difficult to do," Cordé said lightly, trying to relieve the visible tension in her friend's visage. "They're just trying to protect you, milady."

"And who will protect my people while they exile me to some remote backwater hole? This is exactly what my attackers want; they want me out of the heart of things so that they can move in and undermine everything that I've done. Well, I won't let it happen. Palpatine almost succeeded in that and I won't let his misguided supporters destroy everything all of us have worked hard so hard to accomplish. I won't go, Cordé. I won't."

"It's nice to see that you haven't changed at all."

Padmé grew cold at the sound of the voice. She slowly turned in dread, her heart jumping at the sight of the man standing in front of her. Anakin Skywalker: Jedi Master, 'Hero With No fear' and the man she had longed for since the moment he walked into her office in the Senate four years ago. So entranced was she with the man in front of her that she did not notice when her handmaiden wisely slipped out, leaving the two of them alone in her office.

"Ani?" As soon as the word was out of her mouth, she cursed herself. Could she have possibly said anything more intimate and out of place?

"Padmé." He said her name like a gentle caress on her cheek. The feeling it elicited in her immediately snapped her to attention. It had been years, _years_ since they had parted with the mutual decision that it would be selfish for them to pursue a relationship. The Republic needed them, _both_ of them, and they could not put their personal lives in the way of that. She should not be feeling these things for him, she _refused_ to feel this way about him.

"Master Skywalker," She said, drawing herself up taller. "I presume you're here to try to convince me to run away with you." Once again, Padmé winced. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ She thought angrily at herself. _Why do I keep saying the stupidest, most loaded things?_

"That's precisely what I want, Padmé." Anakin said lightly, amused by her choice of words, "I want you to run away with me. You can't stay here. People are trying to kill you."

"They're not going to scare me away, Anakin." She said coldly, as she briskly walked past him to her desk. "I have things to do here. I know why they sent you, they think that just because we have history, I won't reject you. Well, I won't go, Anakin, and you can't make me."

"Oh, really?" Anakin paused as he began to take off his Jedi robes. "Well, I guess I'll have to watch you here then. But I think that's going to be a little awkward."

"Awkward?" She echoed. "How is it going to be awkward?"

He stretched as he continued to make himself comfortable. "Well, with a place like this, it's easy for them to get you from…" He paused and looked around the large chamber, "…well, just about everywhere. So, that means I can't let you out of my sight. I'll have to be with you at all time; in the office, in your private chambers, in your bedroom…in the shower."

"In the shower?" She repeated incredulously.

"In the shower." Anakin confirmed, his voice low.

She tried to keep her expression neutral as she digested his words. Anakin would follow her everywhere she went? She would have to act like she didn't care about Anakin _everywhere_ she went?

"So," She said in resignation, "When do we leave?"

#*#*#*#*#

"Okay, Anakin. We have installed a decoy for the Chancellor, which should fool everyone long enough for the Jedi to find out who is behind these attacks. Take her to a secure location; we will contact you when we have more information." Obi-Wan's voice came clearly through the com, giving Anakin the instruction that he needed.

"Will do, Master." Anakin responded. "I will send confirmation when we have reached our destination."

"Very well. Be safe, my friend and may the Force be with you." With that, the comlink went off.

Anakin turned to Padmé who was silently standing near him, holding her bags. They were in a private waiting room awaiting their transport. Although he had convinced her, Padmé had made her reluctance known. Anakin knew this was not going to be an easy trip, but he would make it up to her…somehow. "Okay, Milady, let's go—"

"Before we do, let's get one things straight, here," Padmé said, sitting her bags down. "This arrangement is strictly professional. We decided long ago not to pursue a romantic relationship because we both knew that it was better for everyone."

"A long time ago?" Anakin interrupted, eyebrows raise, "It was only four years ago—"

"Nevertheless," Padmé continued, looking him in the eyes, "We are not trying to recapture anything here. You're here to protect me, and I'm here to stay alive. Remember that, Master Jedi."

"Padmé," Anakin began. "Where is this coming from? It doesn't have to be like that—."

"What part of what I said did you not understand?" She asked sharply, her voice raising. "I am Supreme Chancellor, and you are a Jedi. I do not have to follow your orders in any matter other than protection, so essentially, I am in charge. If you do not do as I say, I will put you before the Jedi Council on charges of inappropriate advances and insubordination."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Padmé regretted them. Anakin's eyes had widened in surprise and hurt. Then they grew cold and suddenly, her Ani was gone and in his place was the fabled Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker.

"Then it shall be as you have said, Lady Chancellor." He said expressionlessly, his face void of emotion.

"Wait," She said weakly, knowing that she had erred greatly, "Ani, I didn't mean it like—."

"I don't think it's appropriate to address me in that manner." He said coldly. "You may call me Master Skywalker." He turned away from her to face the door. "This area is secure, there is no danger to you here. I will guard the door outside. It's best if I gave you some space." Without another word, he left the waiting area.

Padmé stared after him, her eyes wide. He had never spoken to her like that before, had never turned away from her before. _But you have never threatened to report him to the Jedi either. Oh, Padmé, what have you done?_ She thought to herself, biting her lip.

_It's better this way,_ she told herself, _I can't let him risk his career for me. And him being here with me would be too much of a temptation for both of us. I did the right thing._

She knew that she had. So why did she feel so horrible?

_I did the right thing, _she repeated to herself like a mantra, _I did_. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying with all her might to believe that this was the truth.

End of the Chapter 14: If you liked it, please review. Reviewing is the only way my betas and I are paid for our work. And it's the only way I won't start throwing a BF. Thank you all.

**Chapter 15: Plain Sight**: Anakin and Padmé go into hiding.

((***If you loved this, please check out my other fic, **Chosen: Restoration**.))


	15. Plain Sight

Note 1: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 2: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21.

Note 3: This chapter is rated M. Reader's discretion is advised.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 15: Plain Sight**

**By: WrittinInStone**

"We're still on Coruscant." Padmé said, staring out of the window at her surroundings as the transporter came to a stop.

"Yes." Anakin responded.

"I thought we were hiding."

"We are."

"Then why are we still on Coruscant?"

"Because everyone, even the Jedi Council, believes that we are off planet. No one would ever think to look right under their noses."

"We're hiding in plain sight."

"Something like that." Anakin grabbed the bags. "After you, Lady Chancellor."

Padmé bit her lip as she descended out of the transport, more disturbed than she wanted to admit by his aloofness. She said nothing as she followed him out of the shuttle to a nondescript hovercraft waiting nearby. It had taken about an hour to get to their destination, and when Padmé saw the area, she had to visibly control her reaction. It was a dump. The housing units looked run down and rat infested and the people who sat outside in small groups all looked worn and weary, as if life had beaten them down more than they could bear.

"This is where we're staying?" She said finally, determined to match his coolness as they stopped at one of the more kept-up housing units. "This doesn't look like a very good area."

"Scared?" He asked quietly, as he quickly opened the door, "You said nothing would take you away from your people. Well, a lot of your people live in the slums, right here under your nose. Maybe now is a good time to get to know the ones who don't have more than six zeroes behind their names." He grabbed their bags and headed to the door.

Padmé drew up at his words as she followed him. "Are you implying that I only care about the rich citizens of the Republic? For your information, I have been working hard to eliminate slums such as these, to provide homes and jobs for the people in these horrid conditions. So, who do you think you are to say things like this about me?"

Anakin quickly opened the door and sat down the bags. "I would not presume to imply anything: you are the Supreme Chancellor and I am a mere Jedi, unworthy of your—"

"Okay, stop." Padmé said, grabbing him and twirling him around to face her, fury in her visage. "Master Skywalker, I don't think I like this side of you. What gives you the right to talk to me this way?"

"What? You don't like it? We're nothing to each other and this is the way I treat everyone that I can't fucking stand. So if you can't fucking handle it—"

Anger roaring inside of her like a lion, she reacted before she could think.

Anakin's head suddenly snapped to the right as Padmé hand connected with his cheek. Silence reigned as they both digested what she had done.

"You will never talk to me like that again." She said, her chest heaving. "Never in your _life_—"

She was cut off as suddenly, with a snarl on his lips, Anakin pulled her into his arms and crushed his mouth over hers, invading her mouth with his tongue. Padmé gasped as her knees immediately gave out on her and desire burst through her with vengeance, scattering every retort, every sharp word.

Anger pulsing through her, she grabbed his head and pulled him closer to her, wanting, no, _needing_ to be a part of him.

They said nothing as the sounds of passion filled the room. Padmé ran her hands frantically over his body, trying to do everything in her power to consume him. She gasped as Anakin ripped her dress, throwing it from her body. She attacked his clothing just as mercilessly, tearing his robe from his body.

She grabbed him tightly as he hoisted her into his arms. Padmé immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, her fingers grasping his blond locks.

She cried out as he slammed her against the wall, his mouth vigorously sucking her neck. "Oh, Force." She moaned as he began to pump his clothed hips into her center. "Oh, _Force_." She began to pant as he reached under panties and began to stroke her center. She bit back a cry of pleasure at the feeling of his hands inside her core and the feeling of his mouth on her neck. It felt so good, so fucking amazing.

She grabbed his ear in her mouth, biting hard to prevent from screaming. If Anakin felt the pain, he didn't react. He lowered Padmé long enough to pull his pants down, and then she was pushed back against the wall. She sighed in pleasure as she felt the head of his manhood against her entrance.

She paused as suddenly, he ceased his ministrations on her neck to look into her eyes. He held her gaze as he slowly, painstakingly pushed into her. She tensed, biting her lip, trying to ignore the unfamiliar sensation of being filled. She gave him a wobbly smile, trying to hide her discomfort from him. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion when he paused, his brows furrowing in confusion. Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up and a wide smile blossomed across his impossibly handsome face.

"You're untouched." He said, his teeth showing as he beamed at her. "You are a virgin." He paused again and looked at her, solemnity descending over his features. "I wish that mattered to me, right now. I wish that this knowledge gave me the strength to stop what I'm doing, to do the right thing, but it doesn't. I even wish it gave me the strength to make your first time any place that's not the wall of a shack in the middle of the slums, but it just doesn't. I'm going to make love to you, Padmé, do you understand what I'm telling you? I don't care if the fucking Jedi Council showed up outside right now with an army of Sith drones behind them. You are not going to leave this room a virgin."

She stared at him a long moment, digesting his words, and then she nodded. Before her head could finish moving, he had surged inside of her. She gasped, burying her head in his shoulder, pain radiating through her. She closed her eyes tightly as he moved out of her again only to slam back into her center. She threw her head back, pressing it into the wall as pain began to turn into pleasure.

"Oh, fuck the Force! Holy…!" Her scream trailed off as pleasure crashed through her with each thrust of Anakin's hips. She began to cry as she felt something building up within her.

"Anakin," She sobbed, "Oh, Force. Anakin!" She screamed as indescribable ecstasy flowed through her. A strange light flashed in front of her eyes as surge after surge of pleasure rushed through her, and then suddenly, she couldn't take it anymore and everything went dark.

#*#*#*#*#

The first thing she noticed when she woke was that she was on her back in a strange bed. She paused for a moment, confused, as she watched the rickety ceiling fan slowly turn on its axle.

It was then that she realized that she was not alone in the bed. She turned her head only to meet the somber gaze of Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker.

She looked at him, her eyes tracing every feature of his face. Finally she turned away from him, dragging her gaze back to the ceiling fan.

"We should not have done that." She said quietly. "That was a huge mistake."

"I know," He responded, turning to stare at the fan with her. They were silent for a long moment before he spoke again, "Even after our fight, we didn't last a whole day."

"We only lasted for about three hours." She said, sighing in annoyance.

"Let's look at the bright side, we did last for at least two hours and fifty-nine minutes."

"Was that supposed to be funny?" She inquired, turning to look at him once more.

"Yes." He said, meeting her gaze.

"It was."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They both turned back to watch the fan. Moments later, they both burst into laughter.

"You do realize how ridiculous this is, right?" Anakin said, shaking his head as his laughter faded.

"Yes, I do." She said, a smile in her voice. She hesitated before continuing, "But we both know we can't do this, Anakin. It's wrong. We both have obligations, duties. We made this one mistake, but we don't have to make it again."

Anakin was quiet for a moment before nodding. "You're right. We should just forget this ever happened and vow never to repeat it."

"Yeah," She said softly, hoping that he could not hear the sadness in her voice.

After living all her life without sex, she had finally lost her virginity to the only man who she would allow to touch her; Anakin Skywalker. She shuffled on her side so that she could stare at him comfortably. He was the 'Hero With No Fear', the face of the Republic's war against the remaining Separatists and well on his way to being one of the most powerful Jedi to ever live; yet he wanted her? It amazed her that this beautiful, talented, powerful man had chosen _her_.

Seeing her intensity, Anakin turned to gaze into her eyes. Slowly, his lips touched her shoulder and began to trail down the length of her arm. She closed her eyes with a sigh as his hands followed the path of his lips.

"Maybe we can hold off this decision until tomorrow." She said with a hesitant sigh of pleasure. "Yes, we'll stop tomorrow."

Padmé felt Anakin smile against her skin. She gently nuzzled his neck as he suddenly pulled her on top of him.

_Tomorrow_, she thought as she breathed in his scent. _We'll stop tomorrow_.

Mental thought began to diminish as he moved down her body to aggressively tongue her breasts. _Tomorrow_…the thought faded from her mind as pleasure overcame every coherent thought.

End of Chapter 15: If you loved it, **please review it**. I read all reviews and they really help the story to be updated quicker. Don't be shy, I want to know what you think.

**Chapter 16: Control:** Padmé and Anakin try to avoid a relationship.


	16. Control

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 3: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. You guys are amazing**.**

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 16: Control **

**By: WrittinInStone**

It had been two weeks, three days and four hours since they had made love.

Anakin Skywalker sat in the kitchen of their complex, trying to ignore the hardness of his groin. Padmé, oblivious to his agony, shuffled around the kitchen, cheerfully singing a tune.

He could not quell his smile at the sight of her happiness. Despite her initial reaction to the neighborhood, she had been determined to visit every one of their neighbors. At first, he was sure that someone would recognize her, but when no one showed any indication that they did, he relaxed a bit. He supposed it shouldn't surprise him. Seeing a person on the HoloNet and seeing them in person were two totally different things. Besides, Padmé was dressed in plain clothes; anyone who did not know her personally would be hard pressed to know who she was.

Anakin had to admit that he was in awe of her. In every way, Padmé was amazing to him and apparently, she was to others as well. In just two weeks, she had single-handedly created a true community in this poverty ridden complex. The people loved her, and often visited just to speak to her. The neighbors were even friendlier to each other due to Padmé's efforts to socialize the community. It was not as low profile as Anakin wanted, but because the risk of recognition was low, he did not deny her this.

Living with Padmé had been everything he thought it would be and more. Although they had managed to control themselves and avoid any more physical entanglements, they were becoming closer than they had ever been. Infatuation and the need for physical love had now been replaced with respect and most of all, a deep intimacy.

He adored her. She was funny, sarcastic, well versed, she was just…amazing to him. He wondered if she knew how he felt. Every time she caught him watching her, she would blush and look away. But Anakin always saw her smile as she did.

Anakin knew that this was dangerous. Although he knew it was much too late to prevent it, nothing good could come out becoming attached to her. He wasn't a fool; he realized how the real world worked. He could never be with Padmé. He had chosen to be a Jedi and its code he would honor until the day he died. But he loved her and tonight he would at least let her know how he felt.

As he sat there and watched her, he could not help but wonder if it had all been worth it. Being a Jedi and defeating the Sith was his destiny, but that was over…wasn't it? Couldn't he have what he wanted now?

His thoughts disturbed him. He was a Jedi, he loved being one and he was good at it. But Padmé…he _needed_ her. He did not know how he would bear going back to how they were before this time they had together.

"Anakin?"

He looked at Padmé to find her gazing at him, concern in her brown eyes. "Are you okay?"

He smiled reassuringly at her. "I'm perfect." He said gently, allowing his love for her to show.

Her eyes widened, then she nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "That's wonderful." She said, dropping what she was doing and coming to him. She sat in the chair and snuggled up next to him. He put his arm around her pulling her close.

They sat there for a long moment, reveling simply in being with the other. They had allowed themselves this small weakness; holding each other, and being close was all they had.

Finally Padmé spoke. "We're screwed, aren't we?" She said softly, sadness leaking through her voice.

"Yes." He said quietly, "Yes we are."

"I don't regret it though," She said, sitting up to look into his eyes, "I don't regret falling in love with you, or adoring you with every fiber of my being."

Anakin was silent as he felt a lump develop in his throat. "I love you, Padmé." He said, pulling her into his arms. "So very much. And I just wish…I wish that things weren't this way. I wish that we could be together."

"I know." She said. "But we'll be able to be together, even if it's in death. Somehow, I just know."

Anakin raised an eyebrow at her. "That sounds a little farfetched."

"Oh!" Padmé said, her mouth opening in an 'o' of mock surprise. "This coming from a Jedi? Blasphemy! You of all people should believe in an afterlife in the Force."

Anakin merely smiled. "It is not blasphemous at all. I will believe what you believe, milady."

She smiled, closing her eyes and leaning into his chest once more. "I wonder what's going on in the Senate."

"No!" Anakin said firmly, immediately. "I don't want you looking at any holovids, or watching any news or reading any holotablets. You are to remain uninformed young miss. Watch the soap operas."

"Did you really just suggest that I look at soap operas?" Padmé said, laughing, "You must be desperate."

"I'm not desperate at all," He retorted. "But I know how you are, Padmé. If you found out that something important was going on, you would try to jump ship and head back to the Senate. I can't allow that. Someone is surely there waiting to kill you."

Padmé let out a breath of exasperation. "Fine. No media. Okay?"

He nodded in satisfaction. "Good. Now, I won't have to restrain you when I go to the fresher."

Her eyebrow rose, "Like that would ever happen."

"Desperate times, milady," He said, grinning. He gently slid from under her and made his way to the bathing room. "Stay right here, I'll be right back."

"Fine, fine." She muttered, blowing him a kiss. "Go and abandon me for the fresher."

He shook his head in amusement as he went to relieve himself.

When he came back, a few minutes later, Padmé was not there. He rolled his eyes. "Padmé." He called, "This is childish!" He frowned when there was no answer.

"Padmé?" He called louder. He began to search the rooms for her. "Force, no! Padmé!" He yelled, fighting panic. Where was she? He ran to the bedroom. As he glanced inside, he spotted a yellow note folded neatly on the nightstand.

Opening it up, he groaned at what he read:

_A, _

_I know that you're going to be furious when you come out and find that I am gone, but I had to go back. A new law has been submitted to the Senate that I cannot allow to pass through. _

_I am traveling as cautiously as I can. I know you will catch up to me as soon as you are able. I await you at the Senate. _

_With all my love, _

_P_

Anakin closed his eyes as he crushed the note in his hand. Padmé had left for the Senate even after he _warned_ her of the danger. Why did she never listen?

Taking a deep breath, Anakin focused on what he needed to do. He needed to get to Padmé. As he strode out of the shack, he tried to ignore the feeling of doom that was creeping on him.

_I can't think of that now,_ he thought, allowing himself to fall into Jedi mode, _I must protect the Chancellor._

Pushing the feeling away, he quickly hotwired a speeder and started toward Coruscant.

#*#*#*#*#

Padmé took a deep breath as she prepared to enter the viewing chambers. Even through the door, she could hear the screams of the crowd waiting to hear the debates on the new law. The debate was being broadcasted live on the HoloNet to give the public an opportunity to hear the case for either side. It was a move to increase public participation in politics.

It had not taken her long to get here; indeed the ride back seemed much shorter than the ride there. When she arrived at the Senate building, her attendants had been surprised and pleased to see her, falsely assuming that the threat was past. She did not disabuse them of the notion, but had merely allowed them to prepare her for the debates.

_I wonder where Anakin is_, she thought as she heard her name announced. _He should have been here by now. _She had to admit, it worried her. She did not know if it was the truth or if it was her guilt talking. She had left him when she said she wouldn't, but Anakin would understand when she explained in person. He always did.

Pasting a serene smile on her face, Supreme Chancellor Padmé Amidala entered the viewing chambers.

#*#*#*#*#

The Jedi had been surprised to see Padmé walk into the chambers. For obvious reasons, they could not ask her where her protector was. It was unsettling for Padmé to see that a good portion of the Jedi Council would be among those viewing the debates in a nearby room, but she quickly pushed it aside. She needed to focus on the issue at hand.

The attack happened so quickly, that later, those who watched it did not realize that there was even an attack until the first person was killed.

They came in through the window. The two attackers were bold and obviously willing to die on this mission. Immediately on the alert, the Jedi quickly had their lightsabers at the ready, but the attackers had prepared for that.

As soon as they entered the room, one of them threw what looked to be a magnetic bomb device on the door, effectively sealing them from the Jedi that were surely running to help.

The other one engaged the Jedi in the room, quickly throwing a device on each of their bodies. There were a few clicking sounds before the Jedi exploded, their remains splattering on the rest of the people in the room.

Padmé looked on in wide-eyed shock as the attackers quickly began to slaughter the occupants of the room. Screams of terror filled the air as the Senators tried to find a way out. She watched in horror as, one by one, her peers were made to splatter over the room. Within moments, she was the only one left.

She began to back away, cold fear making her throat ache. She had been so stupid to come here. Anakin had told her, but she hadn't listened. All of these people were dead because of her.

The attackers said nothing as they slowly moved in on her, no doubt wanting her death to be the grand finale on their nightmarish reality Holonet show.

Padmé stared at them, fighting to regain her composure. People had died because of her foolishness. The least she could do was die with dignity.

She lifted her chin as one of the assassins raised his hand to throw his device. Then suddenly, they all turned to the window to see a darkly cloaked figure sail through. The figure tumbled and then flipped over the attackers' head to land on his feet in front of Padmé.

End of Chapter 16: If you loved it, please review it. Lots of love means quick updates.

**Chapter 17: To The End**: Anakin defends Padmé


	17. To The End

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 3: To Young at Heart21 and my new beta, authorwithissues. Thank you, you guys are amazing.

**Note 4: Incredibly sorry for taking so long to update. School just started, I needed a new beta, and...it was just a lot. Anyway, if you love it, review it! We don't want any more long periods between updates like that, now do we?**

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 17: To The End**

**By: WrittinInStone**

It was Anakin.

The assassins paused at the sight of him, obviously aware that they were not fighting just any Jedi.

Padmé felt mixed feelings surge through her at the sight of him, the strongest being joy and relief. That relief quickly turned to horror as she assessed the state he was in. He was bent over, with his left hand grabbing his right arm. She could see that it was burned badly and he was bleeding from what looked to be numerous blaster wounds all over his body. His lightsaber hung limply from his hand and his eyes bespoke of immense pain.

Anakin said nothing as he tried to settle himself, his mind in turmoil from all that he had discovered. After learning that Padmé had left, he had frantically made his way to the Senate only to be ambushed by two assassins lying in wait for him. Following a short, intense battle, he had defeated them, but not without sustaining serious injuries. Despite this, the battle had been fruitful; he had learned that the assassins were trained by Palpatine and that there were two more who would be attempting to kill Supreme Chancellor Amidala at the Senate debates. The reason for their self-imposed task was simple: with the death of their Master, they had sworn to bring down the great Anakin Skywalker as well as the Republic he so staunchly defended. It had pleased and surprised them when they realized that targeting the new Supreme Chancellor could do both.

Now, as Anakin stood in front of the assassins, he took a deep breath and gathered the Force to him, allowing it to calm him: he had to concentrate. He could not worry about the fact that the all the occupants of the room were dead, he could not worry about the fact that the whole galaxy was watching this horror unfold. He was here for one reason and that was to protect Padmé.

As he straightened, he subtlety maneuvered her so that his body was in front of hers, shielding her from any harm.

He did not move, did not show any pain as he used the Force to call his second lightsaber to his empty hand. He slowly moved into Jar'Kai; the dual-blade combat form and waited.

He allowed his chin to come up defiantly, as though daring the assassins to try him. The attack came immediately with the assassins throwing the same device that they had at all the other. Anakin quickly used the Force to throw the small objects onto a new flight path out of the window.

The assassins swiftly switched tactics. They pulled out hidden blasters and began to fire.

Anakin continued to draw deep breaths as he deflected the blasts back at the attackers who quickly maneuvered out of the way. He hoped that the Jedi were watching this because their movements would tell them what he was unable: these assassins were trained by someone who knew the ways of the Force. It would not be difficult for them figure out who.

When it became obvious that blasters would not defeat the Chosen One, the attackers drew their blades.

This changed the entire game. Fighting with blasters was something that a person with a trigger finger could do, but fighting with a saber meant following the unspoken rules of sword combat, the most important rule being absolute focus. For now, he could leave Padmé relatively unguarded. The assassins would not go after her until he was dead.

Anakin went into position just as the attackers struck. The assassins knew how to work together and they used this to their advantage. When one struck, the other slyly withdrew, only to strike together the moment Anakin thought that he saw a pattern.

It was exhausting; the attackers worked in perfect unison to wear Anakin down. As it continued, Anakin withdrew deeper into the Force, forcing his tormented body to continue to move. _I cannot fail_, he thought calmly as he swung his swords to block the blow of one assassin, and then the other. _I will _not_ fail_. And as he fought, the thing that was time faded, pain had no meaning. He did not even acknowledge the fact that his life's blood flowed out of him with every stroke that he blocked, with every blow that he dodged.

He was one with the Force; it was the only thing keeping him together.

And then suddenly, it was over. He raised his blade to block a blow only to realize that nothing came to meet his saber. Slowly, he came out of his Force-trance, but with the advent of his release from the Force, everything that had retreated from the forefront of his mind rushed back into psyche.

He swayed as he felt his vision grow dark. He was dying.

Of their own accord, his hands released his lightsabers and they fell to the ground; he no longer had the strength to hold them. It was time.

"Padmé."

It was the only thing he could say as he fell to his knees.

#*#*#*#*#

Padmé crouched, huddled in the corner as she watched Anakin fight for her life. And with each cut that he received, with each wound that was administered to him, she died inside.

She watched as he parried and then feinted before slicing his blade through one of the assassins, cutting him in half. But Anakin did not stop; he quickly turned to face his other opponent head on.

It was like watching an artist at work. It was the way he moved, the way he used the Force; she knew that she would never forget the sight of him fighting for the rest of her life. It was danger, it was grace, it was beautiful.

Padmé opened her mouth to scream out a warning as the last assassin suddenly appeared behind him. She felt her heart drop as the man sliced through the place where Anakin had been, only to find that he wasn't there. The Jedi Master materialized behind the attacker and thrust his lightsaber into his heart. The attacker dropped like a droid whose wires malfunctioned.

Anakin moved again to block, as though unaware that he had defeated all of his enemies. She knew the instant that he realized that it was over; he allowed his arms to rest at his sides and he blinked as though coming out of a trance.

He was like an angel of death. He stood in the center of the room, his back to her, and his lightsabers pointing in an arc.

She rushed toward him, ready to assist him in whatever way he needed.

But then his lightsabers fell out of his hands to the floor and Padmé gasped.

"Padmé."

Her names on his lips told her everything. It was so full of emotion, so full of regret. Her eyes filled with tears as she threw herself to the floor next to him. She forgot about everything that had been done, everyone who was watching. Dimly she was aware of the Jedi arriving through the broken window of the room. But Padmé didn't care, she only had eyes for Anakin.

"Ani." She said, trying to keep the sobs out of her voice. "Ani, you're going to be okay. Please, just hold on."

He winced as she pulled him into her arms, allowing his head to rest against her chest. His breathing was shallow and she could see his eyes cloud with horrific pain.

"Padmé." He turned to look at her. "I'm dying."

"No," She said, agony in her voice. "Don't say things like that. You're going to live. All we have to do is get you to a medical—."

"Padmé." He said quietly, his voice growing hoarse. "I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes, fighting the need to break down. She would be strong, she could not deny the truth; Anakin deserved her honesty in these final moments of his life no matter how much it destroyed her.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," She whispered as tears streamed down her face. "You did well."

"Yeah. I rock." He said, trying to smile at her. Suddenly he coughed and blood spilled out of his mouth. She hastily moved to gently wipe it off with the hem of her dress.

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it feebly. "Tell Obi-Wan," He paused and closed his eyes against another wave of agony, "Tell Obi-Wan that I never would have made it without him. He was more than a mentor to me, he was my brother."

She nodded, and glanced over at Obi-Wan who among the many Jedi who filled the room. Obi-Wan did not even bother to hide his anguish. Tears streamed freely down his face.

Suddenly Anakin's body began to shake violently. He looked her squarely in the face as his body began violently shutting down. "I love you, Padmé." He said, staring intently at her. "I love you."

She grabbed him tightly, pulling him to her. "And I love you, Anakin." She sobbed. "I love you so much! I love you! Never ever forget that, Anakin! Never!"

He held her gaze until slowly, his body grew still. Her eyes widened in terror as the light faded from his eyes and his body grew limp.

The Jedi gave a collective gasp as the enormous Force-presence that was Anakin Skywalker disappeared. To them, it felt as though all the wind had been knocked out of them.

Padmé sat in shock as she stared down at her love. She shook him, although she knew that he was gone. Suddenly, her eyes widened as his body began to glow before it slowly disappeared, leaving behind only his Jedi robes.

The Force had taken him.

"Anakin," She said brokenly, "Ani." Padmé clutched her heart as felt herself break in every possibly way; emotionally, mentally, even physically; it felt as though her heart had burst in her chest.

She clamped her hands over her ears as she shattered. Padmé buried her head in Anakin's robes and emitted a high-pitched scream from the depths of her soul. The noise seemed to echo through the room, through the crowd listening in horror, it bounced off every iota in the galaxy, effecting everyone who heard.

She was dying, breaking, shattering, splintering into a million pieces—

It was then that everything paused, everything went silent. And then suddenly, Padmé was ripped from the body of the woman screaming in unimaginable agony.

She watched in wide-eyed confusion as she floated above the scene like a ghost. It was then that her memories began to flood back into her. Anakin, her husband, the River of Scars, the trials. This was a trial!

But before anything else could sink in, everything began to quickly speed by her. She did not know if she was moving quickly or if she was standing still and everything else was moving. But she did not care. She wanted to see him, _needed_ to see him, to touch him.

Then, just like that, she was back in the boat on the River of Scars.

"Padmé?"

She whirled around and there stood her husband. He looked pale, as though drained of all of his energy.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his gaze running over her. "Everything is alright now. It was just a trial. Everything is alright."

"Ani?" She said the word brokenly. The word was full of agony, fresh with the knowledge that she had caused the death of the one she loved most. But he was here! He was not a pile of robes in her arms, he was here, right in front of her.

"Anakin!" She screamed throwing herself onto him. That had been the worst thing that she had ever experienced in her existence, even worse then her true death on Polis Massa.

"I love you, Anakin and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" She wept in torment, "I love you so much!"

She clung to him, sobbing loudly and wetly into his robes. He wrapped his arms around her, understanding more than anything the torment that she was experiencing. And as Padmé continued to wail, Anakin continued to hold her.

End of Chapter 16: **(Waves hand) "You will review." :]  
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**Chapter 17: Mustafar**: Anakin takes the next trial alone.

**A/N: My dream is to get at least 200 reviews for this story, so I'm asking, if you haven't reviewed, do it at least ONCE for me! There are only...three chapters left in this story, but I know we can make it! Everyone who gives a review will have my gratitude for all eternity.**

**A/N2: Also, if anyone is wondering about Chosen: Restoration updates (formerly known as Twilight's Rain), it will be updated early next week! Promise.  
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	18. Mustafar

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 3: Thank you to Young at Heart21 and my new beta, authorwithissues. You guys are amazing**.**

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 18: Mustafar**

**By: WrittinInStone**

Anakin and Padmé sat in the boat and gazed silently upon the still water. She nestled in his arms, content at the feel of his body next to hers. Anakin held her close, with his head resting gently on hers and his arms wrapped around her.

It had taken both of them quite some time to recover from their trials in the alternate universes. Those realities had been hard on both of them, and they left them feeling as though they had lost something important.

The last reality had stripped them of their memories and placed them in a world where they had denied their love for one another for the good of the rest of society. The Republic had not been turned into a Galactic Empire, and the Jedi had not been destroyed, but they had suffered much personal hell for denying the other. They were not sure how to feel about that reality, but thankfully, it was the last alternate universe they were forced to endure. They could not tell for sure why, but perhaps the Jedi felt as though they had learned the intended lesson.

After that, the next trials came immediately. They faced countless trials confronting those that Anakin had wronged in life as Darth Vader. He was met by the denizens of the planets that he destroyed, the helpless citizens that he had killed in fits of rage, even those he had tortured and killed.

The trials were hard and long. In some, Anakin was forgiven, but in others, he was met with fury and hatred. The two lovers remained in these places the longest, making amends in whichever way the victim chose. Anakin and Padmé did not give up hope; they were determined to obtain something, _anything_ that resembled reconciliation. And when absolution had finally been reached, when they had finally been given forgiveness, they moved on.

Now, they sat here, waiting for their next trial to begin. Although Anakin's spirit faced a new level of exhaustion with each test, it also grew light, as though the deeds that darkened his soul were finally being erased.

"Padmé," Anakin said softly, nuzzling the top of her head, "Have I told you I loved you recently?"

"Nope," she said, a smile gracing her lips. "But you can rectify that immediately if you want."

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. "More than life or death."

She turned up to face him, her eyes shining. "I know. And I love you."

They fell silent, reveling in their love for one another.

"Anakin," she said after a while. "I think that we're near the end."

"What? Of our journey?" he asked, smelling the back of her neck.

"Yes. It's almost as though I can feel it."

"I know what you mean," he said quietly. "I feel it as well. We are at the end."

She hesitated before speaking again, "I'm afraid, Anakin. I don't know what this next trial is, but…I don't know." Padmé shivered and pulled his arms closer around her, as though trying to stave off a chill. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Whatever it is, we'll face it together," he said, burying his face in her hair "We are together now, we will never be parted. Ever." The words came out muffled against her head, but rang true in their sincerity.

She smiled, hugging him tighter. "You're right. I'm just a worrywart."

He laughed. "Worrywart. That's a funny word."

She laughed too, enjoying his lightheartedness. The trials that they had experienced had been the most trying and difficult situations she had ever been through in her existence –and that was in a life filled with war and the constant threat of death. Several of their tests had come very close to breaking them, had come very close to making them give up.

Yet they had persevered. Together. And as they did, she saw the change in her husband. It lifted her heart and destroyed the dark places in her soul. They were going to be alright. Somehow, she just knew it. They were going to be fine.

"Anakin," Padmé said in concern. "We're slowing down again."

"Yes," he said with a weary sigh. "We are."

As soon as the boat came to a complete stop, they both could feel that this trial would be different. After going on hundreds such tests, they had began to discern which trials would entail what.

"So much for my going with you," she said ruefully. "This one is for you alone, my heart."

"I see," Anakin said, uneasiness leaking into his voice. "I wonder what it is."

"It must be something major; those are usually the only type of trials I can't accompany you on," Padmé said, taking his hands in hers. "Please be careful, Anakin."

"Hey," He said, grinning at her. "Aren't I always?"

She did not even dignify that with a response. She merely pulled him into her arms, kissed him and released him.

"Come back soon, Anakin. I will be waiting for you."

He nodded, and with that, jumped out of the boat and into his next trial.

#*#*#*#*#

As everything began to whip past him at immense speed, Anakin immediately recognized where he was going. He never would forget the smell of this place; the stench that the sulfur created made forgetting very difficult. But it wasn't just the memory of the odor; it was the knowledge that the stink had become a permanent part of him as Darth Vader. It was just one more memory that made him despise this place.

When he was finally placed gently on his feet, he took a slow turn, taking in the wretched planet that heralded his true fall to the Dark Side. Mustafar. He was on Mustafar. This is where he choked his beloved wife… this is where he broke the bonds with his best friend, Obi-Wan.

He closed his eyes against the memories that assailed him. This was a place filled with memories of pain and agony. He could still hear the echoes of the Separatists as his lightsaber tore through their defenseless bodies. He could still remember the look of devastation on Obi-Wan's face, could still remember his words.

_You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you!_

He could still see the look on Padmé's face as he strangled the will to live out of her. He would never, ever forget the look of utter shock, of indescribable agony that crossed her face before she fell, unconscious to the ground. It surely must have been what it looked like to see a heart shattering.

Finally, Anakin opened his eyes and spoke, fully aware of the person who had been there upon his arrival:

"Of course it would be you here in this place. This is my final trial, is it not, Obi-Wan?"

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in front of him, silent. Anakin figured that this was fitting. There was only one other person who's heart had been so brutally broken by his fall into the Dark Side and it was that of his master and best friend. It had that scarred his soul, the overwhelming regret he felt at what he did to his master. Yet another mark of woe on his perfectly imperfect spirit.

"Yes, it is," the Jedi Master said simply. "This is your final test." With that, he used the Force to bring his lightsaber to his hand.

Anakin closed his eyes and shook his head, pain beginning to rest in his heart. He opened them to gaze solemnly at his former master. "I'm not fighting you, Obi-Wan." He had made that mistake once; he would not make it again.

"Oh? You didn't have a problem trying to kill me before. Arm yourself, Anakin, because you don't have a choice." Obi-Wan moved forward as they began to circle one another.

The Knight shook his head, his eyes hardening. "I was Darth Vader then, in the grip of the Dark Side. I'm not that person anymore; I'm Anakin."

"Is that the story you've been trying to sell everyone? Because I know for a fact, that isn't true. Face it, Anakin. Darth Vader was alive a long time before you decided to storm the Jedi Temple and kill defenseless Younglings. Even now, Vader is alive and well. You keep him around just in case you need to commit an atrocity."

Anakin shook his head; the words striking him to his heart like an arrow hitting a target. "Obi-Wan, why are you saying these things?" They couldn't be true, he would not allow them to be true.

"Why? Because it's time that you understood, Anakin, and it's time that you made amends for what you did to me. I raised you from a boy, made you a Jedi although the Council did not approve. I was there for you, I defied the Council on numerous occasions for you and you betrayed me. For power." The Jedi Master's voice echoed in pain, but his body bespoke a deep anger, a deep resentment.

"No," Anakin denied. "I didn't do it for power; I had to save Padmé."

"So, Padmé was more important than I? More important than all the Jedi, than the freedom of the Republic? You allowed an evil despot to enslave the galaxy because of your love for this one person?"

"I loved her! More than anything!" the Knight spat at the older man, anger beginning to well up, a cousin to his pain. "You wouldn't understand, Obi-Wan! You never allowed yourself to love!"

"But I did, Anakin. I loved _you_, and it only brought pain and shame." Obi-Wan shook his head in disbelief, his voice growing quiet. "It's truly amazing that even after all of those trials, you still don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Anakin asked angrily. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"This isn't about Darth Vader, Anakin. It never was." The Jedi Master paused, and looked at his old Padawan solemnly. When he spoke again, his voice was emotionless. "This is about you and your inability to let go, to do what's right even in the face of personal loss. If you had just come to the Jedi with the truth about Padmé, or even destroyed Palpatine, everyone's future would be different. But even now, in death, you refuse to give her up. That is why losing her will be your last trial."

Anakin stopped as ice ripped through his system. "What?" he questioned. It was barely a whisper.

"Padmé was the reason that you turned to the Dark Side, Padmé was the reason that so many people's lives were destroyed. She is the thing you love the most, so living without her for all eternity will truly right all the wrongs that you had done. If you don't choose now to give her up, then all the people that you have hurt will suffer for eternity."

Anakin began shaking his head as soon as Obi-Wan spoke. "That can't be. What the hell was the point in going through all those trials?" The Knight watched the older man as he struggled with his raging emotions. It was too much for him; he felt shock, rage, resentment… _fear_. He would not give up Padmé. He would not do it.

"You had to face everyone that you hurt. You had to see their faces, to feel their pain in order to truly understand what is at stake. You had to face those trials, but they were only pretests. This is the final exam."

"No," Anakin said, his voice growing hard. "There must be another way. I promised her that I would come back for her."

"You must choose, Anakin. Live with Padmé in Paradise and allow all those that you have hurt to live in agony, or leave her and suffer, knowing that although you will surely never see her again, those that you destroyed will have peace at last."

"I won't do it, Obi-Wan," Anakin said quietly, staring steadily into Obi-Wan's eyes. "Don't make me choose. I won't give her up. I won't."

"So, you would allow countless innocents to suffer forever?" Obi-Wan asked softly. "Even me?"

Anakin looked away from him. He could not look his Master in the eye as his heart raced in his chest. He had done it in life; he had sacrificed everyone for Padmé, only to lose her in the end through his own machinations. But he had her now… _he had her_. So, the question was, could he live the rest of his existence with the guilt that was even now twisting his gut? Or could he live the rest of his life without Padmé? There was no choice, really. The former he could live with, the latter, he could not.

"Obi-Wan—" he whispered, his turmoil threatening to consume him. "I'm sorry— "

Then he stopped as he turned around. He was no longer on Mustafar; he was back in the boat.

End of Chapter 18: If you loved it, please review.

**Chapter 19: Sacrifice**: Anakin's decision.

**A/N:** Thank you SOOO much to the many people who reviewed! My mind is well and truly blown; I have gotten more reviews for the last chapter than I have ever gotten for this story. It was amazing and it made me cry. It was a good cry. (Sorry if that sounds cryptic, but I am having a seriously awesome LOTR marathon here. All three of them, back to back, extended edition. Yeah. I know. Awesome.)

But there are only two chapters after this! We are seriously winding down here, people! So, if you love this story and you love me (*wink, *wink), please review! Help me reach my goal! **Don't you think this story deserves it?** If so, review. =]

Thank you again for reading, alerting, or marking either myself or my story, as a favorite. Thank you.


	19. Sacrifice

Note 1: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me, only the contents of this Verse.

Note 2: To my beta readers Young at Heart21 and authorwithissues; thank you**.**

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 19: Sacrifice**

**By: WrittinInStone**

At his sudden arrival, Padmé jumped up hastily, surprise on her face.

"Anakin!" she said in delight. "You're back already! That must not have been much of a test." She grabbed the rail of the boat to keep herself on balance as it began to move forward.

Anakin shook his head as looked at her, a lump in his throat. Fear and anger still beat in his heart, and seeing his wife did little to soothe him; Obi-Wan's words still echoed in his mind.

At the look on his face, Padmé's smile faded and she frowned. "Ani? Is something wrong?" she asked, concern written on her features.

"No!" he said, forcing a smile. "Everything is fine. Everything is perfect. The last test is over. We should be in Paradise soon, my love. You and I, together for eternity."

Anakin felt as though he had been punched in the stomach at the look that blossomed over Padmé's face. It was joy, happiness, relief… It made him feel ill. How could he tell her what Obi-Wan wanted him to do? He couldn't, he _wouldn't_. Caught up in the moment, Padmé threw her arms around his neck, not noticing how stiff his body was. He hugged her tightly, pulling her shaking body close to him.

"We've been on this River for so long," Padmé said, tears in her voice. "That I sometimes thought that we would never get off. But now, we've finished. We've finally reached the end. We've made amends, we righted the wrongs and now everyone can be at peace."

He had to tell her, he couldn't keep this from her. "Padmé," he began.

"Anakin, look!" she interrupted with a frown, pointing at an object in the distance. "There's another boat over there, but there's no one inside. All this time we've been on this journey and we've never seen another boat. I wonder what this is about?"

He said nothing, his insides cold as ice as they neared the boat. _Force, please, no, _he thought desperately, his eyes closing in despair. _Please, just no. I will do anything else,_ anything_. There must be another way._

"Anakin," she said, fear leaking through her voice. "What's going on?"

Anakin looked at Padmé and knew what he had to do. For the first time since becoming Vader, he could do what was right simply for its sake. He had to repeat this mantra to himself, because he felt as though he was being destroyed from the inside out.

Suddenly, he snatched her into his arms, holding her as tight as he could. When he finally released her and stepped back, Padmé was horrified to see tears streaming down his face.

"Anakin," she said, her own eyes filling with tears. "You're scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong."

After a long moment he finally spoke. "From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I was in love with you. You were so beautiful I thought you were an angel. But then I saw your kindness, your spirit and I fell in love with you even more. Over the time that we were separated, I never could stop thinking about you. I'd see you in my dreams, and in those dreams you were mine. Obi-Wan could never understand why I was so eager to sleep, but when I saw you at night…" He paused as he searched for the words. "It helped me to go on, to continue with my mission no matter how bad it was." Padmé smiled at his words. They were echoes of a memory, and just as sweet as the first time she heard them.

"Then we came back to Coruscant and I saw you again, and you proved that everything I thought about you was true. You were just as amazing, just as courageous, just as beautiful as you were when I was nine." He smiled softly, his eyes glowing as he remembered the first time he laid eyes on her. It was like he had never truly seen beauty before she walked into Watto's shop and smiled at him. Grace was the garment she wore, and poise and kindness were her handmaidens. That day would always be marked as the moment of his conception, the moment that life was breathed into him.

Anakin took a deep breath, praying to the Force for strength as he continued. "Spending time with you on Naboo was…_magical_. I discovered that the reality of you was so much better than the dream. And when I was went to Tatooine for my mother? When I found out what happened to her?" His throat constricted with awe as he remembered how she had not rejected him even though if she had, no sane person would have blamed her.

"You… you… _comforted_ me," he continued, shaking his head in disbelief as though he still could not comprehend what she had done for him. "You made me feel as though I could go on even after her death, even after what _I_ did. Obi-Wan called and we went to Geonosis where we were promptly captured." The memory of their adventure on that wretched planet still made him smile; it was the adventure that changed his life.

"We were moments from being executed!" he said, eyes flaring as he got into the story. "We were surrounded by Geonosians with no way out."

Anakin moved close to her, his eyes smiling with love as he grabbed her chin and tipped it up so he could stare into her eyes. "But then you said those words to me. You told me that you _loved_ me…_you love me_."

He closed his eyes, still able to feel the soaring elation that filled him at her words. "And, Padmé, when you said those words, a herd of Gundarks could have trampled me and I wouldn't have felt a thing," he said, laughing softly, smiling at her and showing beautiful white teeth.

Padmé giggled at the shared memory of that time. She remembered that moment vividly. She remembered the sand and the natives, and the sun, but mostly, she remembered the look on his face when she said those three words. She would never forget that look or the kiss that followed. Being captured and threatened with public execution had been worth it.

"We married mere months after that," he said quietly, cupping her cheek in his hand. "And it confirmed what I knew all along; I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you." He paused, his eyes glowing with the memory of that perfect moment.

Padmé smiled as her heart filled with joy. She would never forget the moment she became Padmé Skywalker, the moment that she chose this man over anything and everyone else.

He kissed her check softly before pulling away. "With the advent of the Clone Wars…" Anakin trailed off shaking his head at the memories of war. "Things got bad. They got really bad, Padmé. But no matter how horrible things got, no matter how much death and pain and _suffering_ I saw, I was able to make it through and it was only because I _always_ knew that you were home on Coruscant, waiting for me." He shook his head, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"I didn't think I could become any happier than I was just being with you, but then you became pregnant and it was the greatest gift that had ever been bestowed upon me. I was so happy, Padmé…so _damn happy_! I just…" A flash of pain crossed his face before he regained his composure. He _had_ been happy, content. How had everything messed up to quickly and so… _spectacularly_?

Anakin paused and took a deep breath, trying hard to force the sadness out of his voice. "…that's when the dreams came. I was so scared of losing you, so damn _terrified_ that I lost it. All I could think about was saving you; nothing else mattered, _nothing_. I went to Master Yoda for help, but he told me to let go of that which I was afraid to lose. I was so angry, I could have run him through with my lightsaber. He didn't understand how I feel about you, how much I love you." He broke off to stare into space for a moment.

It was so easy to think about the past and question the things that he did, berate himself for the things he should have done. He knew it was to no avail, but he couldn't bring himself to stop.

"I went to the opera with Palpatine a few days later and he offered me the one thing I could not resist: you. He told me that the Dark Side held the keys to immortality and that if I became his apprentice, together we would find a way to save your life. I accepted his offer and became his slave because I thought it would spare you." His words trailed off bitterly. If only he could go back in time and change his mistakes! He would not have so many _regrets_. _So many_ _regrets_…

Anakin took another deep breath as he turned away from his wife, his shame making it difficult to look at her. "I destroyed so many lives, all because I would not give you up, all because I could not live without you. I did so much wrong that it makes me sick," he spat, drowning in self-disgust.

"But now… _now_…" He smiled bitterly at the irony of it all. "I finally have a chance to make everything right."

"Anakin," Padmé said, her voice shaking with fear. "What are you saying?" She had gone through _hell_ to be here with him; surely she would not be forced to watch him walk away!

He began to gasp as pain lanced through his heart. For a moment, he simply looked at her, knowing that he was about to _shatter_. Is this how it felt to be torn into two? He could not say the words, he could _not_... but he had to. "I have to leave you, Padmé," he gasped, feeling as though his soul was withering away with each word. "I have to leave you."

"Wait, what? Anakin!" She gasped as knives of fear struck her in the chest. "Why!"

"I was given a choice," he choked, turning back to face her. "And I have to choose the right one because I know that you could never love a man who would willingly hurt innocents." He wrapped his arms around himself, hoping that it would keep him from falling apart.

"Anakin, wait!" she screeched in agony. "Can't we talk about this? There _must_ be some other way. There _must be_!" She grasped her head, unable to accept what he was saying to her. "We went through all those _trials_—!"

Her words were cut short as she was once again pulled into his arms. "I wish there were," he said, his voice strangled with despair. "But there isn't. This is the only way that I can make amends to all those I have harmed. I have to live without that which I love the most:_ you_."

"Anakin, no. _Please, _no!" she begged, sobbing. "_Please_!"

"_Padmé_." He grabbed her shoulders roughly and looked deeply into her eyes. It felt surreal, holding her, gazing at her. It would be the last time he ever saw her, the last time he would ever feel complete. Surely this was more tormenting than _any_ hell. How could the Land of Weeping and Sorrow possibly be _any_ worse?

He opened his mouth to speak the last words he would ever say to his beloved. "_I love you_, Padmé," he whispered, pouring all his devotion into those words. "I love you more than _anything_. Never, ever forget that. _Ever_."

He held her for a second longer before Force-jumping into the nearby boat. It began to move as soon as his feet landed. Anakin knew the jump was a mere few meters, so why did it feel as though they were on different sides of the Universe?

"Wait!" she screamed, running up the pontoon boat, trying to get near him. "Come back, Ani! There must be another way! _Come back_! _Please!_"

He covered his ears to ignore her cries, feeling his spirit was splintering into nothingness.

"Anakin, _come back_!" she continued to beg hysterically. "_Please_, Ani. _Please_!"

"I'm doing the right thing," Anakin said to himself hollowly, fully aware of the fact that his soul had been left in the boat with his wife. He pressed his hands to his ears tighter, chanting relentlessly, desperately trying to block his beloved out. "I'm doing the right thing. _I'm doing the right thing_."

He curled into a ball and held himself tightly, his despair an unstoppable tsunami. It was all he could do, and maybe, if he squeezed hard enough, he would perish.

And as the boat steadily moved further away from Padmé, her screams grew softer. But when her voice finally faded, and the waves of her agony were little more than faint ripples in the water, the echoes of her cries still rang clearly in his soul.

#*#*#*#*#

He didn't know how long he floated, how long he drifted.

But it didn't matter.

Nothing did.

He was warm...

He was cold….

His heart beat…yet…

He was dead.

Pain, so much pain.

Agony

So gray…

He just wanted…

Something.

Anything.

Peace.

He wanted it to end.

End of Chapter 18: If you love my story, or love me, please review!

**Chapter 20**: ?

A/N: I want to thank everyone who went the extra mile and reviewed for this fic! It makes me really happy! So I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If you haven't reviewed at ALL, please do so! My goal is 200 reviews, at least, for this fic. Help me to make this happen!

*****IMPORTANT*****

**Dear Readers:**

So…I am in the market to write a new fic. My story, Soul's Scars, is almost done, so I will be working on a story in addition to Chosen: Restoration really soon.

The problem is, I'm in a pickle as to what to begin! I've been thinking about doing another story in another fandom, either a Troy fic (featuring Achilles and Briseis) or a LOTR fic (featuring Legolas and an OC). Or…I could just do another SW fanfiction which would feature Darth Vader and Padmé.

Since I've been going back and forth, I've decided to make this easier on myself and let my readers decide what fic I should write next. I do realize that the results may be skewed in SW's favor, but I also realize that people don't read JUST SW fanfiction. So…if you want to have a voice in what I write, please go to my profile and vote in the poll that I have provided.

**IF YOU DON'T VOTE IN THE POLL, YOUR VOTE WILL NOT BE COUNTED!** Sorry, it's not fair and impartial if people do not use the poll.

The results will be revealed on…Tuesday! It's not much time, but it should be enough. I have amazing ideas for all of them, so… choose which one you would prefer. Just make my life easier. LOL.

**WrittinInStone **


	20. Soul's Healing

Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.

Note 2: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.

Note 3: Thank you to my beta readers Young at Heart21 and authorwithissues. I could not have completed this fic without you.

**Soul's Scars **

**Chapter 20: Soul's Healing**

**By: WrittinInStone**

"I think he's coming around. Anakin, it's time to wake up. _Anakin_."

The voice seemed to be coming from far away, insistent that he wake although he didn't want to. He tried to sink back into unconsciousness. It was the closest thing to not existing that he could get and they would not take this from him too.

"Time to use drastic measures, it is. Familiar with Skywalker's sleeping habits, I am," an amused voice echoed out. "Like a stone, he sleeps."

"It's embarrassing Master Yoda," the other voice complained. "You should have seen him on Zaadja. We were being overrun by droids and he was sawing logs in the tent. It was hard to even show my face to the other generals, after that. I was mortified." A smile could be heard in the speaker's voice.

"He's coming around," yet another voice stated. "I do believe he's trying to remain unconscious. Doesn't he know that you can't stay unconscious on command?" the voice was exasperated.

"He used to do this as a child," the first voice said with confidence. "I'll take care of this."

There was silence and then Anakin felt something cold and wet hit him. It was like being dumped on the Ice planet of Hoth, and he could feel the unforgiving cold all the way to his bones, sucking out the welcoming warmth. It shocked him out of his faux unconscious state. Water! Obi-Wan had doused him with water. _Again!_

"Obi-Wan!" he bellowed in outrage. "Cold water? Really? _Really_?"

Anakin glared at Obi-Wan, who looked at him in amusement, an arrogant smile on his face.

"Works every time," his master said with more smugness than any Jedi should have. Anakin began to stick out his tongue at him when he caught sight of the owners of the other two voices: Masters Yoda and Windu.

And suddenly, all humor disappeared and he remembered where he was and how he had gotten there… and whom he had left behind. With the remembrance of his wife came the flood of his pain that nearly staggered him.

He looked around and frowned. He…wasn't in the Gray.

He sat on a bench near a stream, shaded by a large tree. Soft, warm rays touched his face and he was surrounded by lush foliage. It was beautiful, and sunny and _colorful_. He had never seen such violently intense hues, and it took a moment before his eyes could adjust.

It was so sickeningly _happy _that it put him in a foul mood; his surroundings were the complete antithesis to everything that he was feeling.

Anakin closed his eyes and shook his head. He didn't know where he was and he didn't care. It didn't even matter who was here. They had gotten what they wanted; everyone was happy but him. The least they could do was leave him alone in his misery for the rest of eternity. He turned away from them.

"Go away," he said wearily, resting his head in his hands. He wondered if he could fall into a coma if he punched himself hard enough. _Could one fall into a coma in the afterlife?_ Anakin thought, staring at his fists darkly. He was willing to find out.

"You always were a sore loser, Anakin," Obi-Wan said in amusement.

"Maybe if I close my eyes," Anakin said loudly. "They'll go away."

"Anakin," Master Windu said, shaking his head in exasperation. "You're not even slightly curious as to why we're here?"

"To torment me?" the Knight suggested.

"Here, we are," Master Yoda said. "Because passed your test, you have."

"Yes," Master Windu agreed. "You were finally able to do in death what you were never able to do in life: let go of your wife, Padmé, for the good of all."

"Why do I care about all of this?" Anakin interrupted, trying to keep his pain at bay. Why wouldn't they stop talking? Didn't they understand how close he was to snapping, to utterly losing his mind? Maybe they didn't know… or maybe they didn't care.

"Because," Obi-Wan interjected, "You finally proved yourself worthy of forgiveness. When you willingly let Padmé go, after having actually been in a relationship with her, then you proved yourself a true Jedi. You proved that you were willing to sacrifice so that others could live, even to the detriment of your soul."

"Therefore, you gained redemption for Anakin Skywalker," Master Windu said, approval in his gaze. "You have proven yourself to all that you do indeed belong in the Force."

Anakin tried to muster happiness at Master Windu's statement. He had finally achieved his goal and gained redemption for his soul. Yet… he simply could _not_ be happy.

He closed his eyes, envisioning the face of his wife. Padmé.

"Thank you, Masters," the Knight said formally. "But I just… I…"

"Anakin?"

He whirled around at the sound of that sweet, warm voice. It was his wife. It was _Padmé_ and she was smiling brilliantly at him. There was no anger in her voice, no fury in her visage. She was there before him, perfect and happy.

He stood there for a moment and stared at her, his eyes widening to painful proportions. He could not believe what he was seeing. He simply could not.

"Padmé?" he said, disbelief leaking through his voice. "Padmé!"

And suddenly he was running to her and her to him. It was cheesy and like something from a bad holovid, but he didn't care! It was _Padmé_: his wife, his _everything_! He paused as she smashed into him, almost knocking him off of his feet. He hugged her tightly, pressing her close. His eyes closed tightly as tears ran down his cheeks.

"Padmé," he sobbed. "Oh Force, _Padmé_! I love you so much. Force, thank you. _Thank you_." He thought he might collapse with the power of his emotions. He squeezed Padmé tighter, unwilling to let her go. This was a miracle, a _miracle_.

He turned to look at the Masters, his eyes filling with tears. "How?" he croaked, still holding her close, refusing to release his wife. "_How_?"

Master Windu merely smiled. "It was the will of the Force."

"Now, Anakin." Obi-Wan spoke, smiling at him, "You can finally have peace. You have redeemed yourself. I am _so_ proud of you, my old Padawan, so proud."

Anakin beamed at Obi-Wan's words, and at the pride gleaming in the older man's eyes. "Thank you, Master."

"As your reward," Master Windu began, a small smile on his face. "You have gained admittance to the Hall of the Jedi. Do you remember this door?"

And in a blink, the white and gold door of ivory was before them.

Anakin involuntarily took a step back. "That's the _door_!" he said, glaring at it. "It gave me hell the first day I was here." He frowned at Master Windu, staring at him suspiciously. "Is this some kind of test?"

Master Yoda shook his head, amusement radiating from his small core. "In a while, this much fun I have not had. Unable to come before, you were, because stained was your soul. A healing has your soul gone through."

"Now you are able to pass," Obi-Wan said, grinning, nodding as he rubbed his beard. "Come, Anakin. There are many people who are waiting to see you."

Anakin smiled, happiness filling his heart and making his chest feel as though it would explode. "Yes, Master."

He turned to Padmé, extending his hand to her. "Come, my love." But she didn't take his hand. Moving away slightly, she wrapped her arms around her body and shook her head.

Anakin frowned. "Padmé. What's the matter?" He turned to the Jedi. "Why isn't she coming?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. "It's because she can't, Anakin. Padmé is not a Jedi. She cannot enter here."

"Wait, what? What are you saying?" he said, eyebrows rising. "Padmé, did you know about this?" This was _preposterous!_ Did that mean that Padmé would be stuck here?

Padmé refused to look him in the eye. "Anakin," she began. "The rules that govern the Gray are very particular. There are…_conditions_. I can only leave if my loved one actually comes here and only in the event that he or she can be followed out. When I came here, it was with the knowledge that I would never leave. The only way out is if I go with you and I cannot because I am not a Jedi." Her voice was a mere whisper, and she hugged herself tighter as though shielding herself from the heart wrenching truth.

"…Padmé." Just when he thought his wife could not blow his mind any more, she did. How could she have kept such a secret from him? How could she possibly _love_ him so much? He was not worthy of such love! He _couldn't_ be!

"Why didn't you _tell_ me, Padmé?" he went to her and grabbed her by the shoulder, shaking her gently. "_Why_!"

"What was the point?" she screamed, tearing herself out of his arms. At her outburst, the Jedi Masters looked away. Anakin could only stare at her in shock and sadness, eyes red from the pain ripping through him. How much was Padmé going to suffer for him? How much was she going to sacrifice?

"I made my decision! …This is what I wanted," Padmé said harshly, looking Anakin straight in the eye. "For so long, I felt responsible for what you did because I knew that it was both of our faults. Those trials were as much for me as they were for you. But now? Now both of our souls are free. The only difference is that you will be able to leave this place and I won't."

Her face softened as sorrow crossed her features. "You should go, Anakin," she whispered to him. "You deserve it."

Anakin glared at his wife. "That's bantha fodder and I'm not even going to address what you said." He turned to the Jedi. "Masters, is there nothing you can do?"

Obi-Wan and Master Windu looked to Master Yoda who sighed, and after a long pause finally said, "Leave, Padmé can, but take her alone we would. Trapped here, you would be, young Skywalker. If either cannot follow the other, than only one shall leave. Take some…convincing it would. But done, it can be."

"No!" Padmé exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Anakin!"

"Padmé," Anakin interrupted quietly, cupping her cheek and staring into wide, tear-filled eyes. "You've made your sacrifices. Let me make mine."

"No, Anakin! I won't go without you!" She clung to him, hysterical tears beginning to roll down her face. "You can't make me leave you! You _can't_!"

"But you want _me_ to leave without _you_?" he said, unable to keep the amusement from his voice. "Padmé, you are a strange woman."

She glared at him, and squeezed his arm tightly, showing without words her ire at his statement. Suddenly, she snapped her finger as an idea hit her.

"I have a question," she said, glancing at her husband, begging for his support. "Is it possible that you can take someone else out of here? Someone that's not Anakin or me?"

The three Jedi exchanged glances. "Possible, it would be," Master Yoda said nodding. "Do this, we can."

Padmé looked at Anakin who already had a feeling where this would lead and he could not help but smile at his wife's beautiful heart. Words could not express how blessed he was to have such a companion. Squeezing her shoulder, Anakin gave her his full support. "There is someone here, the Guardian of the River, who has been trapped for a long time. His name is Felix. Can you please take him away from this place? His only crime was in loving someone unworthy."

After a long moment of silence, Master Yoda nodded. "Do this for you we will. Understand that trapped you will be?"

Anakin and Padmé looked at one another.

"Yes," they said in unison, smiling at one another. "We understand."

"Very well," Master Windu said, nodding to them. "We shall see it done."

Padmé grined at them. "Thank you." She beamed at her husband who answered her smile by pulling her into his arms.

Anakin felt peace settle over him at what Padmé had done, at what _they_ had done. It was good to do right for its own sake.

"I'm afraid it's time for us to go," Master Windu continued. "We have already stayed longer than we should have."

Anakin nodded. He glanced at Obi-Wan and paused. Smiling gently, he went to his master. "Obi-Wan," he said, placing his hand on the other man's shoulder. "For the first time in a very long time, I am alright. Don't worry; we won't be in here forever. I believe that both Padmé and I will get out. Be at peace; we certainly are."

Obi-Wan smiled at him. "I will be waiting for you." His eyes grew misty as he gazed upon his friend. He had so anticipated being with Anakin again. But as he watched Anakin and Padmé together, at the way they looked at one another, at the love that shined in their eyes, he knew that this was the best for them. "Be happy, Anakin."

"I will," the Knight said with a grin. "And I will be looking forward to the reunion."

Obi-Wan clasped his shoulder one more time before releasing him.

"Find this guardian, we will," Master Yoda said as the Jedi began to fade. "Take him away from this place, we will. A great service have you done for him. Rewarded will you be."

"We trust that you will be fine together," Master Windu, eyeing them with a soft smile. "And we wish you both the best. May the Force be with you."

"We will meet again," Obi-Wan said, smiling widely at them. "May the Force be with you both."

Anakin and Padmé clung to one another as the Jedi continued to fade. "Thank you!" she yelled at them, waving. "Have fun in your afterlives!"

They both chuckled at the look of consternation on the Jedi's faces, feelings of warmth, contentment, and lightness swarming through them like sunshine on a cloudy day.

Then the three Masters broke into smiles and nodded. With that, the Jedi and the door vanished.

#*#*#*#*#

"I never thought I'd be glad to see this place," Padmé said as they finally arrived on the shore of her island. "I don't think I'm going on that River for a long time to come."

"If I ever step foot on it again, it'll be all too soon." Anakin said, glaring at the river. "I honestly wish we could get rid of it."

"Yeah, right," Padmé said, rolling her eyes. "You try to get rid of the mystical gray water. I'm right behind you, husband."

"Padmé." Anakin smiled at her, feeling as though his heart would burst with love for her. "I love you. _Always_."

"Hey, guys!" a voice croaked. They both looked up as Felix appeared a foot away from them.

"Felix!" Padmé exclaimed. "Why are you still here? Oh, Force, what's wrong?"

His hands covered his face, but they could still see tears running down his cheeks. He seemed to have lost control of his ability to change forms as he alternated between a grown man and a small boy. It was a bit disconcerting to look at the changes were quick flashes.

"I never thought I would ever leave this place, and I had to come and thank you before I left," he sobbed, tears pouring down his face. "This is the greatest gift that I have ever been given and I will never forget it. Ever."

Anakin and Padmé exchanged smiles, knowing they had done the right thing.

"I wanted to give you this before I left," Felix said, wiping the tears from his face, trying to control himself. "It's my Guardian's staff. It allows you to explore parts of the Gray that a normal passenger could not see. It should make your stay here less awfully horrendous."

"Thank you, Felix," Anakin said, exasperated as he took the staff. "Thank you for that."

"Goodbye, my friend!" Padmé yelled, as Felix began to fade. "I will never forget you!" She smiled as the tears once again began welling in Felix's eyes.

"And I will never forget you two either! I love you guys…and may the Force be with you…!" The Guardian of the River of Scars gave them a thumbs up before vanishing to Paradise.

They stared at the spot where he disappeared for a moment before Anakin spoke.

"We did good," he commented.

"Yeah," Padmé agreed, her eyes remaining on the spot. "We did."

"Okay, so let's test this baby out," Anakin said, his eyes gleaming as he twirled the staff around. "I can't wait to see these unchartered parts of the Gray."

Unable to help herself, Padmé rolled her eyes. "You are crazy, Anakin," she said, beginning to laugh. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."

#*#*#*#*#

Anakin worked diligently to keep track of how long they had been in the Gray since their journey on the River ended. According to his makeshift calendar, they had been there for fifty standard years.

In the beginning, they had held off exploring the Gray, somehow expecting to be taken to Paradise immediately. Yet as time passed and no one came for them, they realized that they were indeed in the Gray indefinitely and set out to make the island their home.

They never aged in the Gray, but instead retained their youthful appearance and stamina. It was a blessing, for they were able to leave their island at intervals to explore the Gray at their leisure. They found countless mind-boggling creatures that defied the laws of nature. They found portals made of crystal and lime that transported them in time and let them to see their pasts. They found caves that allowed them to see their children's activities as though they were at a drive-in holovid. It was amazing and gave them the opportunity to live as they never were able to in life: freely.

So, they lived in the Gray for years. One-hundred years…two-hundred years…much time passed and yet they could not be unhappy. They were together, so they were complete.

Five hundred years had passed in the Gray when something unusual happened.

Padmé woke and just felt… _strange_.

"Anakin," she asked. "Do you feel that?

"Yes, I do," he said frowning. "It feels like…I don't know. Everything just feels_ different_ today."

"It does," she said, sitting up.

"Padmé," Anakin said, turning to her. "I think we should go outside."

She nodded. They both climbed out of the bed and went outside.

Standing before them, in all its beautiful glory was the Ivory door.

Padmé felt a lump in her throat at the sight of the door. Her throat clogged and her eyes began to fill with tears of joy. "Does this mean what I think it means?" she whispered. As much as she had enjoyed her time in the Gray, to think that they would finally be able to see their friends, their loved ones…

"I think so," Anakin said, his eyes misting. "We're going home, Padmé. We're going to see all of our family and friends." He took a deep breath, his heart feeling as though it's going to beat out of his chest. He was going to Paradise! He was really going to Paradise…

"Yes," she said excitedly, reaching for his hand. "I'm ready!"

She paused and turned to him, grabbing him remaining hand and staring into his eyes. "But, before we go," Padmé said solemnly. "I want you to know that I would have stayed here for eternity if it meant I could be with you."

Anakin nodded, tears leaking from his eyes. "I love you, Padmé. _I love you_."

They gazed at each other a moment more before they moved forward. As they did, the Ivory doors opened, revealing a splendid luminance. Through the light, they could see their friends and family waiting; they saw Luke, Leia and Shmi, who stood with tears running down their faces, they saw Obi-Wan smiling broadly at them. There was Yoda and Cordé, even their grandchildren and Padmé's family. They were all waiting. For them.

"Ready?" Anakin said, smiling radiantly at her.

"Yes," she said, smiling back at him, her eyes shining with the light of a thousand suns. "I will go anywhere you lead, Anakin."

Hand in hand, they walked through the Ivory doors, leaving the Gray behind and moving into the Light of the Force.

**End of Soul's Scars**

*****IMPORTANT*****

Dear Reader:

Soul's Scars is my first finished work on this site and I am so very excited to see its completion.

My betas and I have put so much time, effort, sweat, and frustration into this story that's it's a little surreal to be posting the last chapter.

Since this is the last chapter, I'm asking all my readers to please leave a review. We've all worked so hard on this, and the only coin that we ask for is a few words telling the three of us how much your enjoyed it… or how much you hated it! (Hopefully we won't have many of those.)

So, please leave a review if you haven't done so. The few moments you take to write a word is infinitely more valuable to me than you think.

Thank you to everyone who stuck with me as I wrote this story and special thanks to all my consistent reviewers! I hope that it served to relieve boredom, lift spirits, and put a smile on your faces!

If you truly like this, I hope you take a look at my other story, Chosen: Restoration.

Once again, thank you for your support! Thank you for being awesome, and may the Force be with you.

WrittinInStone

*****Acknowledgements*****

Thank you to all the betas that helped me on this project:

Young at Heart21, who stuck with me all the way; TACAitsH, who was an encouragement to me up until the time she had to resign, and authorwithissues, who drives me nuts, but makes me a better writer. I could not have completed this without your dedication and support!


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